Falling in Love with a Straight Guy

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by DarkAuron, Apr 28, 2007.

  1. DarkAuron

    DarkAuron New Member

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    Who's been through this and what did you do? I've noticed a lot of straight guy related threads, so I thought I'd ask.
     
  2. D_Lee_Iacuckold

    D_Lee_Iacuckold New Member

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    i decided to leave him behind, not really knowing if he felt the same way. i thought it better not to know. i was terrified, thinking i might hurt myself down the line, but i hurt myself anyway. maybe the biggest regret of my life. but ive moved on.
     
  3. CUBE

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    In college, my best friend, he was the greatest. I just loved him so much and he really loved me too. The pain was unbearable. We cried together a few times becasue he actually really wanted to be there for me and of course I did not want him to be anyone other than himeself. I think we couldn't understand that really we became each others family and had no way to express that to the other. We still chat or see each other once a year. I know to keep my exposure down. I am fine now but actually found the better loves in my life were guys I was not crazy in love with...but felt a quiet deep love for. Some times I think it was all just so wasted time...yet I couldn't help myself. I swear he had almost a chemeical reaction on me...and just the most beautiful body. He looked like Dermont Malroney. It was kind of funny though...everyone new I was gay...everyone new he was straight...but know one could figure out our relationship. We actually thought that was great. He never cared that anyone thought we might be fucking...he had no bigotry in him and thought it was never a put down or un masculine...just another reason I guess I loved him.
     
  4. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    The only straight man I ever fell in love with was myself.
     
  5. fratpack

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    My best friend of I can't even think of how many years and I love each other...he is totally straight and I am totally gay...we have never had sex and never will. But we have this incredible bond between that I can never see being broken. He is there for me and vice versa. I tell him everything and I mean everything and he does the same...there are no secrets between us. I am very happy in relationship with Michael and he is happily married with three kids. We constantly talk over the phone, text each other every day, vacation with each other and have no hesitation hugging and kissing each other when we get together (on the cheek).
    How can I explain this, I can't. I just know that he is an awesome and inspiring human being whom I am proud to call my best friend. And no, my boyfriend is not jealous, he gets a kick out of it.
     
  6. D_Fluoridia Bidet

    D_Fluoridia Bidet New Member

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    You always say something like dude it's fucking hilarious as hell
    I just had a feelin u would say something drastic ^_^
     
