Falling for people who don't want a relationship

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by smiffy, Feb 9, 2010.

  1. smiffy

    smiffy Member

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    I've gone down this path before and you'd think this would be a red flag, but I always say "Might as well enjoy it while it lasts". I just met a guy and we have so much in common. We like the same music, in the same field, hold the same views on a wide range of things, and just get along great. We're both very attracted to each other physically. He told me he is not sure he wants to be in a relationship right now and I can respect that. However, I think I'm fallin in too deep...I think about him a lot and have to subdue myself a bit so that I don't push him away.

    Do you guys think I should fall back a bit, or play it by ear and hope that our chemistry brings upon a change of heart? As I said before, I've done this before and more often than not in ends before anything serious develops. Its easier said than done though, I don't meet genuine guys often so its difficult. In this situation, I always feel like I will regret it even more if I don't try. Any advice?
     
  2. invisibleman

    Gold Member

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    Falling for people who don't want a relationship



    Well, if he is uncertain about being in a relationship...have you asked him why does he feel that way. What would make him feel certain?

    What is it you want out of it? What does he want out of it? He may want entirely different things. You may want different things...in spite of the both of you having shared commonalities...shared affinities and intimacies.

    If you both value each other's friendship, I think that you both have to be able to communicate the good and the bad. You have to really do it.

    People can change over time. And the relationship may not serve each other anymore.


     
  3. dibo

    dibo New Member

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    dont be afraid to speak ur heart n mind ..u never know if the whole "im not looking for a serious relationship" is just a act like i put on some time..
     
  4. rbkwp

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    Sounds like you have it under control and doing the best you can matey
    Cant really see any solution myself apart from the usual persevere and
    hope for the best.
    I geuss if you have just met him, there will be a need for you to try
    at least huh?
    If i can relate my own current situation
    I assume i am much older than you, but a similar scenario
    I would be the person who 'does not want a relationship' -period- and
    tell ya what
    borders on sheer stubborness and downright .. dont tread too cloesly
    .. or else..
    So your right i think tread respectfully and warily
    Overall i would suggest to ease back .. if its going to happen it may
    take quite a while.
    Respect the guy his space, and the friendship at least will remain i geuss.
    Best to you
    enz
     
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