Family Gatherings

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by steve319, Jul 4, 2005.

  1. steve319

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    (Brace yourself; it's a long one :)--wait, isn't that what you extremely well-endowed guys get to say?)

    Well, as is the case with most of you “yanks” I hope, I have survived the dreaded holiday weekend family cookout. I’m chilling here at home now, munching on blueberries, burning some resin incense, and thinking about my screwy but wonderful family.

    These events are usually a coin toss: maybe fine, maybe a disaster, mostly dependent on the level of behind-the-scenes drama occurring at the time. There’s usually some unspoken crisis or two that ends up being expressed in some counterproductive and frustrating way. The good news is that only one of my three brothers was drunk when he arrived, and, to be honest, it almost doesn’t count with Dan anymore because I’m not sure I remember what he’s like sober. The other two were straight as far as I could tell when they got there—Bob ended up making a lot of trips out to his truck for not-so-mysterious reasons most of the afternoon (much to his wife's visible yet impotent chagrin) and was way around the bend by the time everyone else had eaten. He spent the rest of the evening trying to teach is 18 month old grandson to say “hooter.” (You think I could make this stuff up? ;)) I fear that this marriage (his fifth) isn’t to last much longer.

    My sister, bless her poor, nutty heart, was just as pitiful as ever. So desperately lonely and broken of spirit since her abusive husband died two years ago, she’s living in her own insular world. My oldest brother was so touchy and angry that no topic of conversation was safe (but at least he was sober—maybe that’s why he was so pissed). But that’s all pretty much the norm with this crowd. They are all much older than I am and way beyond my reach in most ways.

    The silent drama this time centered on my niece (same age as me, more like a sister) who just discovered that she’s pregnant, a secret to which only her 10 year old son and I are privy. It’s a sad situation and a bomb waiting to explode. She’ll be in for a massive load of judgment from the older, traditional-values family members when the news gets out because she’s unmarried and struggling financially anyway. Bless her heart; she already reaps a bitter harvest because she learned the lessons of the sexual revolution—at least some of them. Although she tells me this was an accidental conception, I think, deep down, she hopes that this will cement her current boyfriend to her :eyes: (making one mistake into two?). So she arranged to be unable to stay for the cookout, bringing her son and then vanishing. Her brother, also more like a peer to me than a nephew, was a no-show as well, indulging in the solitary drinking that he blames on his soul-killing job and the fact that his wife left him and his desperate-for-attention 12 year old son (who was at the cookout).

    I focused my attention on the boys and on my elderly parents. Part of the good news is that, at their age, they are mostly oblivious to the uglier details. It was also good that most of the drunken, depressed, or guilty crowd left before we started with the fireworks. Incendiary devices and this crowd shouldn’t mix when things swing this far out of control. :eek:

    Now don’t get me wrong. I love my family and am thankful that they really are good-hearted, if troubled, people. They love their children and one another (if they can't quite manage to love themselves) and go out of their way to help others. They tolerate and even love me even though I track a different orbit for the most part. Plus, both of my parents are still alive, and that’s a good thing.

    So, anyway, you might be thinking, “Put it into a blog so I can ignore it, jerk!” (and, really, who could blame you?), but I have finally arrived at a point here. It’s family. How involved are you with your kin? How harrowing are your holiday get-togethers? What is your role in the dynamic? Are you the calm in the midst of the storm or are you the dervish spinning out of control? And, just to make it tangentially related to the forum, are your attitudes toward sexual matters in line with the crowd?

    (Congratulate yourself if you read to the end of that one! I'll share my blueberries with you. :D )
     
  2. Pye

    Pye
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    I read it to the end-- now where is my share of Blueberries?

    Actually-- my family gets together every Sunday... we keep the family fights down to a minimum as my father is in poor health and our mother died last year after a 6 month battle with cancer. It's tough to be back in the house and see everything around that makes us miss her so much...I return to my home crying almost everytime.

    It's made us all much closer and although at times I'd like to smash in a few headsand it can be very stressful-- they're MY family-- and shhh I love em all!
     
  3. KinkGuy

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    A family gathering for me, is like walking through the gates of hell. You can't hear a sound over the bible thumping! I have eliminated virtually all contact with my family, except my Mother. She gets it...and me. In the 8+ years my partner and I have been together, there has yet to be one single invitation to a wedding, party, dinner or funeral, that included him. Just that one reason alone, justifies my decision to avoid them. The last wedding invitation was addressed to "me" and didn't even include the "and guest" line. I did not attend.

    But since being gay is a conscience decision in allegiance with Satan and I am condemned to eternity in hell, I guess we don't have all that much to say to each other.

    Hate the sin, love the sinner ya'll.
     
  4. Pye

    Pye
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    I have big problems with organized religions...they seem to teach people hate more than acceptance

    Now everyone knows that you are partnered and just don't accept it is being RUDE
     
  5. KinkGuy

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    "Rude" doesn't even begin to describe their actions. They have gone so far as to try and turn my own mother against me, explaining that it was her fault I was a homo cursed to eternal damnation. Fun bunch, my family. You can't swing a dead cat and not hit a preacher.
     
  6. Pye

    Pye
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    "Rude" doesn't even begin to describe their actions. They have gone so far as to try and turn my own mother against me, explaining that it was her fault I was a homo cursed to eternal damnation. Fun bunch, my family. You can't swing a dead cat and not hit a preacher.
    [post=326719]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]


    and who says you SHOULDN'T?
    a good dead cat upside the head could be a good thing-- but then you might be branded as a gay WITCH
     
  7. KinkGuy

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    Because that wouldn't be kind to the cat.
     
