Falling In Love With Straight Guy

Wigan_UK

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Why do we do this?

I’m head over heels and he has no idea but I can’t stop thinking about him. In fact it actually hurts to think of him being at home with his girl. How do we move on?
 

Cappy_Dick

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It certainly isn't easy, but you need to find a way to stop obsessing and move on. I know from experience. I fell head over heels for a friend who was a card carrying lesbian. I still tried to woo her, even though I knew she'd never be my girlfriend, no less anything more. Once I admitted this to myself, it made it a little easier to start moving on. I found someone more willing and got on with my life. I pretty much got over her. I even forgot about her for a long time. But, in recent years, we cross paths occasionally. When we do, I can't help but wonder if she has any interest in men. But, reality sets in quickly. I'm a pretty good looking guy for my age. (So I have been told). She knows I'm packing and would do her in a minute if she offered. But, she never does. It's not going to happen, so I don't dwell on the impossible. Sounds like your situation is pretty impossible. The best way to get past it is to find someone that is possible.

xx
 
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halcyondays

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We can't help falling in love or with whom. There's nothing worse than unrequited love. Hurts like hell. Funny that we have drugs for other things that hurt like pain and depression but not for grief. The only prescription for grief is to grieve. Feel it all and let it go. Breathe.

It's not much of a consolation but at least you know you have a heart. :heart:
 

MondaySucks

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Yeah I don't know how to move on either. I become obsessed with a guy real quick if I like his personality or his voice. From then on, I can't stop thinking about him and I wish I could be the one they choose over their girls. But can't getting what you can't have makes it all the more desirable.

P.s. yeah I'm still obsessed over a guy I just met a year ago after he and I only shook hands. I'm pathetic I know. But I want him so bad. ugh. Maybe your chances of getting over him is better than mine.
 
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StaringIsCaring

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I think once a good looking man starts touching my shoulders or back I am a goner and will think about it forever. Just really nice to have that connection.

But I have gotten better after seeing them as a friend after the initial infatuation.

But being gay can be weird and guys will test boundaries in stupid ways. In boarding school guys at first refused to shower with me since I was gay and later got me to jack off against a wall or I wouldn’t get my towel back, and one got me to suck his dick.

But important to have strong mental boundaries even though straight guys can be stupid and curious.
 

Beanie

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Why do we do this?

I’m head over heels and he has no idea but I can’t stop thinking about him. In fact it actually hurts to think of him being at home with his girl. How do we move on?
Time, that it. Just keep telling yourself it will never happen because trust me, no matter what porn or anyone else tells you, they won’t.

I think it’s just a right of passage for a lot of gay guys. Doesn’t make it any easier but it will make you stronger in the future with relationships.
 

wsnki07

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Unrequited love sucks but I also feel we've been conditioned to put straight males on a higher pedestal in our minds than they may deserve which makes it worse for our mental health.

The mind can definitely play tricks on us if we're not careful, especially if we're romanticizing a fantasy. I've done it too so I know how it feels.

This is not to take away from your crush. I'm sure there are plenty of traits about him that you like in a guy. Focus on the TRAITS, not the guy himself. And look for those traits in men who can reciprocate those interest back.

Hope this helps
 

headbang8

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Enjoy the fantasy. And then, redouble your efforts to find joy in reality.

Unrequited love is simply a fact of human emotional life. Embrace it. And deal with it in the way you’d deal with unrequited love from a gay man you’d admired. By moving on.

Don’t stop crushing on guys, even if unrequited love is painful. Just based on probabilities, human attraction is pretty hit-and-miss. Most of Cupid’s arrows are duds. Kiss more frogs.

One of these days, your crush will crush back. And it will be worth it.

But if you’re ONLY crushing on straight guys....well, you're just not trying hard enough. There are plenty of gay fish in the sea.

Don’t mean to bust your chops, but as @wsnki07 hinted, if you find you’re only attracted to straight guys, you might have a little internalized homophobia going on. No biggie. We’ve all been there. But the issue might be worth unpacking with a friend, a therapist, or a peer support group..

Best of luck to you in affairs of the heart, @billy_barlow.
 
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Even straight men go through this with a lady we may like but can't have.