Extreme Loneliness

[Riven650]

Incoming fab advice alert! See Boobalaa (above)

 

[helgaleena]

The only thing I can think of to add in this thread is-- smile. Try to set your face in a smile rather than a scowl when you aren't thinking about anything in particular. Get the muscles used to smiling.

I actually had to practice this. Much like developing abs. It has a good effect.

 

[longverythick]

The most intense exercise I know I call squat jump push-ups. Do a squat, jump, do a push-up and start over. I lost 0.6# in one minute (36# an hour). True most of it is water.

 

[BIGBULL29]

I too used to be in your shoes till even my early 20s. Lacking confidence and self-esteem and very self-conscious about my looks. Things started changing after I entered the workforce and found that I was really good at some stuff and then made good friends too because it was a young workforce there most of us just out of college like me.

If I could go back in time I would give myself the following advice:
1. Not everyone is *really* doing all the awesome things they claim to have done.
2. There will always be areas in which you are far better than average
3. Looks can be worked on ... honestly I think it's OK to be average looking when you have good character
4. Not every thing in life is going to be perfect so relax learn to enjoy what you have
5. Most people are dumb, mean or both.

Great post, buddy!

(We're the same age):wink::biggrin1:

 

[sxjTheFirst]

Great post, buddy!

(We're the same age):wink::biggrin1:

Thats one number where I can match you

 

[avg_joe]

Hey guys. I don't want to make this a sad depressing thing so I'll cut to the point.

Spent most of my childhood/early teens a bit overweight, therefore - self confidence sucks.

Now, at 18, I'm 5'9'' and 140 lbs, which is obviously anything but overweight. I think I look pretty good in the face, wish my body was a bit better (no sixpack... trying so hard though.. any tips?) but the worst thing of all is - I can't seem to get any self confidence.

This is an issue because I can't seem to pick up anyone. I haven't had any guys interested in me, and it's begin to drain on me being so alone.

What's your advice?
Thanks

Well, you can go to a weight lost camp or walk a couple of miles everyday until you lose weight.

 

[Frodo46888]

At your age, you have the opportunity to develop a good body, but don't set your sights too high. If you do, you'll keep on being disappointed in yourself and you'll remain depressed.

As long as you look and act depressed, you won't attract many guys, but once you decide that you're an attractive package and act accordingly, you'll have offers. I'll bet you look pretty good to some right now but you're too down on yourself to notice.

 

[BIGBULL29]

Thats one number where I can match you

Just one? LOL

Well, I would love to have some vindaloo (extremely spicy) and a mango lassi if can't match the other numbers (I see you cook).:biggrin1:

Peace and take care

 

[mephistopheles]

I'm not sure how old you are or anything but just relax, everyone goes through this kinda thing every now and again. In life you move in miles, to the left and right, you know.

You'll pull out of it.

Try spend more time around people, that helps me.

:biggrin1:

Marc

 

[B_subgirrl]

Well, you can go to a weight lost camp or walk a couple of miles everyday until you lose weight.

Errr, he said he's not overweight anymore.

 

[D_Jimmy Jammer]

we mustn't wander off topic.

Yes.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

Just wanted to thank all you guys for providing real good advice and not making this a downer thread! Haha I know, it's something that will come in time. It's not really my looks I'm concerned about (I mean, like I said, I have no sixpack, but that doesn't bother me) sometimes its just the fact that you feel like you're living in a world made for couples.

Anyway, thank you all again.

I feel for you. I think many guys don't know exactly how to deal with their loneliness because of cultural reasons, also maybe what you're saying about "living in a world made for couples" could be changed. You might want to live in a large city where there are a lot of single people; some looking for partners and others wanting to remain single. I don't think you have to be married to be happy and fulfilled. I don't feel this is a downer thread but more what people experience in their lives. I think all of us can learn from your experience. I got some great advice from an older friend of mine years ago; he said, do the things you love to do and similar people will come into your life naturally. It has proved to be very true for me. All the best. :smile:

 

[sxjTheFirst]

Just one? LOL

Well, I would love to have some vindaloo (extremely spicy) and a mango lassi if can't match the other numbers (I see you cook).:biggrin1:

Peace and take care

My cooking is very basic I am afraid.

 

[BIGBULL29]

My cooking is very basic I am afraid.

Ok...but would you be willing to cook me a dinner?

(sorry for going off-topic):biggrin1:

 

[BIGBULL29]

I feel for you. I think many guys don't know exactly how to deal with their loneliness because of cultural reasons, also maybe what you're saying about "living in a world made for couples" could be changed. You might want to live in a large city where there are a lot of single people; some looking for partners and others wanting to remain single. I don't think you have to be married to be happy and fulfilled. I don't feel this is a downer thread but more what people experience in their lives. I think all of us can learn from your experience. I got some great advice from an older friend of mine years ago; he said, do the things you love to do and similar people will come into your life naturally. It has proved to be very true for me. All the best. :smile:

Good post! Makes a lot of sense.

 

[freyasworld]

Why the mad rush to be a couple....seriously you are 18 a baby still, you have many years of fun ahead of you without thinking you need to be in a relationship of sorts. Now go and join a gym, mix socialise and train with other guys and girls, you'll soon be making friends, going for a coffee or a beer, might even help you with your perceived physique and as you get better and more toned then newbies will soon be speaking to you and asking you how you managed to get cut etc etc.

You'll have something in common with a lot of people, you'll be training and developing the body you want and guess what, your confidence will spiral....hopefully not out of control, but there's no rush, in 6 months what you wish for now might be a distance long forgotton thought!

 

[sxjTheFirst]

Yeah you don't want to be married at 18!