Feel Weird After Sex?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by 8in_uncut, Feb 22, 2010.

  1. 8in_uncut

    8in_uncut Active Member

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    Ok, so recently, me and this girl started having sex, we are not technically dating, but are not seeing anyone else either. We always hang out together almost 24/7 and she always come over and stays the night a lot. She is great in the bed, and can take 8in. down her throat like a pro. What I want to know is, how come when we do have sex, and I really want to do it with her, and I don't have any worries, or regrets, why do I always feel so bad about doing it all the next day, and always act shady, and different around her than I normally would. I realize that I was raised in the church, and even though I am a Christian, and know sex should be saved until marraige, I really can't hold to that, and I really did want to have sex with her, and I really do care for her. I don't ever recognize it really, until she tells me about it, or asks me why I am acting funny? Has this happened to any of you other guys, and if it has, how did you learn to over come the next day unknown regret.
     
  2. MrToolhung

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    I have never been in that boat myself. But I am just thinking maybe you feel regret because there is no meaning to the sex that you have had with her. Many people like to have some kind of emotional attachment to the person who they are having sex with.
     
  3. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    If this happened to me I would question the intimacy between me and the other person. I know that you care for her, but the fact that there is no certainty that this will last it could be some sort of defense mechanicms of recouping from that closeness and intimacy.
     
  4. 8in_uncut

    8in_uncut Active Member

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    Well, I mean we have told each other we love each other, and we really mean it, and I guess I should say we make love, because that is what it is, but we just don't feel like we should have to make it Facebook official, or make it be known to the world that we are exclusive. But we do have a deep emotional connection.
     
  5. cbrmale

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    Never happened to me, but in your case I think it's your Christian beliefs in conflict with your desire and action. In my country it's a moot point given we're not Christian, but Christianity is all about denying pleasure, including sexual pleasure, and feeling guilty about pleasure (it's all sinful and all that).

    I'm agnostic myself.
     
  6. Jaxence

    Jaxence Member

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    Just sounds like u respect her a lot and so naturally you'd feel more self concious about how your treating her as opposed to a normal fuck

    nothin to worry about, in fact its a good thing. it'll pass in a short time man
     
  7. Wish-4-8

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    Its guilt. Guilt that you should be more but are not. Guilt that you are "getting the milk for free without buying the cow."

    Your background has had an effect on you. Intellictually, you know where you are. You described your situation without an problems. But emotionally, the guilt is getting to you. Slowly creeping in giving you a feeling of shame. The points cbrmale brought up are right on.

    So what to do? Thats a tough one since the ideas are so implanted or ingrained in your head. Your subconcious will get you. So just date her, or, "make an honest woman out of her". I wish I could give you something better.
     
  8. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    Try to work through your christian guilt. Tell her about your feelings. Nothing makes a woman feel closer to her guy than him sharing his emotions with her. To me it's sounds like you're in a win win situation.
     
  9. D_Hacffurthe Eatprick

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    Its the guilt thing alright. Maybe one or both of your parents attitudes towards sex has made you feel guilty. That happened to me until I decided that I wasn't going to allow others to force their own attitudes onto me and I would decide what I believed was right and wrong ...
     
  10. dolfette

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    marry her!
    ...only joking.

    it's hard to go against your programming. my guess is that it will get better over time. maybe you need to do something feelgood to compensate, like donate some time/cash/clothing to charity. a symbol that you're a good person who tries to do good things.
     
  11. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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  12. AlphaSpartan

    AlphaSpartan New Member

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    I'd say you feel bad because you've been brainwashed to believe premarital sex is of the Devil. For the first few years I started masturbating I felt very depressed each time, sometimes physically sick... now I just get depressed if I realize I forgot to grab a towel first.

    Don't get me wrong, I respect every religion no matter how "weird" some of them get but I decided a long time ago I wouldn't live my life dedicated to someone there is no physical proof of (I don't want to start a quarrel about that so I won't reply if you bring it up).

    So long as you both remain in great communication I say keep going for it. You'll definitely both get very good at sex. If one of you start feeling ashamed, TALK ABOUT IT.
     
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