Extreme Loneliness

[Riven650]

.........
Brilliant advice! Although I would be a little more drunk than Riven :biggrin1:. No-one finds a wasted person attractive, but if you're a happy drunk a few extra drinks can give you the confidence you don't get through other methods.

So long as you promise not to puke in my car I'd drive you home subgirrl :wink:

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

I think it's better to to find other ways to gain confidance other than the bottle,what happens when one sobers up?

I have to say though that my confidance came with age.

 

[Riven650]

I think it's better to to find other ways to gain confidance other than the bottle,what happens when one sobers up?

I have to say though that my confidance came with age.

Hear that, naughty subgirrl?

Yes, I've become more confident with age. I'll give you a lift home from the club too Tasha, but you'll have to share a seat with subgirrl cos I'm out in my 2 seater tonight :biggrin1:

 

[adequate]

I have to commend all the previous posts here, excellent advice. I just want to submit my "best wishes" to you and to let you know you WILL get over this phase. Remain positive, don't spend too much time in front of this computer, instead, get out there. Join a gym, a cycling club,or any of the previous suggestions. Any thoughts of future schooling or is job hunting in your future? Whatever, I truly wish you happiness. :smile:

 

[Riven650]

I have to commend all the previous posts here, excellent advice. I just want to submit my "best wishes" to you and to let you know you WILL get over this phase. Remain positive, don't spend too much time in front of this computer, instead, get out there. Join a gym, a cycling club,or any of the previous suggestions. Any thoughts of future schooling or is job hunting in your future? Whatever, I truly wish you happiness. :smile:

What a nice man you are :smile:

 

[SpeedoMike]

a lot of great thoughts here. I found a gay community center's mens support group a wonderful and safe environment. some groups are better than others, but it's worth checking around. my group had a wide range of ages and we all learned from each other. you may find that for the first time in your life you will be accepted equally as an adult and no longer as a kid. that should really help you find a new confidence in yourself.

 

[B_subgirrl]

So long as you promise not to puke in my car I'd drive you home subgirrl :wink:

Why thank you, Riven. You're a true gentleman :smile:. And I promise your car is safe from puke - I have a cast iron stomach.

I think it's better to to find other ways to gain confidance other than the bottle,what happens when one sobers up?

I have to say though that my confidance came with age.

Once you sober up you've already done the deed so it doesn't matter any more :biggrin1:. Nah, joking. It's much better to have real confidence, but I do think the liquid kind is underrated sometimes. I think it can be helpful to use it to get a couple of good experiences, then those good experiences can help boost a person's real confidence.

I think I was more confident when I was younger, but depression and weight gain gave my confidence a real kicking for a few years.

Hear that, naughty subgirrl?

I was naughty . . . does that mean I get a spanking? :biggrin1:

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

Hear that, naughty subgirrl?

Yes, I've become more confident with age. I'll give you a lift home from the club too Tasha, but you'll have to share a seat with subgirrl cos I'm out in my 2 seater tonight :biggrin1:

I don't do clubbing anymore......well VERY rarely (i don't drink) but the trouble is my 5 daughters go to the same club LOL!!!

 

[Riven650]

I don't do clubbing anymore......well VERY rarely (i don't drink) but the trouble is my 5 daughters go to the same club LOL!!!

That's going to make offering you a lift home a bit tricky

Bloody hell! Did you say 5 daughters? And all clubbing! Phew. I bet they're a handful :biggrin1:

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

That's going to make offering you a lift home a bit tricky

Bloody hell! Did you say 5 daughters? And all clubbing! Phew. I bet they're a handful :biggrin1:

Yep,all 5 of them go out together and all watch me avidly and if a guy even considers even looking in my direction they stand round me.....they are good girls really and don't have too much to drink but all dance like....well you can imagine


Thankfully my son is too young to go clubbing but then he works away from home so i wouldnt know anyway:wink:

 

[B_subgirrl]

That's going to make offering you a lift home a bit tricky

Bloody hell! Did you say 5 daughters? And all clubbing! Phew. I bet they're a handful :biggrin1:

What he said

 

[Riven650]

Very good advice SpeedoMike.

