Favorite "Family Guy" lines.

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by IntoxicatingToxin, Jun 30, 2009.

  1. IntoxicatingToxin

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    "Have you lost weight?"

    "No, it's still there, I'm just parting it on the side."

    What are YOUR favorite "Family Guy" lines?
     
  2. D_MisterBater

    D_MisterBater New Member

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    What the deuce?!
     
  3. crescendo69

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    Stewie (bashing homosexuality): "Ever read the bible? Leviticus 18:22!"

    Brian: "Stewie, you're judgementally quoting bible verses, and you don't even know how to read."

    Stewie: "Welcome to America, Brian!"
     
  4. scottbud

    scottbud Active Member

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    Lol

    Yeah I love that one too!
     
  5. Principessa

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    Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
    Stewie: What did you just say?
    Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
    Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.


    Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

    Stewie: [speaking to a Latina maid] So which of the Latin countries are you from: the one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?
     
  6. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Brian:"Hey, bartender, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?"
     
  7. hockeyguy741

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    I'd love to stay and chat but your a total bitch...

    Don't talk to your mother that way she's not an iron...

    You wanna know whats really amazing? I haven't brushed my teeth for three days and no one has said a thing...
     
  8. D_Martin van Burden

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    The Judge: Now can ya'll quit sayin' "Oh no!" 'cause every time you do that the fuckin' Kool Aid man's gonna come in here!

    Stewie: A bullet sounds the same in every fuckin' language, so stick a sock in it, you cow!

    Peter: Now, Meg, you're supposed to gain 150 pounds and write "Ugly Betty" fan-fiction.
    Meg: But, Dad!
     
  9. BobLeeSwagger

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    Lois: "That's why I went back to men."

    Meg: "ohhhhhkaaaayyyy" (leaves)

    Chris: (sliding over closer on the couch) "Go on...."
     
  10. OffTLeash

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    Peter-Your mom's just got enough tranquilizer in her to take down a bull elephant.

    Meg-Look a letter from dad! Dear meg, for the first three years of your life I thought you were a house cat.
     
  11. cjc3552

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    [picking up the phone] Hello, operator. Hello... Oh, God, that's right, you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes, [dialing number] 867-5309, yes, that's it. Wait, that's not it. Damn you Tommy Tutone! Huh, only one thing to do. 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...
     
  12. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Stewie: Knock knock.
    Brian: Who's there?
    Stewie: (whispers) Two friends building a house together.

    (ballroom dancing)
    Stewie: I love yo--
    Brian: ...what?!
    Stewie: Um. Olive juice!
    Brian: Olive juice?
    Stewie: Olive juice you too.
     
  13. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    (When Joe falls overboard)
    Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
    Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
    Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!


    Peter: Holy crip, he's a crapple!


    Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in...Game over.
     
  14. pornographicpoet

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    Peter (on a dating show): "I would eat you really fast before I got flaccid"

    Peter: Big Fat Pauly?
    Louie Anderson: I'm Louie Anderson

    Peter: You look like you have an honest face (to a mobster)
     
  15. D_kbkjbh

    D_kbkjbh New Member

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    Stewie: Forecast for tomorrow, a few sprinkles of genus with a chance of DOOM!

    Bookstore owner: We have the standard Everybody Poops, the Less popular nobody poops but you,

    Peter: Were catholic

    Bookstore owner: Oh then u need "You've been a naughty child and that's concentrated evil coming out the backside of you"
     
    #15 D_kbkjbh, Jul 1, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2009
  16. invisibleman

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    A brain damaged horse walks into Peter and Lois' bedroom while Peter and Lois are sleeping and starts licking Peter's naked butt...

    PETER (mutters in his sleep)
    Mmmmmm...what made you come around, Lois?
    Brain damaged horse still licking Peter's butt.
    PETER (still sleeping, continues... )
    Ahhh, I love you so much.
    I love you so much, Lois.
    LOIS(in her sleep)
    Mmmm... I love you too, Peter.

    (From FAMILY GUY Season 7, Episode 8 "FAMILY GAY")

     
  17. invisibleman

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    Brain damaged horse is licking CLEVELAND's bathwater.

    CLEVELAND: Ooh, that has all my dirt o'
    the day in it.
    That is so nasstee.
    Seth MacFarlane is the funniest motherfucker on the planet. FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD are addictive. I always find something funny in every show I watch on HULU.com.
     
  18. D_Tintagel_Demondong

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    Peter is giving Meg a make-over, but she's worried that it won't be successful and won't be attractive.

    Peter reassures her by saying, "Meg, after I'm done with you, you'll be beating off boys with both hands."

    While I'm here, this clip still sends me into hysterics:

    Family Guy - Bullfrog

     
    #18 D_Tintagel_Demondong, Jul 2, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2009
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