Favorite Jokes or One Liners.

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by D_N Flay Table, Jan 5, 2007.

  1. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    Ok, I thought this would be fun... or not..

    post up your favorite joke or one liner...

    Ready???

    GO!!


    mine-
    "I WOULD be Gay, but I could NEVER get in THAT kind of shape!":tongue:
     
  2. nu8deep20

    nu8deep20 New Member

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    the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts;
    beer nuts are $1.25
    deer nuts are always under a buck
     
  3. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    What do a guy doing a balancing act 3,000 ft up & a guy getting a bj from Whoopi Goldberg have in common?

    Niether of them can look down.
    :biggrin::tongue:
     
  4. SassySpy

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    [FONT=&quot]How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Confucius Says[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Man who jizz in cash register come into money
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.[/FONT]
     
  5. fortiesfun

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    Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

    PS: Is it bad that I like SassySpy's signature line best of all her one-liners?
     
  6. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Weddings are the champagne of life; Unfortunately, marriage is the hangover.
     
  7. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    did you know that scientists discovered a food that will permantly kill a womans libido?





    <<< wedding cake.

    just sticking with the theme!

    but really...
     
  8. Gillette

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    Feline to Bambi as she comes staggering out of the woods, "That's the last time I do THAT for five bucks!
     
  9. jakeatolla

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    I can't tell you, but It comes from elephants !!!!!
     
  10. HazelGod

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    The lady who used to cut my hair told me this one...

    Q: What's the best thing that comes out of a penis?

    A: The wrinkles.
     
  11. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    :lmao: oooo that's bad
     
  12. invisibleman

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    I heard a little girl tell this joke to her father after listening to him tell jokes.

    She said, "Daddy, I heard a REALLY dirty joke, too, at school today." Dad was speechless yet curious to hear it.

    "Once upon a time, a shiny brave knight was riding his white horse in the enchanted forest and it tripped over a log. Both fell into a BIIIIIIIGGGGGGG mud puddle."
    She giggled as she skipped away clutching her dolly.
     
  13. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Text I received on New Year's day.

    "Happy Easter from the Alzheimers Society and all the best for 1982"
     
  14. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    mom's mabley and friend walking.

    Friend: i smell something burning. smells like hair burning.

    Mom's: you think we are walkin too fast?
     
  15. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    How can you tell if a married man drives a minivan?
    There's a bumper sticker that reads:Driver has no cash on him; he's married.
     
  16. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Why does micheal jackson like 29 year olds...
    cause there is 20, 9 year olds....

    I was super drunk when I heard this... and thought it was the greatest thing in the world. I hate MJ.
     
  17. chicagosam

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    Did you hear about the LPSG member who couldn't spell and spent the night in a warehouse?
     
  18. Hatched69

    Hatched69 Active Member

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    A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face"?:rolleyes:
     
  19. chicagosam

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    I think my best friend is gay because everytime I kiss him, he giggles.
     
  20. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    Hey Kink..
    the joke goes like this...
    Why does MJ like 28 year olds?

    .....
    cause there are 20 of em!!!!
     
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