Feeling -Jected

[Paul Vincent]

Dejected, rejected, ejected from seat of loveliness high above the mucky muck, etc.

My girlfriend on Saturday was trying to coax out of me how I felt about her. I said I didn't want to tell her etc...Anyway, she got me to say I love her, which I do...in a way. Not in the ominous, forever kind of way. But I do more than like her and really care about her. So she said she loved me too, and things were great. Prior to that 'confession' she asked me to come to her house on Christmas Day, well practically begged me. I agreed.

This morning she said she was ill, sore (down there...sorry) and didn't want to kiss me or for me to touch her, which is actually what she's like most 'morning afters'. After awhile she said she didn't love me, or didn't mean it...so then I was depressed and a bit shocked and things.

She dropped me off home and she still wants to go out with me and wants things to 'slow down'.

The other thing is, its her birthday the week after next. Obviously she wants me to come down to hers and go out with her for it. But what pisses me off is this guy, who she had sex with before I met her (and who is engaged!) is coming too, she asked him (before I met her). So that's gonna be awkward and I wonder will he make a move on her and things. Plus things will just be awkward because I don't feel much like seeing her or that there is anything 'there' anymore.

I was just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and what to do?

 

[snoozan]

Ok, so it sounds like neither one of you really knows the way you feel about the other. If you can't figure out of you love her, and she changes her mind the day after you tell her your do, this is not the sign of a good, healthy relationship. Both of you are probably better off taking a little time off to figure things out.

That's my five-second opinion, but really you have to do an inventory of yourself and figure out what you really feel for her and if it's worth it to continue pursuing a relationship with her. Rejection is a terrible feeling, but you'll get over it. You have to know why you're feeling rejected-- a lot of times it has nothing to do with losing someone you actually want to be with and more to do with your comfort and ego.

If she had to beg you to come to Christmas, in fact, beg you to do anything, this doesn't sound like a match. It really makes me feel more strongly that you don't really care that much for her.

 

[Paul Vincent]

No I do!

I don't mean she was on her hands and knees or that I necessarily disagreed, just she would always ask me and keep re-asking to make sure I was going. I was just unsure because I've always spent Christmas with my family.

Now she says she's going to Italy (to see a friend) for her birthday now because she wants to get away. Her friend is female but I'm still not happy about it.

 

[snoozan]

Ok, I get it (about the begging). Also, unlike me, it sounds like being with your family at Christmas is very important to you. At least, that wasn't important to me when I was your age, now it's extremely important. Anyway.

Well, men are usually better at this than women so you might be able to take this suggestion... Let her figure out what she needs and come to you. Try to stop agonizing, it seems like she's fucking with your head a little bit. I'd stop calling her, let her pursue you. This way you'll be able to disengage a little and when/if she does figure things out, you'll at least know what she wants. She sounds very confused about everything.

Women.

:tongue:

Snooz

 

[Paul Vincent]

But I'm afraid because we've had this little falling out/disagreement that she'll find someone else...

I'd get over it eventually but I wouldn't want to be with her while she has some other guy as well. She gets texts constantly off guys every hour of the day and night and it seriously annoys me because she is the only girl I talk to and SHE doesn't believe me...

 

[Ethyl]

Ok, I get it (about the begging). Also, unlike me, it sounds like being with your family at Christmas is very important to you. At least, that wasn't important to me when I was your age, now it's extremely important. Anyway.

Well, men are usually better at this than women so you might be able to take this suggestion... Let her figure out what she needs and come to you. Try to stop agonizing, it seems like she's fucking with your head a little bit. I'd stop calling her, let her pursue you. This way you'll be able to disengage a little and when/if she does figure things out, you'll at least know what she wants. She sounds very confused about everything.

If she won't listen to your concerns and she's so flighty, do you really want to spend time with someone like that? You deserve better. Fantastic sex aside, be choosy about the company you keep. Don't settle for drama if you don't want it.

Edit: If you're afraid she might find someone else, she's either given you good reason to think she will or you're feeling insecure for another reason. If she's not willing to listen to your concerns and she's that flighty, do you really want to spend time with her at all? I think you deserve better than that.

Women.

:tongue:

Snooz

Snoozan's right. She's fucking with your head, maybe not intentionally, but she's definitely testing your boundaries. Take the aforementioned advice and back off for a while. If you decide you want to keep this relationship with her you'll need to establish new and clear boundaries later. Or you might decide you don't need the excessive drama. But you do need a break to figure it out.

 

[Paul Vincent]

Oh and she said she was going to Ireland for her birthday before with her ex 'just to see if I cared'. It does seem like she likes to headfuck me...I'll tread carefully and not put up with any bo shiznit.

 

[schlong35]

personally i dont have the patience for those kinda games from woman. either im loved or NOT. If my gf were to say she diddnt love me at anytime during the relationship id let her go.! This is why im single today. Too many games out there. Men have emotions also and this up and down stuff i just dont have time for. Personally I would not be going to her b-day party . or to her house any more. She would have to come to me for this point forward.

 

[Paul Vincent]

Yeah thanks.

