Feeling guilty

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by DaveyR, Jan 5, 2007.

  1. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    11,908
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northumberland
    My S/O and I have had our parents and some friends over to stay with us from the UK for the last three weeks. The all went home to the Uk earlier tonight and we are really enjoying having the house to ourselves again.

    The problem is we feel really guilty. We have loved seeing them ( especially our parents who are getting on in years ) as they live so far away and we only see them a couple of times a year. On the other hand we value our space and our independence.

    We feel really selfish and shitty for enjoying our own space again. What do you guys think? Are any of you in a similar situation?
     
  2. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Messages:
    11,866
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    CANADA

    Dave, I dont' think there is anything wrong with your feelings.

    I know that when I have an extended stay with my parents, it is really nice at first but eventually, I get bored and crave my "freedom" and privacy.

    I think there comes a point when we as humans enjoy our own space. It's not a bad thing at all, buddy.:rolleyes:
     
  3. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2006
    Messages:
    2,757
    Likes Received:
    7
    Believe me,
    I love my folks, but everyone needs thier space.
    and privacy.
     
  4. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2005
    Messages:
    8,602
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Germany
    I think guilt is the wrong emotion to be experiencing.

    There's nothing wrong with enjoying others' company.

    And there's nothing wrong with enjoying your own space.

    We all need a bit of both in our lives, so why not just enjoy both on their own merits?

    One of the best decisions my parents and I ever reached was that we love each other dearly, but readily acknowledge that we prefer to see each other for a couple of weeks a year, rather than try to live in one another's pockets. :rolleyes: Doesn't mean we enjoy the 'together' times any less, they're just something markedly different to everyday life in one's own space.
     
  5. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    11,908
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northumberland
    Thanks guys for your replies and Alex for the rolling eyes.

    I took them to the airport almost six hours ago and as yet they are still on the Island. They have been delayed 3 times so far.
     
  6. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    Nothing to feel guilty about, Dave.

    Everybody feels a certain degree of relief to have their personal space back. It's human.
     
  7. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2006
    Messages:
    2,061
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dave, could you be any nicer? What Alex said was perfect. Enjoy both the company and the comfort of solitude.
     
  8. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    11,908
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northumberland
    Well we have just been to see them. They were delayed for 24 hours and taken to an hotel at 7am this morning. They did not phone as they did not want to bother and worry us any further. They seem quite happy in the hotel and are enjoying an unexpected extra day.
     
  9. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2004
    Messages:
    1,852
    Likes Received:
    12
    We almost all feel that way, mate.

    Most important thing is that you love your parents, and that you are ready to help and to support them when they ask it to you, or when you know they need you, even if they do not ask.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted