Farting

[Lordpendragon]

No attempt at any clever correlations here - just thought that we could share our common experience.

If my diet is good I tend to be loud, voluminous and inoffensive.

:smile:

Is it true that anal virgins have a higher pitch?

 

[roosevelt]

No Idea of the pitch change, not interested in finding out either...

I do know that WHAT I eat affects odor and volume, tomatoes for instance increase both substantially, as does cheese (though not other dairy products) so when I'm gonna spend a weekend in the woods with the guys, I'll eat things that'll give me gas... (Okay, maybe I'm a little evil:tongue: ) but otherwise I avoid 'em... as much as someone who loves tomatoes and cheese can... anyways.:wink:

 

[Pecker]

Love the fart.

Hate the skidmark.

 

[Pecker]

Here's a case of dueling farts:

http://www.filefactory.com/file/73139a/

 

[noface60]

Farting during sex must be really embarrasing (I've never farted during sex)especially if someone is going down on you... lol! I wonder how they'd respond. Has anyone had that happen to them? And by this I mean, has anyone ever been involved in a sexual situation were one of the parties farted?

 

[cklover]

Love the fart.

Hate the skidmark.

lol...and that STINK!

 

[Gillette]

Thank you, LP.

Just as I've been telling new members how enlightened this site is, you go and blow it out your arse.

Inoffensive to whom? Have you been polling people at random?

 

[roosevelt]

Inoffensive to whom? Have you been polling people at random?

Now that would be funny to watch :biggrin1:

 

[dolf250]

I believe that one of the best compliments I have been paid was when I let one rip in a friends van. We (myself included) found it offensive enough to evacuate. He looked at me and in a serious tone asked if I was aware that I had died a week ago... If only I could remember what I ate.

 

[SpeedoGuy]

Now that would be funny to watch :biggrin1:

Count me out of that poll.

Raisins does it to me. Badly.

Take a look at this:

http://www.onzin.nl/3991/video/pwep.mpeg

 

[Gillette]

Now that would be funny to watch :biggrin1:

Wouldn't it just.

For the record, that darling little kitty in my avatar produces fumes that could melt the paint off a gym locker. The little stinker has also become quite adept at the dutch oven technique as well.

Just goes to show you, big things really do come in small packages.

 

[Gisella]

:biggrin1:

The worse fart to me are the ones that are burpings that smells like farts...or the ones that are silent but keep getting stinker and are heavy in the air and do not go away..

The ones that stink but travels lighter and dissipate soon are not so bad, but the noise ones are very embarassing you think will be discret but it decides make a show...I learned a lot about farts with my older brother and cousins...

If I eat beans and eggs and cabbage and melons together...I'm not a sweet senhorita anymore... :biggrin1:

 

[Lordpendragon]

Thank you, LP.

Just as I've been telling new members how enlightened this site is, you go and blow it out your arse.

Inoffensive to whom? Have you been polling people at random?

There is, is there not, an element of relief, perhaps twofold, or is that twin fold, when a large one doesn't smell.

Follow through is the curse of the farting classes.

I was with an old lady recently who farted like a horse. I told her she should see the doctor. "There's nothing wrong with my digestion, sonny." "No, for your nose, madam."

 

[rawbone8]

Farting during sex must be really embarrasing (I've never farted during sex)especially if someone is going down on you... lol! I wonder how they'd respond. Has anyone had that happen to them? And by this I mean, has anyone ever been involved in a sexual situation were one of the parties farted?

There's a joke about a naive virgin guy (insert dumbass nationality or equivalent) who gets set up by his friends with a hooker who has a toxic colon full of gas. His big mistake was agreeing to the 69. She farts and apologises profusely but after three farts in his face he gets up and grabs his clothes — saying “Virgin or not, there's no way he's sticking around for 66 more of those!”

 

[Pecker]

My friends and I used to play 'fart out.' Three guys in the front seat of a car, three in the back, windows up, heater on full blast, and everybody farts.

Last one still in the car wins.

 

[jakeatolla]

My friends and I used to play 'fart out.' Three guys in the front seat of a car, three in the back, windows up, heater on full blast, and everybody farts.

Last one still in the car wins.

That explains a lot !!!:biggrin1:

 

[Lordpendragon]

That explains a lot !!!:biggrin1:

It's also why he drives a convertible. :smile:

 

[noface60]

My friends and I used to play 'fart out.' Three guys in the front seat of a car, three in the back, windows up, heater on full blast, and everybody farts.

Last one still in the car wins.

What a frightening game!

Sounds like some kinda torture!

 

[Hatched69]

I have reigned "King of Farts" in my family for 8 straight years. I have choked everyone out of the house after Thanksgiving dinner even with the fart fan on, blown my wife out of bed (recent episode concerning the CPAP machine STILL has me on the couch. See http://www.lpsg.org/et-cetera-et-cetera/34940-physicist-needed-2.html?highlight=CPAP for details), and completely obliterated (read: destroyed) a toilet. Not to mention the many times I've been stuck in the back seat of a car and nearly caused a wreck after a hefty dose of White Castles...:biggrin1:

No one that knows me even DARES challenge me!!:redface:

 

[davidjh7]

Have you ever considered leasing your ass to a natural gas company? Given that natural gas IS methane, after all, and if you are prodigious enough....heck, if nothing else, hook your butt up to the furnace---think of the money you'll save on winter heating bills!:biggrin1: