Fakers - A Psychiatric Condition?

[petite]

Sick note: Faking illness online | Münchausen by internet | Life and style | The Guardian

I recently read an article about this phenomenon. I thought about making a thread about it because of how many fakers come to LPSG seeking attention of one sort or another, but I forgot about it until I saw HickBoy's link.

We've certainly had our share of those around here, and boy, the trouble they caused. http://www.lpsg.org/26208-dmw-gone.html

Here are a few excerpts from the article:

Mandy is one of a growing number of people who pretend to suffer illness and trauma to get sympathy from online support groups. Think of Tyler Durden and Marla Singer in Fight Club, only these support groups are virtual, and the people deceived are real. From cancer forums to anorexia websites, LiveJournal to Mumsnet, trusting communities are falling victim to a new kind of online fraud, one in which people are scammed out of their time and emotion instead of their money. The fakers have nothing to gain from their lies – except attention.

Some psychiatrists have started using the term Münchausen by internet (MBI) to describe this behaviour. Whereas Münchausen syndrome requires physically acting out symptoms to get attention from doctors, online scammers just have to be able to describe them convincingly. There's a potentially limitless audience of sympathetic ears, and success can be quantified by the number of concerned emails and message board posts generated by your lies. Some even go so far as to fake their own deaths, reading their own obituaries and observing the torrent of grief from the comfort of their living room. If they are rumbled – and they rarely are, conclusively – they just go to another support group, and to a fresh batch of trusting victims. The people they've fooled rarely find it so easy to move on.

"We can only guess why people do this, because rarely do the perpetrators come forward," says Dr Marc Feldman, clinical professor of psychiatry and author of Playing Sick. "Many of these people are simply after attention and sympathy that they feel unable to get in another way. These are people who often lack social skills, and they can't come up with more straightforward ways to ask that their needs be met."

Feldman is a specialist in factitious disorder – an umbrella term describing cases where people intentionally act ill, or claim their loved ones are ill, without obvious benefit to themselves. He coined the term MBI in 2000. "It's hard to say how common it is because the disorder is based in deceit. We're only detecting cases where the ruses have failed, which is probably a minority." Still, he hears of a new case every three weeks or so, and believes the phenomenon is becoming more widespread. "With the explosion of internet-based support groups and special interest groups, increasing numbers of people have realised these forums can be abused."

It can be almost impossible for online support groups to move on once they've found a faker in their midst, and some communities have been destroyed by the experience. They are supposed to be places of refuge for vulnerable people, and the trust on which they are based can be replaced by pervasive paranoia. If there's no outright confession, the group can be divided in two, with one side supporting the suspect and the other demanding their exclusion from the community.

Whether feigning illness online or in the real world, fakers are often profoundly disappointed when they're told they may be ill after all. Many appear to prefer the stigma of being labelled cruel to that of being a psychiatric patient. According to Kanaan, this could be a false distinction. "There's confusion about where the line lies between being a bad person and being ill. Someone who's doing this, I'm afraid, could be both."

Personally, I think a person who does this is both a bad person and a person with a condition.

 

[B_Hickboy]

Oh yeah? Pix or it didn't happen.

 

[midlifebear]

I guess online-munchausen is as real as anything else. But it were a mighty sad day when Jason_El went for the big dirt nap. Such a pleasant, curious, forgiving, and resilient soul. There was no Münchausen monkey business involved in his escape beyond the realm.

 

[B_Hickboy]

I guess online-munchausen is as real as anything else. But it were a mighty sad day when Jason_El went for the big dirt nap. Such a pleasant, curious, forgiving, and resilient soul. There was no Münchausen monkey business involved in his escape beyond the realm.

Yep, he was a good 'un.

 

[Bbucko]

I used to spend a lot of time on a message board designed specifically for networking and support for people living with HIV/AIDS. Right around the same time I joined, another member did, too, but with an extremely provocative story: he claimed to be a 15-year old male infected by a much older man who'd lied regarding his status, causing him to disregard safer sex precautions.