  7. Anythinggoes

    Anythinggoes New Member

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    I guess I have an experience that fits into this category and I wouldnt mind sharing/getting feedback on. Just this past summer I met a guy whom I found do be very much like myself, early to mid 20's, straight, into sports, drinking, women...etc. We hit it off right away and well there was alot more between us. We had this crazy chemistry and we both knew it right off the bat. Now you have to understand that A) I had never said I love you to any of my girlfriends before..and B) I consider myself straight (though I must admit I had thought a bit about what it might be like to experiment with a guy.).....This guy and I started fooling around a bit and before you knew it, within the first three days we were inseperable...we'd text eachother all day long...phone 3-4x's a day and quickly began sneaking off in random places to be with eachother, whether it be in our cars parked under a bridge...or in my room quickly before my roomate got home from work or while he was out of town. We couldnt stay away from eachother. One night, the weekend of the first week we knew eachother, we met up at the beach. We parked our cars and started walking and talking along the beach.....we talked about how strongly we already felt about eachother, and how crazy it was that we were both guys. We both seriously wished the other were a girl, so that everything would be perfect in our straight worlds. We wanted eachother to know each of our families and friends, but didnt know how we could or if we would ever tell anyone about what we felt for eachother. We ended up laying with eachother in a sand dune away from where any beach night passerby might see us, and just layed in eachothers arms. That moment I felt love. And I told him that. He quickly reciprocated. I loved him and he did I. It was crazy. We had this plan to introduce eachother to eachothers friends as being buddies we had known back in the day from college that we just found out lived in the same town. That way we didnt have to sneak off as much and could spend more time hanging out, getting to know eachother, and eachothers friends. Nobody had the slightest clue that we were secretly in love. At times it was pretty funny, how a bunch of us guys...now all friends would be talking about women and who/how we had fucked them....whistling at girls in bars...etc. All while sneaking a quick cop as we passed by eachother, or a sly look secretly saying "I love you and want you right now."....Having beers and wings joking with buddies, all the while our legs were rubbing against eachother. I swear we had almost gotten caught fucking around several times, but each time managed to evade it. This went on all summer long...It was great, amazing...and I fell deeply in love with him. I wanted a life with him but didnt know how it could ever be, because I also wanted kids...a family...and i did like women....but I loved him. And he also wanted the same things and felt very much the same way. I found out that there was one difference though one weekend when we went away together, just the two of us in a hotel in a city on the beach. We wanted to get away and just be with eachother...so we did...we'd fool around while in the hotel room, but when we went out to dinner and the bars, we were our straight normal real world selves. He'd flirt with the woman bartendar and i'd be on the dance floor dancing with a random girl...But we always would end up with eachother in bed at the hotel. So the conversation once again came up, as it always had..."how could we ever make this really work?"...I didnt know but all i knew at that moment was I loved him and wanted him in my life for as long as i lived. He said he felt the same though he had his own suggestion. He thought we should find ourselves women, marry them and have our own families....all the while remaining best friends and well...secret lovers. I couldnt fathom that. I didnt want anyone else to have him, even though I wanted all the things he too wanted from a straight life i couldnt wrap my brain around sharing him and watching him kiss anyone else. This began to plant a seed that grew into a huge rift. We knew eachothers circle of friends now and pretty much were apart of eaches. Now though, when we would go out with eachother and our friends to the bars...he would be hitting on and kissing other girls, right in my presence...I couldnt let it upset me at the moment they were happening so I would retaliate and do the same, but later in the night would get him alone and tell him how it bothered me....He would reassure me that it was just for show, and he cared about me and wasnt doing anything with them. That scenerio soon became all too familiar, and came to an even worse point. I would, as i normally had...crash at his and his roomates house after a long night of drinking and partying at the bar and I would find him in his room with the door shut fooling around with some chic. I was heart broken....I'd confront him and we would cry together on many occasions, until he finally began to say I and him wouldnt work....even after he said this we continued to fool around and try to make things happen...but we only drifted further apart unwillingly on my part for sure. I caught him kissing and fooling around with many girls...him knowing it was in my presence the whole time. Life had finally sunk to its lowest....I was in love with someone I could not have...and I knew inside that he also loved me. The only thing I could do to keep sane was dissappear from him. Which i did. However we still share alot of the same friends and occasionally run into eachother.....I treat him cordially and have talked myself into not allowing us to mess around with eachother even though on rare occasion he would try. Because now, it did not feel like love, but more of just a wham bam, im gone thing. The heart of the relationship had gone...and now i was gone from it as well. This all happend over the course of a year....I now no longer lay awake at night wishing we were toghether, loving him in my thoughts, or thinking of ways to be with him....though i think i still may have feelings that I have supressed. As i said I still run into him through our friends, but do my best to avoid that scenerio when at all possible. And I find myself more and more not like the person he has become....he now goes out drinking and partying all the time, hooking up with any and every girl he can.
     
  8. Chuck64

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    I met an absolutely amazing straight guy. He teases/flirts with all the gay guys in our social group. He's even provided a few of us with home-made solo amatuer porn. At first, I thought there was more to the story, but he really is straight. He just enjoys the attention. Anyway. :rolleyes:

    I've never had a deeper friendship with a straight guy. It's not love - at least not the kind that goes beyond friendship. I know he feels the same way.
     
  9. Ethyl

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    Guilty. More than once.

    :eek:
     
  10. yhtang

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    It is unfortunate that, due to circumstances, you and your friend could not come together.

    Perhaps it is better to know and accept this chasm between the two of you earlier than later. I had a similar experience; two years later, I eventually moved on. I hope you need less time to accept the fact that is it over. May you find the right person the next time around.

    Best of luck to you.
     
  11. invisibleman

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    Are you guys still together, huh? :smile:
     
  12. Industrialsize

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I've fallen in LUST with str8 men........but not love, i ain't stupid
     
  13. invisibleman

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    I did when I was a teenager. But I didn't know any better. When you get a lot of broken hearts from doing that sort of thing-- you hopefully learn to stop and make better choices in giving your heart to those who actually appreciate it.

    I don't need a straight man. Just give me the one gay man or bisexual guy that is into me as a person and the world will breathe a little easier.
     
