Fear of not crying at funerals.

[lpsg17]

I feel for your loss. I dont think grieving is about whether you cry or not, i think it is about how your heart feels. I dont think one has to cry to feel great sadness.

Sorry again for your loss

my mother's brother died 2 weeks ago.
everyone arroud me was shocked, lots of tears.

the saddest part about all that is not being able to share this,
i seem to be unable to cry during such moments.
i to fake the sadness during other funerals.

some years ago i found i have schizoid tendencies
Schizoid personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

do not misinterpret as schizophrenia
..

the funerals are in 1-2 weeks
the worst part is that he suicided, 2nd attempt was the decisive one.
talked with his sons before, he even got caught by his son in the act and there was police, he just ran away and shot himself.

im afraid i wont be able to shed a tear

 

[LeeEJ]

Again, everyone grieves in different ways.

Having said that, it doesn't mean that you have to STFU and live with something that YOU perceive as a problem. We (well, almost all of us) say that it isn't a problem, but it might be a little harder for you to change your mind and agree with us.

I'll say to not fake it. You'll be so busy worrying about acting that you'll have trouble being at the funeral emotionally.

Maybe some sunglasses would help, though. People have come to expect funeral attendees to wear shades and hide their tears, so everyone else might think that you're doing the same. They may even help you be less self-conscious, and you might start shedding some tears as a result.

But, eh, who knows. I never ask people why they cry or why they don't. Emotions are purely personal. I'm just happy to see people at events like these -- their presence is enough.

 

[wallaboi]

Death and particularly suicide is difficult to deal with. Don't worry about crying or not at the funeral. The most important thing is to help those you care about and may be suffering distress. If you can't express your feelings in words, a hug or an arm around them can express a great deal more.

 

[Water dragon]

[FONT=&quot]I am the opposite in my family, I cry and no one else does in my family.
I find it’s not important to cry but it is important to feel in reflection and celebrate the life of the person. Crying is just one way. For example on the days before the funeral I in all crudeness made fun about my Grandma dyeing with friends and family, I laughed so did they. It helped stop people around me feeling sorry but lightened the mood of such an occasion. I may sound like an ass for it teasing the dead but it made everyone feel good and that is what is important to make everyone else feel good that the person dead in a good joke or a bad crude poke be sent off with one last joke.
I would personally hate to make everyone who loved me upset I was dead; better off with a bang than a whimper. Sadly too many people expect the cliché' of people at these occasions to cry. (Some people think the crying at funerals is selfish, like a child being denied their favorite toy; it is not the sadness for the loss of the toy but for the denial of the personal pleasure that came with it).
On the funeral day I cried and being male was more annoying and I fall in my own trap by trying to be a cliché manly figure but I do wish I can control my body's reactions because my emotions were fine (like after in an accident it is not pain or sadness, just a reaction that occures) on the day because I want to pay the same respect to the dead by not being sad but happy or in reflection at least like I would want people to be at my funeral.
I.e. A cardboard box coffin sticky taped with my face on it with people drawing jokes on it and random pictures (my body will be donated to science and the coffin later chucked out for recycling), a random radio channel playing in the back ground. At the wake lots of food.

But hey that is my way I want to envision the way I will go.[/FONT]