His presence there caused a real shitstorm of mixed emotions. Most all of us were incredibly empathetic, though there were some who smelled a rat immediately. They were treated to an intense hostility on the boards, by myself no less than by many others. He was also the target of a predator who was eventually banned when the full extent of his creepiness came to full light.

My blogmate and I took him under our wings as mentors and confidants: I used to call us his Fairy Pozfathers, and he became a regular addition first to our YIMs then later Skype calls, and I got to at least think that I knew him well. His persona was a study in contradictions and paradox; at times he seemed extremely mature (his writing skills were at least equal to my own), yet at other times there was a naivety about him that was disarmingly boyish (he didn't understand very much about his body or how puberty was effecting it though he knew a great deal about HIV). We were very protective of the person whom my blogmate called "The Little Man" and considered him a fairly damaged but incredibly precocious and gifted young man.

About two years later my blogmate disclosed during a private Skype call that he'd just discovered that The Little Man was a F2M transgendered person undergoing hormone therapy and planning to have his breasts removed (though I discovered later that he has no interest in a phalloplasty). I accepted this as probably the best explanation for his near-complete ignorance of male biology, and when he disclosed to the full board membership, my blogmate and I were his vociferous defenders/protectors. After a minor dust-up on the boards, everything went back to normal.

There were some internal political machinations that caused me to leave the message board, though I continued to communicate with my blogmate and The Little Man on Skype, YIM and/or e-mails. There were frequent promises that he'd be visiting his aunt in Miami which came and went without ever bearing any fruit, and eventually we wound up communicating primarily by phone. I heard all the kitchen-sink drama of a young man: BFs and parental issues, primarily. On his 18th birthday I sent him a couple of books that I knew he'd enjoy (Closer by Dennis Cooper and City of Night By John Rechy).

Shortly after his birthday I got an e-mail from my blogmate that just rattled me to the core: The Little Man wasn't HIV+. His entire charade was some sort of very bizarre plea for attention and concern. This was entirely different from the whole transsexual thing for me, and I felt betrayed on a really instinctual, base level. Faking being poz was just one lie to many for me. FWIW, the message board shows statistics for things like threads with the most responses, most views, etc, and also which members have been logged in the longest and who has started the the most threads. Though he no longer posts there (and hasn't for over a year), The Little Man still holds the record for most threads started, almost all in the Off Topic Forum.

I still occasionally get notes from him on my Facebook page (yet another reason why I'm hardly ever there anymore) which I ignore with a deep sadness. But I can't think of any level of relationship that I could work out with him.

 

[helgaleena]

I was involved with a Yahoo group once where the founder claimed to know Hayden Christensen and family, live down the street, and began to hint about HC being deathly ill! Lots of persons conversed off-group with this individual and sent money and gifts, not certain what they were for exactly-- I heard later about all this once the group was dissolved.

The human imagination is a great tool.

 

[Incocknito]

Some humans are just tools.

 

[petite]

I guess online-munchausen is as real as anything else. But it were a mighty sad day when Jason_El went for the big dirt nap. Such a pleasant, curious, forgiving, and resilient soul. There was no Münchausen monkey business involved in his escape beyond the realm.

He was obviously much loved. I am sorry that I never had the chance to get to know him.

I still occasionally get notes from him on my Facebook page (yet another reason why I'm hardly ever there anymore) which I ignore with a deep sadness. But I can't think of any level of relationship that I could work out with him.

I am so sorry that happened to you. I can imagine that Little Man felt a need for the kind of connection that you offered, but he didn't know how to get it in a healthy way. I'm sorry that he abused your trust by lying to you! It simply shows how resilient your compassion is that you continued to defend him after discovering his deception about his gender. Obviously, though, the lie that he was HIV positive went too far, way too far.

