Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby. Stewie: What did you just say? Lois: Stewie, stop fussing. Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.
Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.
Stewie: [speaking to a Latina maid] So which of the Latin countries are you from: the one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?
[picking up the phone] Hello, operator. Hello... Oh, God, that's right, you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes, [dialing number] 867-5309, yes, that's it. Wait, that's not it. Damn you Tommy Tutone! Huh, only one thing to do. 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...
(When Joe falls overboard) Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick. Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic! Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
Peter: Holy crip, he's a crapple!
Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in...Game over.
Brain damaged horse is licking CLEVELAND's bathwater.
CLEVELAND: Ooh, that has all my dirt o' the day in it. That is so nasstee.
Seth MacFarlane is the funniest motherfucker on the planet. FAMILY GUY and AMERICAN DAD are addictive. I always find something funny in every show I watch on HULU.com.
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