AlteredEgo
Mythical Member
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windtalkerways said:Hey Bronx,
Oh I realize that you shoot from the
hip, when you make a post. You are
a very confident woman and give as
good as you get but I suppose I'm
just looking at it from the viewpoint
of someone asking a question for the
first time...they may be less confident
in voicing their concerns, then the
comments begin, when what they
asked for was some positive help.
Sometimes we post without thinking
how those words will be perceived by
others...but sure...it's easy to see
that you and I have vastly different
approaches with regard to answering
someones query and I can respect
the difference, as this would be a boring
world if we were all cut from the same
mold.
Windtalker.
Windtalker:
I'm often sarcastic, but never cruel, so please don't project. Like I said, i'm not prone to giving out random hugs, but I'm not one for random disrespect either. What I said was frank, as well as true. Positive help? Always here for you. Coddling? Look elsewhere.
But here's the happy-happy joy-joy version of my advice. It's not funny, and it's a much longer read.
As I see this particular situation, a person starts out with two choices:
Keep being shallow
Stop being shallow
Now, a person who makes an attempt (especially a successful one) to stop being shallow is out of choices at that point. However, their problem is also gone.
A person who decides (and it is a decision, make no mistake) to keep being shallow has more choices, but also more problems. They now have two more choices.
Attempt to "fix" their current situation
Find a new situation
In a perfect world, the shallow person that attempts to "fix" this mustache that.. wait let's quote the man, shall we? What did he say? How did he describe it?
satsumasteve said:above her top lip she has a few hairs. As she is a brunette these darks hairs every now and then catch the light and you can make out a dark line along her upper lip, effectivly a moustache.
So these (in his words) few dark hairs catch the light from time to time, he finds it intolerable, and he goes to "fix" this problem. In a perfect world, she says, "Well I never noticed them and/or was never bothered by them, but I'm glad you have removed my ignorance and I'll now be sure to maintain this area. Please do alert me in the future if you notice it's time for a touch up.
In the real world it is likely that whether she says something like that or not, whether she agrees to elilminate the offending hair or not, she will become more self-aware, more worried, embarrassed, and possibly even hurt.
I know I would resent the hell out of it, and if things got shaky between us, it would be one more thing on the list of reaasons for me to leave. Most women are in the habit of removing our various offensive hairs, and any I leave behind are deliberately left behind. Think about it, I pull the two hairs that grow on my right hand, whatever grows on my face gets waxed/tweezed, my eyebrows are shaped, my bikini area is shaped, my legs and underarms are shaved, the hair on my head is relaxed. it hasn't ever happened, but if the hairs on my forearms ever bothered someone enough for them to speak on it? They'd be history. They'd also have to be very shallow. Same goes for the hairs inside my ass. I tried to remove them once and the pain convinced me they belong there. Sorry, Charlie. I suspect this is the case for just about any woman who has hair anywhere other than her scalp and eyebrows. She knows they are there, and has decided she doesn't want to have to remove them, or she already would have.
So now you have new problems. Your girlfriend now may be resentful, less confident, embarrassed, hurt, annoyed, and a myriad of other feelings, and she might take these new feelings out on you. But hey- better she be the one left obsessed with her facial hair, after all, it's her "problem".
The remaining choice is find a new girlfriend who doesn't have a mustache. But that comes with its own problems. First, you'd have to get rid of your current one, and that comes with baggage. Then, you actually have to find another one. And she has to be as wonderful as the last one, but she can't have a mustache. Tricky.
These are my opinions and you can eat at my table or choose another one that suits you better.
Remember: It's not having superficial preferences that make us shallow. We all have those. It's excluding people for shallow reasons, or focusing unnduly on the superficial things that make us shallow people. We cannot help what we prefer, but we can control both our thoughts and our actions.