  14. feznavj29

    feznavj29 New Member

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    I fell hard for my old roomate. He invited me to move in after meeting only a couple times and went out of his way to make me feel at home. At first I thought he was everything I wanted to be: smart, good looking, athletic, funny, popular. After a while, I realized that there was something more than just admiration, but a genuine interest in him. He had a way of making me feel like I actually mattered. Whenever I put myself down, he was right there to feed me compliments and boost my ego. He was the only one of my roomates that know I'm gay and he was so understanding and cool about it. It became kind of like an inside joke, where the other roomates were clueless, we'd laugh like crazy. I sometimes dreamed that in the middle of the night, he'd come in my room and tell me he was in love with me and we'd start this passionate affair, but he is literally the straightest guy I've ever met. He's completely open minded and if he were interested, I've no doubt that he'd experiment with another guy, but he's only ever had an interest in women. It got hard to deal with it, especially when he started going out more often and started bringing girls home. He had finally been accepted to med-school, so he was ready to break out of his shell again. We both moved out of the house last spring. I moved back home with my family and he moved back to Utah for med-school. I still talk to him once in a while, but not as often as I'd like. I still consider him one of the best friends I've ever had and I know I wouldn't be the person I am today had I not met him.
     
  15. avalonjim

    avalonjim Member

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    Jesus... Anythingoes Did you channel my first BF? I was so in love with him. I probably still am on so many levels. That sound like the 4 months we were together when I was 24. He is married and has kids now. He always said you love the person not the gender.
     
  16. DarkAuron

    DarkAuron New Member

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    Anythinggoes: I'm going something pretty similar at the moment. Even though my mother, my sister, and a great portion of my friends are convinced he's not straight, I've come to accept that my best friend will always be straight and out of my reach, so I'm trying to move on in my life without him. I find it nearly impossible to be around him at all without having attached feelings, so I'm thinking about going on in my life after I graduate without him as a friend. It hurts to think about it, but I need to do what's best for me.
     
  17. crescendo69

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    I sometimes wonder if I and others here tend to seek the unattainable. I have wanted bondings with guys that are straight, alcoholic, too young, or simply not into long-term relationships. And one was a closetted college track athelete. Perhaps we tend to pass up opportunities that are too easy for us, maybe as a way of preventing actual commitment to another, but laying the blame on the other guy's hangups and not on our own.

    But, as I am not a licensed therapist/psychologist/counselor I don't claim to know the reasons we seek this self-abuse.
     
  18. LemacST

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    I am almost positive one of my best friends is gay. I became friends with him in high school but we didn't really bond until college. Every single guy from his group of friends in high school ended up coming out of the closet, or they're very blatantly gay and you can just tell. My friend also makes a lot comments about guys and would get jelous when girls give me a lot of attention and say very suggestive things(although this might just be more low self-esteem on his part). Early in our friendship he was the typical "I HATE FAGGOTS" kind of guy, he would always point out gay people and say terrible things about them, claim that gays are the "downfall of America", etc. If anyone gave him the slightest impression that they might be gay, he would completely obsess about it. Lastly, if I accidently kicked his foot or something underneath a table or something, he would give me a strange look every single time and be like "uhh...". Can someone explain what this means? I may be wrong, but I think this is what some gay guys do to communicate secretly, play footsie or something (LOL). Also once when I was driving I asked him if he could light my cigarette, which he did, but while doing it he said "OMG THIS IS SO GAY" like it was a huge deal. He has calmed down with his "fag-bashing" and strong homophobia since, but as you can probably infer already he is almost definitely gay, or bisexual maybe. He is an awesome friend but sometimes I wish he would just stop lying to himself about it. I'm straight but I've told him several times (not in a confronting way) that I'm fine with gay people and I wouldn't change my feelings towards someone if I found out they were (because obviously that's how it should be). He has calmed down since. The only thing that DOES make me feel kind of weird but I would never tell him is that he basically had a crush on me when I first met him. I know this because in high school we worked together and whenever we'd be in solicitated places he would indirectly try to grope me, LOL. It was pretty weird, but whatever. That was years ago and I think once he got to know me better he just started seeing me as a friend and not in that way, lmao.
     
  19. Lordpendragon

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    I can love a man, but I can't be in love with a man like I can a woman - if that makes sense. I imagine many str8 guys would be the same.
     
  20. bluekarma

    bluekarma Well-Known Member

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    So appropriate:wink: :tongue: :biggrin1:

    This is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. What a heart wrenching experience. So sad. I hope you find your true love one day....I really do.
     
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