  8. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I've noticed, sadly, that over the last few years my family gatherings have become splintered.

    Being the Godfather figure (confessor/shoulder to cry on/advisor,) I'm invited to all of the backyard babels. It helps that I'm not a carrier of tales and can keep a secret tighter than Fort Knox's deepest vault.

    But it hurts me that where there was once love, sharing and loyalty there is now so much competition, jealousy and envy.

    I like a little sugar and cream on my blueberries.
     
  9. oldbodybuilder2004

    oldbodybuilder2004 New Member

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    HOw sad!! All of you people have family so what ar you bitching about. My family is mostly deceased. And how i miss them.Just a thought on our countrys birthday. I have spent the day alone and watching tv.

    HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY
     
  10. madame_zora

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    Happily, Julianna came home today, but I'm not big on the holidays so any day she's around is a good day.

    My father left when I was 2 and I haven't seen him since. My search only turned up several birthdates, SS#s, and police records of domestic violence against my mother, she never told me herself. He was the alcoholic in the family, so he did leave me with that, thanks pop.

    Mom died when I was 24 and Julianna was 2. She left me with an 11 yr old half-sister who stopped speaking. I tried to step in to raise her, but we lost the ability to communicate several years ago, she is a very angry person and I just can't (or don't want to) continue letting her spout off at me for evey bad decision she's made. Mostly, I think she's just mad at me for mom being dead.

    My step-dad is an ass ans I never have to see him again, so that's a relief.

    To me, family is whomever you want it to be, and mine changes all the time. I'm happy as long as I'm spending my time where I want to be, with whom I want to share that time. You're born into your biological family, but who you actually love enough to spend your time with is a matter of choice.
     
  11. Lex

    Lex
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    My family gatherings are much the same. And Kink, I'm afraid that if I were to come out to my family--much of their reactiohn would be similar. I usually arrive late and leave early. those "great American get-togethers" are SO overrated!
     
  12. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Heh Everyone!

    First and foremost, breathe! We all have family confusions, contusions, collusions, exclusions and refusions. Family is not for the weak at heart or stomach! They can make a perfectly self confident productive human being and within 10 seconds flat draw out all of the pent up bile and put it up for display. I know where fore I speak . I even wrote a poem about it a long time ago that I think is pretty appropos! Enjoy!

    Insanity is a relative thing

    They say for every family fight turned deadly
    At the Thanksgiving table there was
    A whole menu of dysfunction
    That no one knew about.
    Aren’t we merciless
    Diagnosing quirks that have taken
    A lifetime to cultivate
    We all have a Great Uncle Mojo
    Inconvenient at times when we want
    To pretend our name is Cleaver (without Eldridge)
    And we live on TV
    But who knows what lurks behind those pledge scented doors
    ‘Cause we all know by now that insanity is a relative thing.
     
  13. Rikter8

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    Now since my dad is gone, our family gatherings are rather odd for me.

    This 4th was just really boring. I was putting on my normal spread of pyrotechnics, (The illegal class B&C stuff, not the kids stuff), and It seemed that I was the only one enjoying it.

    The brother in law got bored, went in and started playing video games, my sister wanted to watch TV, and mom was just trying to be supportive...nobody wanted to enjoy the 4th.

    I was up in boring as hell northern michigan...and there was zero competition to fire back a return. The rain sat in around 10pm, so that put the kabash to any good shells or repeaters.

    Most holidays are the same now, where theyre really boring, as nobody wants to do much.

    Christmas has become the same, monotony <sp?>, decorate the houses, buy the gifts...bla bla bla.., and then go home feeling guilty of the food you ate.


    C
     
  14. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Corey, is that you??&#33;&#33;
     
  15. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    My family is great but have a small town mentality...I mean 10 family members came to visit last month for just a summer visit (none of my family lives in my city)...We are trying this thing as a family as not just to only visit during weddings/funerals, etc...This have should been great to me but I felt that I have nothing in common w/my family anymore...They seem to put me on a pedistel and I try to keep the fascade going for them...But it is like madame_zora said before - family is whomever you want it to be...I have been lucky to have some very loving and supporting friends who I feel closer to than my biological family...
     
  16. jwc1978

    jwc1978 New Member

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    Don&#39;t lump all the Christians into that group..... A person who is acting with Godly character would love you no matter what, regardless of what they thought about your actions.
     
  17. jimmyjoejeater

    jimmyjoejeater New Member

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    and who says you SHOULDN&#39;T?
    a good dead cat upside the head could be a good thing-- but then you might be branded as a gay WITCH
    [post=326720]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    Pye you are too damn funny&#33; But seriously, I read a book called fosilized customs that really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I won&#39;t go into it here because of obvious reasons but I will say this. Christianity isn&#39;t what a lot of people think it is.

    jimmy
     
  18. jimmyjoejeater

    jimmyjoejeater New Member

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    Wow&#33; I had no idea you were at our last thanksgiving dinner&#33; How did you get in? I thot cousin Larry was watching the door to make sure uncle Earnie didn&#39;t get in&#33;

    jimmy
     
  19. Rikter8

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    In the Flesh and Blood.

    Hopefully life is treating you well.

    C




    Corey, is that you??&#33;&#33;
    [post=326795]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]
     
  20. prepstudinsc

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    WELCOME BACK COREY&#33;
     
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