Feel Guilty?

[unabear09]

I'll be honest here: I experience this feeling of guilt after masturbation as well. The odd part is, I never experience it after sex with someone else. I've never been able to understand it, except to think that maybe my masturbatory fantasies, which are just thoughts in my head, are probably unconventional for what I might think is acceptable is real life. The fantasy gets me off, but after I think, wow, I shouldn't have been excited by that. However, in my real life, what I do is "normal" and there is no feelings of guilt.

So at heart, most likely that feeling of guilt is related to believing that what you are masturbating over is wrong. You can manage this by either reminding yourself that fantasy is fantasy and as long as you don't try to go overboard with it, it's healthy to confine it to your masturbation, or you come to accept aspects of yourself and figure out how to appreciate it in a healthy way.

See now man....I'm kinda the opposite. I know I'm probably going to get laughed off the board... but the first and only time I had sex, I had such incredable guilt....well I haven't had sex again. I don't know if its something that church instilled in me or what, but I was sick with guilt for a week or more after my first and only time. Idk, but all I know is the next time I have sex, its going to be in the confines of a deep, long relationship with someone that I care for and love. I know I'm weird

 

[B_boynextdoorkpt]

NO
I figure if God did not want us to do it, he would not have made it so fun!

 

[clrqr]

No not usualy but sometimes happens when I'm trying something new

 

[cm70874]

NO
I figure if God did not want us to do it, he would not have made it so fun!

Exactly, I had this debate with my grandmother (she is Russian so she is awesome). I told her if sex (masturbation) were only meant for reproduction, God would not have made it feel so good. She laughed.

 

[bbristow]

sometimes I do. Was brought up religious, but honestly don't recall the subject of masturbation coming up. However, I do recall many many instances of being told that if it feels good, its a sin, and you'll be cast to hell, and bullshit like that.

same situation here, although i still have my beliefs and that's what's making me feel guilty

 

[dingdong]

yes, i feel like this!

for me, it is the thought of having to clear up which makes me feel sort of sick, and my cock doesn't look nice just after i cum. Plus, if some of my cum goes to my thighs, i hate having to wash it off etc...

 

[B_The Greek Dude]

Does anyone ever feel guilty/grossed-out right after they masterbate? I swear, everytime I look at porn or something, right after I cum I feel completely grossed out and like I can't believe I was looking at that stuff. Is this normal or just me?

Yeah, this is very common. I find that masturbating again helps to get rid of the guilt.

 

[D_Roland_D_Hay]

MC...there is nothing wrong with you. Personally, I look at masturbating as a normal function to keep me mentally healthy! Therefore, I try to do it as much as I can. You might want to look at why you feel so guilty, and work out those feelings. Good luck man and follow Greek Dude's advice!

 

[deleted3782]

This is interesting. When I was younger, I can remember feeling a bit grossed out, fed up, and ready to move on to the next thing after orgasm. I'd feel sort of guilty for feeling they way I did and sometimes vowed not to do it again.

Now that I'm older, its the opposite. I feel satisfied, relieved, and sometimes even giggle or laugh. I'd forgotten, until I read this post, that I had feelings of remorse.

I have long heard of the French term "La petite mort" the little death that is described as "the spiritual release that comes with orgasm, or a short period of melancholy or transcendence, as a result of the expenditure of the life force." You can read a bit about it here La petite mort - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Somewhat related to Ineligible's earlier post http://www.lpsg.org/88685-feel-guilty.html#post1489604

Interesting stuff. I hope it goes away for you in time.

 

[two2]

maybe you feel guilty because you're using your hand and not sticking it in someone pussy or ass? would you feel better if your dick was in someones hole? dunno..

 

[SCsoccerMom]

well you ALL SHOULD feel guilty.....I mean after all...all these gorgeous guys and pent up sexual energy being wasted when there is a perfectly unsatisfied over stressed undersexed soccermom just down the block going to bed with a migrane and snoring husband
I kid.....just think of it as God's pressure relief valve!

