Falling in love too easily?

fored

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No, love is not the right word.

I find myself falling for just about any beautiful girl who gives me the slightest bit of attention. Well, not really. It's more of imagine a future with her as my wife kind of thing. Over the years my view of what is suitable for me has gotten narrower and narrower but when I do meet a girl who is beautiful I'm like ok maybe she can be my wife.

Am I a male sloot? wutdo?
 

crazyforthickness

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I think you're mistaking love for lust. Don't settle for someone and assume that she should be your wife. It took me 8 years to become my husbands wife. You should want your wife to be your best friend. A best friend doesn't happen overnight.
 

molotovmuffin

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I don't even think it's lust. I think you're in love with being in love. And nothing beats the feeling of a new love. Enjoy it when it happens.
 

Betty_Cocker

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More like physical attraction, is my guess....

crazyforthickness is right... your wife should be your best friend and that doesn't happen overnight. But ... it starts with an attraction (perhaps it is physical, perhaps it is emotional, perhaps it is mental, but there must be some chemistry going on somewhere.)

Remember, the physical attraction may wane over the years and you must have something to fall back on when and if that does... the friendship (even in the bad times) should be what pulls the two of you together.

Now, go out there and start making friends. :smile:

(this post from someone who married her Best Friend after 5 yrs. of dating, and still going strong 31 yrs. later. I have friends, but none like him, even in the tough times.)
 

fored

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I think the truth is that I just want someone I can reveal myself to without keeping up a facade of a man with no weaknesses or complaints. But I know too well that for many girls once they see the sensitive side of you they think you're weak.
 

Betty_Cocker

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I think the truth is that I just want someone I can reveal myself to without keeping up a facade of a man with no weaknesses or complaints. But I know too well that for many girls once they see the sensitive side of you they think you're weak.

That would only apply to "perfect" girls who (think they) have all their shit together.....which IMO really don't exist.

Sensitivity, in my mind, does not equal weakness. I figure a weak person is one who cannot stand his ground on his opinion and one who is a pushover for every little thing. I love a sensitive guy... and one who can romance me and share his feelings with me.

Be who you are and true to yourself. Love your friends (male and female) for their friendship and quit trying to find a "life partner" in every girl you meet. She will come along when the time is right.

At 22, I doubt seriously if a hella lot of folks really have their shit together. I married at 22 and was rather mature, but realize now that even thought I thought had it together.... I really didn't. Hindsight is great for self-discovery.
 

Mercurygirl

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It's low self-esteem. You settle for any cute face that smiles at you because you have no way of gauging your own worth. You then play out this fantasy every time because it's comforting and all you've ever known. It's a form of escapism. Women can easily manipulate you to the point of you being a sucker and a emotional tampon. But you continue to go through this emotional revolving door and don't know how to stop because you're broken inside. You were made broken early in your life by those entrusted to provide love. Somehow this got twisted in how you see love, feel about yourself in relation to it, and it's reflected in this warped behavior.

Just a few years ago I learned that there were guys you could totally manipulate because they had such low self-esteem. There was a power trip involved in giving them a little attention and making them ga-ga for you. I'm not proud of the fact that I played a few to get what I wanted but then grew out of that phase and started feeling sorry for them.

Go talk to a professional. They can help you and you'll be happier for it. You need to be given the proper emotional and intellectual tools to break this cycle. Otherwise you'll just be a doormat for every pretty face. That's no way to go through life.
 

fored

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It's low self-esteem. You settle for any cute face that smiles at you because you have no way of gauging your own worth. You then play out this fantasy every time because it's comforting and all you've ever known. It's a form of escapism. Women can easily manipulate you to the point of you being a sucker and a emotional tampon. But you continue to go through this emotional revolving door and don't know how to stop because you're broken inside. You were made broken early in your life by those entrusted to provide love. Somehow this got twisted in how you see love, feel about yourself in relation to it, and it's reflected in this warped behavior.

Just a few years ago I learned that there were guys you could totally manipulate because they had such low self-esteem. There was a power trip involved in giving them a little attention and making them ga-ga for you. I'm not proud of the fact that I played a few to get what I wanted but then grew out of that phase and started feeling sorry for them.

Go talk to a professional. They can help you and you'll be happier for it. You need to be given the proper emotional and intellectual tools to break this cycle. Otherwise you'll just be a doormat for every pretty face. That's no way to go through life.

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