 

[nudeyorker]

Since becoming a moderator I've become more aware of people on the board who are not what they appear to be. I think that this deceit is basically a chance for people to be someone or something that they are not in real life.
I think that the guys who pretend to be woman get some bizarre satisfaction from having straight men shower them with attention and praise; what I don't understand is how they are unable to realize that it's not real and has nothing to do with who they really are... maybe it's a game for people I'm not really sure.
The one thing that upsets me in regard to this subject more than almost anything else are the people who fake illness and impending death for attention. It boggles my mind that people can be so cavalier with the emotions of other people and manipulate them for attention. I've had to deal with the fallout of these scenarios a couple of times with members who get so caught up with the emotions of real compassion and then have to deal with their anger and sadness of being manipulated. I've almost reached a point where I can start recognizing the patterns, but I still give people the benefit of the doubt until they paint themselves into the corner with the lies.
It's always been easier for me to be myself here and in life, but I suppose for some people it's not.

 

[petite]

Since becoming a moderator I've become more aware of people on the board who are not what they appear to be. I think that this deceit is basically a chance for people to be someone or something that they are not in real life.
I think that the guys who pretend to be woman get some bizarre satisfaction from having straight men shower them with attention and praise; what I don't understand is how they are unable to realize that it's not real and has nothing to do with who they really are... maybe it's a game for people I'm not really sure.

I hope that it's not a game. A pathetic need for attention isn't quite as bad as a sociopathic desire to trick people for the fun of it. I can't help that suspect that no matter what excuse a person gives, there is some need to be desired that is being fulfilled by that deception. Luckily, most people are satisfied with this level of deception, and wouldn't go to the effort of creating total fabrications in order to receive attention.

The one thing that upsets me in regard to this subject more than almost anything else are the people who fake illness and impending death for attention. It boggles my mind that people can be so cavalier with the emotions of other people and manipulate them for attention. I've had to deal with the fallout of these scenarios a couple of times with members who get so caught up with the emotions of real compassion and then have to deal with their anger and sadness of being manipulated.

It boggles my mind, too! It's shocking the amount of effort that a person would go to in order to do it, how cruel it is!

I've almost reached a point where I can start recognizing the patterns, but I still give people the benefit of the doubt until they paint themselves into the corner with the lies.
It's always been easier for me to be myself here and in life, but I suppose for some people it's not.

The fact that you are so good about giving people the benefit of the doubt and that you haven't become so cynical is such an admirable trait to me. I'm sure that you've been privy to some very bad behavior. I think it's human nature when one has been burned a few times by deceitful people to become suspicious and it shows an exceptional good nature to resist that tendency.

 

[Bbucko]

I am so sorry that happened to you. I can imagine that Little Man felt a need for the kind of connection that you offered, but he didn't know how to get it in a healthy way. I'm sorry that he abused your trust by lying to you! It simply shows how resilient your compassion is that you continued to defend him after discovering his deception about his gender. Obviously, though, the lie that he was HIV positive went too far, way too far.

Thank you. I know that I posted a novel but there was no other way to adequately describe the depth of the deception and sense of betrayal when I discovered the entire truth.

The one thing that upsets me in regard to this subject more than almost anything else are the people who fake illness and impending death for attention. It boggles my mind that people can be so cavalier with the emotions of other people and manipulate them for attention. I've had to deal with the fallout of these scenarios a couple of times with members who get so caught up with the emotions of real compassion and then have to deal with their anger and sadness of being manipulated. I've almost reached a point where I can start recognizing the patterns, but I still give people the benefit of the doubt until they paint themselves into the corner with the lies.

It's always been easier for me to be myself here and in life, but I suppose for some people it's not.

Over at the HIV support message board we'd get a fair number of suicide threat threads; the first one horrified me and kept me at the edge of my seat for days, rattling me deeply. When I was finally able to get his phone number, we had a conversation that I cut off abruptly once he essentially admitted to having written it more out of desperation for attention than anything else.

After that, I refused to get myself involved in any other similar threads. At the peak of her fame, a spurned lover of Clara Bow's attempted suicide (which was not successful). When the press asked for a comment, she replied "Real men don't slash their wrists, they use pistols".

I hate to be that cynical, but unless it's someone with whom I'm emotionally attached (close friends, family and/or a partner), I no longer allow myself the luxury of involvement in such things.