Fatherhood and manhood

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Cottonfield, Jan 9, 2006.

  1. Cottonfield

    Cottonfield New Member

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    This question is for everyone, though maybe the most complex answers will come from the gay members of this board…

    I have three children, all adults now, and I think a lot about what those kids have meant to me over the years and to my ever more complex understanding of what being a man involves. But I know some straight guys who don’t want children (not to mention guys who don’t even want a committed relationship), I know gay guys who do want children, I know guys who are afraid to have children, etc., etc. There are lots of permutations here.

    But I don’t think we’ve talked about this here on this forum, and there are an awful lot of interesting guys here whose opinions can make one reflect

    So my question is: How does fatherhood fit into your concept of masculinity or manhood?

    If you are young and single [gay or straight], or a bit older and attached but so far childless, or any other combination -- do you see yourself as wanting kids, siring kids, and parenting kids at some point in the future, or is fatherhood not something that you see as important to you, or to the full masculine experience? Is having a committed relationship with an S/O enough in itself, or for you, is having children something you’d really like as part of the experience of being a man? Will you feel you have missed something critical if it doesn’t happen? If you can’t have children in the usual way (both partners contributing DNA), either because of no partner, an infertile partner, being infertile yourself, or a same-sex partner, would you look to adoption or surrogacy in order to explore yourself as a father?

    Cottonfield
     
  2. B_Danceswithlamps

    B_Danceswithlamps New Member

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    I'm not ready for kids yet, financially or socially. But I want kids when that time comes. I'm not very far into my relationship with my g/f, but eventually, yes I want kids.

    I think childhood is a very big part of masculinity. The idea of the "man" is of a male figure who is strong but kind, strict but fair, loving but tough. The man is also supposed to protect the other figures in the family. The father is the "head" of the household, although there are just as many female heads. The father leads the family into danger, and brings them out again. (amost all of this can/does apply to the wife)
    I have always seen fatherhood as one of the most masculine of all roles. :D:D

    Just my .02
     
  3. B_caneadea

    B_caneadea New Member

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    This isn't a rant. It's just my opinion.
    Masculinity? I'm really puzzled as to what would be the connection between having kids and masculinity.
    And, I can't understand what seems to be an intense need for straight people to have kids.
    I have never felt like I wanted kids.
    I don't feel that I have missed out on anything.
    My relationship with my partner makes me incredibly happy. He has never mentioned anything about having kids. He's begging for a dog!
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  4. Chinese 9x6

    Chinese 9x6 New Member

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    I am a attached gay male being in a relationship with my partner for more than 13 years, soon be married as we are CANADIAN !!! We did thought of adopting kids, however, as the society nowadays gay couples are not 100% being welcome. We just don't want our adopted child facing more problems than he/she might encounter during his/her grow up years as being adopted, teenager and stuff like that. But, we both love children and there are many childs out there do need fatherly love.
     
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