Failure

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by D_alfreleeb, Mar 6, 2007.

  1. D_alfreleeb

    D_alfreleeb Member

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    Tonight, for the first time ever, I failed to get hard while with someone. I have no idea why, I wasn't drunk, there wasnt anything different to usual going on. And not only that, my girlfriend then decided to take it to mean I don't find her attractive, so she stormed off.

    So, I'm angry at her, and I'm angry at my cock. Grr. :mad:
     
  2. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    Just like an unwanted hardon, it happens for any reason or no reason. Our erectile response is an involuntary response. Or mostly involuntary, or something. All I know is you can't force a hard-on to come on or go away.
     
  3. Late Knight

    Late Knight New Member

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    Well now, I think that's happend millions of times to millions of guys. There isn't anything at all wrong with you guy, it happens to everybody and if someone says it doesn't they are are telling a great big fat lie! There are a lot of reasons and a lot of them are just a natural and normal thing, so don't lose your head. Don't get all uptight, why I bet you'll wake up in the morning with a boner. And, if you don't I bet if you worked at it you could raise the titanic. On the other hand, it might be a good thing your so-called girlfriend took off. If she doesn't know any better than how us guys work, then she needs to go back to school somewhere else and you don't need to be the teacher.... you need a real woman that cares.:wink:
     
  4. D_alfreleeb

    D_alfreleeb Member

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    I sent her a text earlier on, apologising, and she just sent me this reply:

    "Its over."

    Wow. Just, wow.
     
  5. GBF64

    GBF64 Well-Known Member

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    That sucks bigUK. You have'nt mentioned your age, but both older and younger men can have a few rounds of the spark not being able to ignite the fire. Some women can be very self-centered/low self-esteem, and take your inability to perform as a sign of dissatisfaction or lack of appeal to their looks.
    Sorry to say, but move on. A true love would not chastise you, but understand that sometimes this issue occurs from time to time with all men. A true love will stand by your side with understanding, and will look forward to the next time when you're ready, or even if you're not.
    Just my 2 cents.
     
  6. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    That was unbelievably cruel of her. This happens to guys all the time. Doesn't mean a damn thing other than you weren't in the mood. It may be no consolation now, but you're well rid of her.
     
  7. Late Knight

    Late Knight New Member

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    You should have a celebration!!! I wish to God that had happened to me with my first wife. Oh no, I had to marry her.:eek: She didn't understand anything other than how to make a man wish he was worth less than a pile of pig shit. Sorry I just had to get that out....:mad: On he other hand, your young. You have a whole bright future in fount of you.:rolleyes: If I were you, I'd be looking for a better woman.. one you can make friends with first before sex. You can always just jack off if you need to. Use your penis on only the one you love, if you do this life will be grand.:biggrin1: Trust me on this one. Your not alone here.
     
  8. Ed69

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    The few times I could not get it up my wife just grabbed the toy box.Game on!This girl sounds very shallow,find a woman you'll be alot happier.
     
  9. giantsfrey

    Verified Gold Member

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    perhaps she's not shallow - she may just be inexperienced or young and she simply doesn't understand. i'd try talking to her about it first, maybe she just needs to learn that dicks have a mind of their own occasionally, and everything will be better next time. if she can't hear you out about that, it's probably because she made her mind up that the relationship was over a while ago, and she's just using this as her out. girls are unreasonable like that at times...
     
  10. mcnormal

    mcnormal New Member

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    I can't believe she took it that way. It may be a blessing in disguise like others here have said.
     
  11. Kotchanski

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Send her one back from me telling her the following

    "Your a fucking disgrace to the female population. A worthless dispicable excuse for a human being"

    Sometime they just don't happen, no reason other than it just doesn't want to play the game at that exact moment in time. Don't stress it and be grateful it happened and you got to find out what a bitch she was.

    Now go find someone actually worth being with.
     
  12. B_largelarry

    B_largelarry New Member

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    Now that she has ended it in such an irrational and insensitive manner, you should send her a text back telling her that you DID indeed lose your erection because of her lack of attractiveness.

    Be sure to mention the phrases "cottage cheese" and "thunder thighs" often if they even slightly apply.

    She'll need at least 5 years of therapy to get over it.
     
  13. B_josiah852

    B_josiah852 New Member

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    This will and or has happened to all of us. One time happened to me when I was on some prescription sinus medication. Happened twice in a row. But when I quit taking the medicine my erection came back easily with the same woman. Nerves can do it also when with a woman for the first time. When a woman storms off when this happens to a man, it's time to find a more mature woman.


     
  14. DC_DEEP

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    I understand the responses from Kot and largelarry, but the best thing is: just move on. It's not easy, but there you have it. Regardless of the pain and humiliation you may (or may not) feel, it was her problem and her unreasonable response. I'm guessing she was looking for a reason, and found one. If it had not been a lack of erection last night, it would be the way you hold a wine glass the next night, or how you fold your socks next week.

    Life teaches some cruel lessons, and this is one of them. Keep looking, I had to kiss a lot of toads over 42 years before I found a prince. Learn from this, and try not to look for the same person in a different body the next time. Most of us wonder why we have several failed relationships over time, and the reason is often so simple. We look for the same things in a person, over and over, and we usually find them. Stretch your limits, date a few women that you formerly would not have considered. You may find some delightful surprises. Date a curvy girl instead of a thin one; a tall one instead of a short one; an older one instead of a younger one; a brunette instead of a blonde; an A-cup instead of a DD-cup.
     
  15. hung

    Gold Member

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    Or the Topic should read: Looking Forward to the Future.

    Now that you have been unshackled, think how much better your future appears. You have received great advice from your peers here on LPSG.

    Go Now, and enjoy life.
     
  16. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    When a relationship is strong I don't think this needs to happen. The bonds between partners in sex surely ought to be more than the excitement of sexual coupling. Real lovers know each other at a deeper level.
    If all you are to each other is fuck buddies and one partner isn't up to performance level at the moment you will be frustrated. But real lovers have many ways in which to express their love. Many times lovers are satisfied with just the "nearness of you" factor and then quiet cuddling is all that is required. On the other hand, when all systems are "go" things procede very naturally and the actual coupling is the wonderful confirmation of the bonds that already exist. When one partner senses that the other for some reason is not ready the loving thing to do is not to press the issue. When I'm not up to performance level and my partner deals with it quietly and lovingly I am reassured and our love bond is strenthened rather than threatened.
    Friendship and love are life's best gifts to me and I do well to guard them tenderly.
     
  17. D_alfreleeb

    D_alfreleeb Member

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    Thanks for all the advice people, the situation is that I've now finished it. She called me up to apologise to me, but I just told her I can't deal with her insecurities any more (this isn't the first time she's completely lost it over something trivial). Sad to lose her, but it was becoming intolerable.
     
  18. HazelGod

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    This was my thought exactly. It sounded like she had one foot out the door already and was waiting for a reason to slam it shut.
     
  19. D_alfreleeb

    D_alfreleeb Member

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    I dunno, she seemed pretty keen on trying to fix things today. She was almost begging me to try and work things out. I said no, cos she hurt me a lot last night, and her insecurities have become very tiresome. Many, many times she's flipped over nothing, convinced she's unattractive, despite my constant reassurances that she's not.

    My cock does appear to be fine though, halfway through this evening I got hard as a rock.
     
  20. b.c.

    Gold Member

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    Just speculation, but maybe that part I highlighted had something to do with it. Guys are sometimes all ego you know...the big head all full of it, saying to the smaller "head", "Charge!... gotta be the man...go get it!".

    And sometimes at precisely the same time the smaller "head" is saying, "Who... me?? Now??"
     
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