Fearing sex with me mate

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icecracker: Here's the deal. I'm 19, been with my boy for 4 years. He's 22. We are not sexually active in any way shape or form. I'm not ready for it, physically or mentally, and we've talked about it a lot, and we're on the same page about it, so no worries there.

But he's a big guy, and hung. I walked in on him while he was spankin the monkey(I jokingly asked him "what's up?"). I just saw this like 2 days ago, which is why I searched on the web and voila, here I am. At any rate, we talked a little while he was jacking (I was starving, and making dinner) and I asked him how big it was. So we measured it. 14 inches, by too much thickness. His dick is almost as thick as my wrist!

Anyway, he's a big guy in general though. He's 6'8", caucasian and an insane workout buff. Me? Entirely not. I'm 5'5", skinny as hell Asian boy. I NEVER work out (I'm an artistic type and proud of it!). In fact we joke about how we're like a tree...he's "trunk" and I'm "twig". At any rate, I can see us possibly having problems in the future regarding sex. So we discuss it some more. He told me, sex doesn't matter as long as he can be with me, and I told him the same. But hell, I want to at least give it a shot if I can!

I've actually been practicing/pleasuring myself for a couple of years now, but I don't think it's going well...I'm only using fingers at the moment (and lube of course!). Rarely, on a good day, I can get 2 fingers in. But often, even after lots of massaging, relaxing, patience, I still struggle with 1! So then I'm thinking...gigantic dick? Um...yeah, that's probably not going to work.

After 4 years, I don't think anal sex (lookin forward to oral though!) or lack thereof will put a strain on our relationship. But like I said, I want to give it a shot if I can, but I need some advice. I really care about him, and want to do the best for him that I can. Not to mention I want him inside me! I'd like for him to be the first non-finger to violate my insides, but I have a feeling I'm going to need more practice than that.

Other tips? I've been reading here about these "poppers", but don't know where to get 'em, side effects (are they harmful?), or what the hey the hooplah. (I'm drug-free too, so if they're something addictive, I'm gonig to steer clear).

Soooo...any suggestions and stuff will be appreciated. Thanks yo!

 

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boston68guy: In response to your fear of sex with your mate, sounds like you're right to be a bit afraid!

First, and foremost, avoid the poppers! You don't need them and they won't help you with your boyfriend. They're a drug and nothing more, so ditch them. The only thing they do is give you a head rush.

Now, to your problem: Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do, but use lots of patience and lots of lube! Anal sex can be difficult, as you've seen by yourself!

Your best bet is to do the following:
1. Have him finger you with one, then two, then three fingers. This will take a while (perhaps even an hour) before you can relax enough! And even then, the body only has so much that it can do...
2. If your body has relaxed some, and you can handle a few fingers without terrible pain, the next best bet may be to try some dildos, etc. However, you may have an aversion to toys... Again, increasing sizes will help your body relax.
3. Next, if you're relaxed and ready to try, have him lay on his back, and you sit on his penis. That way, you have full control of how much of his penis goes into you. If he were to try to enter you from above (with you on your stomach) he could potentially push in too quickly and cause you a LOT of pain.

The biggest thing you'll find is that receptive anal sex is tough for the first few times, no matter how big he is. It will burn because your muscles are spasming as something enters your body. But, with lots of time, trust in your boyfriend, romance, and lube, you should may hopefully be able to relax some and enjoy it. It's a VERY intense feeling/emotion...

So, that's the method I've found works for people that have trouble handling their big partners. The biggest thing (no pun intended) to remind your boyfriend of is that YOU must have control because otherwise you can get seriously hurt.

Good luck!

 

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TragicWhiteKnight: If he's really 14", you might want to contact the Guiness Book Of Records; they'd probably provide enough funds to help afford penile reduction surgery

More seriously, perhaps the best way to go about this is to find out how his previous partners have managed it, either by asking him or, even better, asking them (which is a little unorthodox but, hey, you say you're an arty type - they're supposed to be unorthodox).

This idea sounds stupid but it may help: make a plaster-cast of his cock. Not only would it make you fully aware of his size, you could make a dildo from it which could help gear you up for the real thing.

To deal with length issues, obviously make sure you're on top the first few times so you can control how much goes in you and get him to wear cock-rings (the doughnut shaped devices that effectively 'shorten' the peni).

As for thickness, you'll be best asking him for a circumference measurement so you know how really thick he is (and so forum members with the same thickness can help)

 

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Ineligible: Hi icecracker, you seem a very caring person. I'm not surprised your bf loves you. Have you asked him what sort of sex he'd like when you are ready? You probably have, but you don't mention it - just in case he can't stand the thought of anal sex and the whole question becomes academic.

 

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icecracker: Hey thanks for the tips everyone!

You know, I get that a lot (about being a caring person)...lol.

At any rate...we didn't measure circumference, but parts of it were thicker than my forearm.  Don't worry though,  I have skinny arms...I'd say the thickest part could easily be 10 inches though.

Alas, we are both virgins (we met when I was 15, he 18 ).  So can't help with the former partners...

And from what we've discussed of sex, he honestly says he doesn't care.  (Isn't he sweet?...lol).  But like I said, it's something I'd like to give a go at.  He has said that he does NOT want to have anything poke up the backdoor, and because of his size was afraid I would break up with him because of that.  (Imagine that...).  I told him it doesn't matter to me, although I'd be willing to try eventually.  Even if our sex life entails only oral and toys, I'll be happy.  Even if it entails nothing, I'd be happy just being with him.  The both of us as a couple are just happy people I guess.

Is a strictly oral relationship uncommon?  Because I think if I have this many doubts and fears now...it might be really hard to overcome.

Which brings me to anther point...Oral sex with a big dick?  I don't even know if I could get my mouth on the monster.  I'm thinking much of this is going to be out of the question too...

So I guess a question for the hung guys...how can someone make oral sex pleasureable for you?  Especially if their mouth isn't that big...I tried measuring the circumference of my mouth (which was an odd sight...) and I don't think I could even fit something 7 inches around.  So what else can I do?  What other methods?  Is licking pleasureable at all?

Or I guess another option would be a handjob...how can I do that well?

Sorry for the 20 questions interrogation...but I'm a virgin...so be kind...

*arg...so many typos...I hate being a grammer nut.