Falling for Someone ONLINE.

DC_DEEP

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I met my partner first in person, but fell in love with him online.

He was doing a presentation for a club some of my friends belonged to. They dragged me along (I was being anti-social and hating men at the time, due to having dated several real losers...)

I saw his presentation, was introduced to him and shook his hand, and he left. But I found him very interesting, and had some follow-up questions about his presentation. My friends gave me his email address. Over the course of about 4 months, we corresponded daily, then he asked me for my phone number. With the exception of the 3 weeks he spent in China on business, we have not missed a single day of talking since then (the first call was in May of 2001).

We are still together, and very happy. He is a brilliant man, and we never run out of things to talk about - mostly politics, music, chemistry, physics, pharmaceutics, botany/horticulture, BdSm, and sociology.

It was a very brief and chance introduction, but yes, we fell in love online, even though I was looking for reasons NOT to fall in love. I think that possibly, the ones that really don't work out tend to be in cases where someone is LOOKING for a partner, and most likely overlook some of the warning signs. I looked for the signs and couldn't find them. Dammit.
 

No_Strings

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I was reading through old threads (as I often do, and suggest others do if they're tired of the same old regurgitated 'shit' that keeps coming up) and saw this one; it naturally caught my eye as it's an issue I'm experiencing right this moment.

So excuse the bump and my possibly now-redundant, long-winded piece to add to this thread.

I wondered if anyone has had the pleasure of falling for another person on the internet?

I know it is quite possible to develop Friendships and such here, but how many of you have fallen for another on this site (or others?)

Indeed I have, a very well-loved female on this site, too.

How did it work out?

We both noticed each other very early on. Flirtation became chat. Chat became talk. Talk become conversation. One day I decided to send her a message really asking about her; who she was, what she thought and how she lives, as I genuinely wanted to know about her as she became a real friend of mine - I was lucky enough to illicit a long response and wheels began turning way back in early July. Friendship developed and blossomed. We would trade PMs the length of which had to be split into 2, sometimes 3 different messages, several times daily.
We covered a lot of ground that month and became quite close, and towards the start of August I learnt that her birthday was at the end of September; I cared for her as a friend so much that I decided I would try and fly over there to meet her on her birthday, so I messaged snoozan and began planning things.

Merc and I began craving some more 'real-time' interaction, because although our LPSG PMs were long and fruitful, as friends we needed more direct interaction. So a week or so into August, I got on Yahoo and we chatted all night, enjoying each others company as much as we thought we would. That very first night chatting on Yahoo I professed my love for her and after what seemed like an age of nervous, anxiety-filled waiting, she revealed mutual feelings for me.
I couldn't keep the secret by then and I blurted out my plans to see her just under 2 months from then - there were tears from both sides as we realised that we'd both harboured these feelings for one another for sometime, that night was simply when we first admitted it to ourselves.
Things moved on, plans were concocted, webcams were used and phonecalls made almost every night.
Feelings have only gotten stronger the more we learn about each other.

Did you meet up?

We've met up once so far, as aforementioned I flew over for her birthday at the end of September and stayed for a little under 2 weeks. Obviously wiht it being a new relationship adn the first time we'd met in person there were many thrills and a lot of excitement, but we also tried to stay grounded.
We tried to lvie as 'normally' as possible, still cooking, cleaning, doing chores - almost practicing what it would be like to live together on a daily basis.
Plans are in motion for her to come and visit me next time, where we will likely extend the same ideas and way of living together. We're both very excited but that doesn't stop us being smart and cautious.

Did it last?

It has done so far. :biggrin1:

If there was distance, how did you cope?

Not very well at times, but we do what must be done. I'll answer this question again when I manage to get a visa. :tongue:

Now when I chat with someone online for dating purposes, I take whatever they say with a grain of salt until after i've met them and spent considerable time with them, otherwise I think it's impossible to really know someone.

Times - and people - can change sweetie; we're both living proof of that.

I feel like people who still think of meeting friends/lovers/significant others on the internet is weird, strange, pathetic, desperate, unnatural, creepy or for other reasons a bad idea are seriously behind the times.

I confess that when I was younger I used to have a similar train of thought regarding 'internet dating' - thank fully I matured and grew and realised such opinions are pretty ignorant and unnecessary. I'm sometimes afraid of those reactions from other people I care about, but have yet to encounter any which is a pleasant surprise.

On the other hand, talking with someone in depth as you can do online can help you to learn some more significant things more quickly than you would through an "old-school" in-person dating process.

Much more quickly, I agree. When online, a chat is the purpose and activity, whereas offline chat is almost supplimnntary to the activity. Plus, of course, 'dates' are a daily practice. :tongue:

An online buddy can very much seem to be worth your time to the point that you invest in them emotionally. But I think its extra easy when chatting online to make someone out to be the person you want them to be. Your mind fills in the blank spaces with your hopes and fantasies. And of course the danger of that is you can learn that you have fooled yourself, and that the interaction wasn't worth your time at all.

I think half the battle is being aware of that fact. If both aprties realise this risk, then that situation will never arise. Though one might say that you can never be sure that the object of your desires does know this or is telling the truth about knowing it. But whaddya gonna do?

Now the BIG question for people who it worked for:

Did you exchange any sort of nude pictures before you actually met?

Well I met her through LPSG.org, so through a variety of pictures we'd basically seen each other nude. That doesn't mean there weren't plenty of nice surprises and discoveries when we met and explored, and touch is a much more important sense than sight, in my opinion.
Admittedly her pictures are what first sparked my interest when I was very new to this site, but her posts are what really grabbed my attention, her personality is what kept it and her soul is what I fell in love with.


mercurialbliss is my best friend and whatever turns our relationship does or doesn't take, that love and friendship will always be there. I cannot imagine my life if this hadn't happened. :redface: