facial hair on women, please help

AlteredEgo

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windtalkerways said:
Hey Bronx,

Oh I realize that you shoot from the
hip, when you make a post. You are
a very confident woman and give as
good as you get but I suppose I'm
just looking at it from the viewpoint
of someone asking a question for the
first time...they may be less confident
in voicing their concerns, then the
comments begin, when what they
asked for was some positive help.

Sometimes we post without thinking
how those words will be perceived by
others...but sure...it's easy to see
that you and I have vastly different
approaches with regard to answering
someones query and I can respect
the difference, as this would be a boring
world if we were all cut from the same
mold.

Windtalker.

Windtalker:

I'm often sarcastic, but never cruel, so please don't project. Like I said, i'm not prone to giving out random hugs, but I'm not one for random disrespect either. What I said was frank, as well as true. Positive help? Always here for you. Coddling? Look elsewhere.

But here's the happy-happy joy-joy version of my advice. It's not funny, and it's a much longer read.

As I see this particular situation, a person starts out with two choices:

Keep being shallow

Stop being shallow

Now, a person who makes an attempt (especially a successful one) to stop being shallow is out of choices at that point. However, their problem is also gone.

A person who decides (and it is a decision, make no mistake) to keep being shallow has more choices, but also more problems. They now have two more choices.

Attempt to "fix" their current situation

Find a new situation

In a perfect world, the shallow person that attempts to "fix" this mustache that.. wait let's quote the man, shall we? What did he say? How did he describe it?

satsumasteve said:
above her top lip she has a few hairs. As she is a brunette these darks hairs every now and then catch the light and you can make out a dark line along her upper lip, effectivly a moustache.

So these (in his words) few dark hairs catch the light from time to time, he finds it intolerable, and he goes to "fix" this problem. In a perfect world, she says, "Well I never noticed them and/or was never bothered by them, but I'm glad you have removed my ignorance and I'll now be sure to maintain this area. Please do alert me in the future if you notice it's time for a touch up.

In the real world it is likely that whether she says something like that or not, whether she agrees to elilminate the offending hair or not, she will become more self-aware, more worried, embarrassed, and possibly even hurt.

I know I would resent the hell out of it, and if things got shaky between us, it would be one more thing on the list of reaasons for me to leave. Most women are in the habit of removing our various offensive hairs, and any I leave behind are deliberately left behind. Think about it, I pull the two hairs that grow on my right hand, whatever grows on my face gets waxed/tweezed, my eyebrows are shaped, my bikini area is shaped, my legs and underarms are shaved, the hair on my head is relaxed. it hasn't ever happened, but if the hairs on my forearms ever bothered someone enough for them to speak on it? They'd be history. They'd also have to be very shallow. Same goes for the hairs inside my ass. I tried to remove them once and the pain convinced me they belong there. Sorry, Charlie. I suspect this is the case for just about any woman who has hair anywhere other than her scalp and eyebrows. She knows they are there, and has decided she doesn't want to have to remove them, or she already would have.

So now you have new problems. Your girlfriend now may be resentful, less confident, embarrassed, hurt, annoyed, and a myriad of other feelings, and she might take these new feelings out on you. But hey- better she be the one left obsessed with her facial hair, after all, it's her "problem".

The remaining choice is find a new girlfriend who doesn't have a mustache. But that comes with its own problems. First, you'd have to get rid of your current one, and that comes with baggage. Then, you actually have to find another one. And she has to be as wonderful as the last one, but she can't have a mustache. Tricky.

These are my opinions and you can eat at my table or choose another one that suits you better.

Remember: It's not having superficial preferences that make us shallow. We all have those. It's excluding people for shallow reasons, or focusing unnduly on the superficial things that make us shallow people. We cannot help what we prefer, but we can control both our thoughts and our actions.
 

madame_zora

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BronxBombshell said:
Windtalker:

I neither dissed nor ridiculed anyone. Unprovoked disrespect is not my way. However, neither is dishonesty. I always say what I think, and I usually say it the first way I think it.

My communication style will often come across as harsh, and sometimes come across as crude, but my words almost always leave a lasting impression. Friends and associates respect me because I can always be counted on to let them know when their shit stinks, and I can take criticism myself.

I'm glad that this forum has both bomb-droppers like me, and warm huggers like you. Keep doing you, and I'll keep doing me. (There's a joke in that somewhere.)

Okay, masturbation for everyone!

Windtalker, if you didn't answer every post in every thread, people might actually have time to miss you. You're seriously risking overexposure, and that's coming from ME! haha.

*point of reference, with 6000 posts, been here over two tears, that's about 50 or 60 posts a week. I'm by far the most prolific poster, but that's not something I have any interest in maintaining.

In one week, you've posted FIVE TIMES THAT MUCH, and done so before anyone even knows you, so we're less likely to want you crammed up our underwear in every single thread. Most people find it beneficial to read more than they post, especially when they are new. Doesn't seem to be your style. You came right on board insinuating yourself in to every little detail without even knowing what was going on. Love takes time, let us get to know you SLOWLY so we might like you better, or not.

Those of us who have been through this here and on other forums recognise you as an attention monster, and that's not a good thing.
 

windtalkerways

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madame_zora said:
Okay, masturbation for everyone!

Windtalker, if you didn't answer every post in every thread, people might actually have time to miss you. You're seriously risking overexposure, and that's coming from ME! haha.

*point of reference, with 6000 posts, been here over two tears, that's about 50 or 60 posts a week. I'm by far the most prolific poster, but that's not something I have any interest in maintaining.

In one week, you've posted FIVE TIMES THAT MUCH, and done so before anyone even knows you, so we're less likely to want you crammed up our underwear in every single thread. Most people find it beneficial to read more than they post, especially when they are new. Doesn't seem to be your style. You came right on board insinuating yourself in to every little detail without even knowing what was going on. Love takes time, let us get to know you SLOWLY so we might like you better, or not.

Those of us who have been through this here and on other forums recognise you as an attention monster, and that's not a good thing.

Actually this site was new and fun and
fresh this past week for me. There are
many warm and friendly people here,
with whom I've shared some laughs.

I'm sorry my posting patterns offend
some but this is how I am...if I see a
thread I want to leave a comment on,
then I do.

I too am a member of several other
forums and have never seen a newcomer
chastized for posting too much. This is
very intriguing.

I am a member here, the same as everyone
else and I will feel free to post how often I
choose.


 

sexycobra

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I don't know if my 2 cents is welcome here, but I'll take a chance.

I feel bad for windtalkerways, because I know this poster from another forum and I think she can give a lot to a forum such as LPSG. Maybe that is why she is already posting like a veteran, because she has experience with the topics discussed here.

Now, my personal opinion: windertalkerways, you will realize (or are perhaps realizing already) that there are other strong female voices here on this forum, which I think may be different from the experiences you've had on other forums (I may be wrong about this). This certainly changes the dynamics of a board. There may be a slight period of adjustment here.

I'm hoping that everybody will get along here. I, for one, enjoy the contribution of female posters with strong individual voices such as madame_zora, BronxBombshell, and windtalkerways, to name just a few of them (the ones who happen to be discussing this thread).
 

madame_zora

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Sometimes it gets boring knowing everything and I knew this would look like sour grapes coming from me, but it's not. We got on Chris for doing the same thing, remember? It's not about female jealousy, it's about balance.

Yes, lpsg is an awful lot of fun and I was a little hyper when I first joined too, the difference is I didn't pick on the vets before I even knew them, she does.
Still, the older members were kind enough to let me know that I didn't have to catch up to them all at once, so I was sharing a helpful hint.