Now she's saying I was too serious because I said I love her...even though I really only like her a lot...despite her forcing it out of me and things.

She wants me to come down for a meal the Wednesday after next, and she's still going to Italy...where I suspect she'll cheat on me because she told me she's cheated on every boyfriend she's had...

And she isn't picky, she's shagged some right mingers. Alas, I shall watch my step. The beautiful ones...

 

[pseudocognomen]

Yeah thanks.

Now she's saying I was too serious because I said I love her...even though I really only like her a lot...despite her forcing it out of me and things.

She wants me to come down for a meal the Wednesday after next, and she's still going to Italy...where I suspect she'll cheat on me because she told me she's cheated on every boyfriend she's had...

And she isn't picky, she's shagged some right mingers. Alas, I shall watch my step. The beautiful ones...

I think you should take a break and cum spend Christmas with me and my wife! :tongue: I'd love to put a big fucking bow on you and watch her unwrap her 'gift'.

 

[BigPoppaFury]

She sounds like a complete head fuck and I'd have dumped her by now.

 

[DaveyR]

She sounds a bit of a Bunny Boiler - watch your step Paul.

 

[Paul Vincent]

Yeah thanks...especially pseudocognomen :smile:

I'll just be nonchalant and stay with her for some hot sex, and be prepared for it all to blow up.

 

[karmen]

Yeah thanks.

Now she's saying I was too serious because I said I love her...even though I really only like her a lot...despite her forcing it out of me and things.

She wants me to come down for a meal the Wednesday after next, and she's still going to Italy...where I suspect she'll cheat on me because she told me she's cheated on every boyfriend she's had...

And she isn't picky, she's shagged some right mingers. Alas, I shall watch my step. The beautiful ones...

The Beautiful Ones:
Baby, baby, baby
What’s it gonna be
Baby, baby, baby
Is it him or is it me?
Don’t make me waste my time
Don’t make me lose my mind baby

Baby, baby, baby
Can’t u stay with me tonight
Oh baby, baby, baby
Don’t my kisses please u right
U were so hard 2 find
The beautiful ones, they hurt u everytime

Paint a perfect picture
Bring 2 life a vision in one’s mind
The beautiful ones
Always smash the picture
Always everytime

If I told u baby
That I was in love with u
Oh baby, baby, baby
If we got married
Would that be cool?

U make me so confused
The beautiful ones
U always seem 2 lose

Baby, baby,
Baby, baby,
Baby, baby,
Baby,
What’s it gonna be baby?

Do u want him?
Or do u want me?
Cause I want u
Said I want u
Tell me, babe
Do u want me?
I gotta know, I gotta know
Do u want me?
Baby, baby, baby
Listen 2 me
I may not know where I’m going (babe)
I said I may not know what I need
One thing, one thing’s 4 certain baby
I know what I want, yeah
And if it please u baby
Please u, baby
I’m begging down on my knees
I want u
Yes I do
Baby, baby, baby, baby
I want you

Yes I do

As sung, written and produced by Prince.

 

[Paul Vincent]

Hehe. That's just what I was thinking too!

Cheered me up very much that :smile:

Thanks you baby!

 

[invisibleman]

You're young. Young love relationships don't mean anything. Youth are not commitment material anyway. Just have sexx. Fuck, fuck, fuck out of your system.

You're lucky you don't have any kids with this woman. Or even married.

When you're young, you are supposed to be fucking. I doubt you're feeling 'jected. Young people are resilient to the broken heart.

 

[BareAss]

Dejected, rejected, ejected from seat of loveliness high above the mucky muck, etc.

My girlfriend on Saturday was trying to coax out of me how I felt about her. I said I didn't want to tell her etc...Anyway, she got me to say I love her, which I do...in a way. Not in the ominous, forever kind of way. But I do more than like her and really care about her. So she said she loved me too, and things were great. Prior to that 'confession' she asked me to come to her house on Christmas Day, well practically begged me. I agreed.

This morning she said she was ill, sore (down there...sorry) and didn't want to kiss me or for me to touch her, which is actually what she's like most 'morning afters'. After awhile she said she didn't love me, or didn't mean it...so then I was depressed and a bit shocked and things.

She dropped me off home and she still wants to go out with me and wants things to 'slow down'.

The other thing is, its her birthday the week after next. Obviously she wants me to come down to hers and go out with her for it. But what pisses me off is this guy, who she had sex with before I met her (and who is engaged!) is coming too, she asked him (before I met her). So that's gonna be awkward and I wonder will he make a move on her and things. Plus things will just be awkward because I don't feel much like seeing her or that there is anything 'there' anymore.

I was just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and what to do?

... Reality is for those that can't do Drugs. Love is a mental, physical, emotional attraction between two people, not always of the oposite sex.

or

... Love the one you are with, doesn't matter if they are in front of you, behind you, or on their knees. Then go love the next one as soon as you are horny. Just make sure you use a Condom.

... She doesn't want you or him there. She wants what ever present you both bring. She wants the attention, She wants a "Love of convience".

BareAss