 

[D_Edward Alpee]

I know what your sayin man. Once i've shot a load I go and get cleaned up and then when I get back to the PC if theres still porn on there i'm like, eww. lol. And its weird cus it was really gettin you hot a minute ago... I guess once you've cum you just turn off.

That's the weirdest part, when you go back and the stuff you were looking at is suddenly a complete turn off.

I think the other part might be the whole, "wow, I just rubbed one out, and it took [2, 5, 10, 15, 30, whatever] minutes and I totally could have used that time more efficiently," realization.

 

[Captain Elephant]

Ejaculation is God's way of saying "Stop fucking." But since you weren't you sort of feel like you fooled him. So you feel guilty.

Well, that's one way to look at it.

Another is after a hot masturbation session one would indeed feel guilty. I mean you're sitting there sweating. The mess is everywhere - semen here, dead chicken there, duct tape rolling around on the floor and Mom's feather duster is unfit for any duty. Yeah, I know, I been there, man. It happens to all of us.

 

[D_Edward Alpee]

See now man....I'm kinda the opposite. [...] but the first and only time I had sex, I had such incredible guilt....well I haven't had sex again. I don't know if its something that church instilled in me or what, but I was sick with guilt for a week or more after my first and only time. Idk, but all I know is the next time I have sex, it's going to be in the confines of a deep, long relationship with someone that I care for and love.

Not weird at all, in my opinion, unless we're in the minority together. For me, sex with a woman is something sacred and really special. If I fuck a guy it's a different, more just a recreational release. But with a woman, it means something completely different and I feel rather guilty just having a fuck. The only time I've felt completely normal fucking was with my only serious girlfriend, and there it was a similar experience to what No_Strings was saying. My current gf is a little frustrated with me, I think, because I don't want to have sex until it'll mean more than recreation, be an expression of feelings I don't necessarily have yet (that deep commitment and love you talk about).

 

[uncut1982]

Sometimes I do feel bad and then other times I'll turn around :20 mins later and wack off again. I once did it four times in a little over two hours... go figure!

 

[B_Demention]

It's related to upbringing. If you were raised in an environment that frowns on things like sex before marriage and promiscuity in general, then these feelings are quite common. My family is not in the least religious and there are actually a handful of scumbags in it so I was never really brought up with much of a moral compass. In fact it was almost the norm to be sort of on the fringes of conscientiousness. Even so, I have a set of values, but they're self-imposed, not terribly rigid, and they certainly don't encompass feelings of guilt with regards to anything sexual.

 

[spunkyboy2008]

Well I don't feel guilty but I know what you mean by the "grossed out" feeling after you've cum. For example if I have cum on myself I want to clean it up quickly and sometimes if I've been watching more 'extreme' porn it loose all its appeal as soon as I'm done.

 

[ProudlyHung]

Without realizing it, I've had this guilt after ANY sexual experience. Don't understand it and thought I was alone. Upbringing ... religious teachings ... sperm is alive and I'm sending it down the drain ?? I know how ridiculous it sounds but that could be it.

 

[Autofellatio]

It's not the act of masturbation that bugged me...

It was the images that ran through my head; I severely freaked out the first time I came to the thought of fucking a guy When I learned that I could perform autofellatio on myself, the guilt trips became worse.


I've sort of come to terms with being bisexual, but I still get the occasional shudder whenever I pleasure myself, whether by hand or by mouth :frown1:

Maybe it's because I was raised in a uber-conservative environment, where sex is 100% taboo to be talked about...

 

[DadsAreUs]

When I first started I felt guilty or ashamed. i remember going to school the day after my first orgasm and I was sure everyone could tell, like maybe something looked different about me or I had jizz somewhere on the back of my head or something. I remember feeling all red faced and hot with embarrassment.

But that went away.