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Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Pecker, Jun 9, 2008.
Move your bulk by the pound!
I want to learn more about that 'sliding scale'...
So coming back from Christmas holidays will be more expensive than going.
On a complete aside - I've just realised how popular cultural can sidle into the mind- I read 'gourmet snacks' as 'gourmet snakes'... (on a motherfucking plane!!)
Oh, this looks good! LOL!!
Wonder if you can get the tickets on travelocity?
Very Funny! It's a better alternative than this
News for 'LCC' - (The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review Eric Heyl column)
Jun 06, 2008 (The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review - McClatchy-Tribune Information
Services via COMTEX) -- Ripped from tomorrow's headlines:
TEMPE, Ariz. -- In another move designed to streamline skyrocketing airline
costs, US Airways announced today that it no longer will provide seating to
passengers who fly in coach.
Seats still will be available to those in first class. But beginning July 1,
those purchasing coach tickets will spend their flights holding onto
subway-style straps dangling from the carry-on baggage compartments.
"This is a win-win for the airline and consumers," US Airways CEO
said at a news conference at the airline's headquarters.
"It will significantly increase the fuel efficiency of our airplanes, as
virtually eliminate frequent passenger complaints that the seats are too
and spaced too closely together."
Facing soaring fuel costs during a severe economic downturn, airlines have
laying off employees, raising various fees and eliminating what once were
standard offerings on their flights.
American Airlines, for example, announced last month it will charge $15 for
single checked bag. Delta passengers pay $25 for making reservations via
telephone. US Airways no longer provides complimentary in-flight peanuts and
Parker called the removal of coach seats "a natural next step in this
process." He reacted angrily when asked if the move could cause some
to feel as though they are being treated as little more than cattle.
"That's ridiculous," he said. "Cattle have hooves. They
aren't capable of
Industry experts predicted US Airways would realize additional savings from
going seatless in coach by eliminating its inventory of items typically
in seat backs.
"There is every indication the airline no longer will be providing
magazines, air sickness bags or emergency instruction pamphlets," said an
analyst with Amalgamated Aviation Observers Inc. "Where would they put
In addition to the recent snack cutbacks, Parker said that US Airways soon
to stop providing passengers with any beverages -- including water.
"We're confident most passengers will be able to stay sufficiently
even on coast-to-coast flights, by recycling their own perspiration,"
"And we're going to make it easier for people to do that by
wiring on all airplane air conditioning."
Although the airline plans to remove every restroom from its fleet by
to further increase passenger capacity, Parker insisted the lack of
would not pose a significant inconvenience to people.
"We're cognizant that not everyone can stave off nature's call on
trans-Atlantic flight in which the plane sat on the runway for three hours
before taking off for no discernible reason," he said.
"That's why we're going to begin allowing people to bring their
catheters on board -- for a modest fee, of course."
Eric Heyl is a Tribune-Review staff writer. He can be reached at
email@example.com or 412-320-7857.