[/Quote subgirrl]:
I was naughty . . . does that mean I get a spanking? :biggrin1:[/QUOTE]

Darn right you do :spankme:

 

[petite]

I recommend hanging out in coffeeshops. Visit regularly and the regulars will begin to recognize you and you'll become friends. I like it because you don't have to stay up until 2AM, like you would if you went to bars since the coffeeshops tend to get busy during the daytime, and that increases your likelihood of meeting someone who isn't an alcoholic, party animal, and who has their life together. Plus, it's not too loud to talk. A lot of people go to read or study, and that makes it easier to strike up a conversation. Or you could be a chess or scrabble player. I loved coffeeshop scrabble.

I liked the coffeeshops near the University. They were always full of an eclectic mix of people: high school students, college students, artists, poets, musicians, cops, and business people. I loved it so much I moved into the neighborhood!

 

[B_subgirrl]

Darn right you do :spankme:

I'll dream about it when I go to bed tonight :wink:

 

[Riven650]

I'll dream about it when I go to bed tonight :wink:

I don't mind if you do subgirrl :wink: but we mustn't wander off topic.

Petite's idea about hanging about in coffee shops is a good un. Excuse me, but is this seat taken? Oh by the way, your books upside down :biggrin1:

 

[B_subgirrl]

I recommend hanging out in coffeeshops. Visit regularly and the regulars will begin to recognize you and you'll become friends. I like it because you don't have to stay up until 2AM, like you would if you went to bars since the coffeeshops tend to get busy during the daytime, and that increases your likelihood of meeting someone who isn't an alcoholic, party animal, and who has their life together. Plus, it's not too loud to talk. A lot of people go to read or study, and that makes it easier to strike up a conversation. Or you could be a chess or scrabble player. I loved coffeeshop scrabble.

I liked the coffeeshops near the University. They were always full of an eclectic mix of people: high school students, college students, artists, poets, musicians, cops, and business people. I loved it so much I moved into the neighborhood!

Oh yeah, did the OP say if he was at uni or college? Coz joining clubs there can be a great way to meet people.

 

[sxjTheFirst]

I too used to be in your shoes till even my early 20s. Lacking confidence and self-esteem and very self-conscious about my looks. Things started changing after I entered the workforce and found that I was really good at some stuff and then made good friends too because it was a young workforce there most of us just out of college like me.

If I could go back in time I would give myself the following advice:
1. Not everyone is *really* doing all the awesome things they claim to have done.
2. There will always be areas in which you are far better than average
3. Looks can be worked on ... honestly I think it's OK to be average looking when you have good character
4. Not every thing in life is going to be perfect so relax learn to enjoy what you have
5. Most people are dumb, mean or both.

 

[B_subgirrl]

3. Looks can be worked on ... honestly I think it's OK to be average looking when you have good character

Agree. Very few of the people I've had sex or relationships with have been particularly good looking. For me, as for many people, it's all about the personality.

 

[snoahhs]

Just wanted to thank all you guys for providing real good advice and not making this a downer thread! Haha I know, it's something that will come in time. It's not really my looks I'm concerned about (I mean, like I said, I have no sixpack, but that doesn't bother me) sometimes its just the fact that you feel like you're living in a world made for couples.

Anyway, thank you all again.

 

[Boobalaa]

quit looking at internet sites like this ..actually quit the internet for awhile..the earth is moving, can you feel it?..There's a bright star up in the sky during the day called the sun, the sky is blue..It's Summer..There are NO REAL PEOPLE to meet on the internet..You are just sitting in front of a machine called a computer and looking at a screen as you type words..looking at real people and listening to real people is much more productive..USE the 5 senses nature provides you..So sorry if I didn't say what you wanted to hear..