feeling sad

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by The Dragon, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Messages:
    6,278
    Likes Received:
    6
    Sorry to vent folks.
    but tomorrow is going to be a very hard day for me as it will be the 4th year to the day since my heart was broken.
    I am sorry to say that I still carry around the love that I felt and the pain of my loss.
    I can intellectualize it and know in my head it was a bad thing but what about my heart. How can I distance my self from this pain without dwelling.
    And for Gods sake don't say "just get over it" because if it was that easy I would have been "over it" in the first week.
    Dragonfly.
     
  2. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2007
    Messages:
    4,201
    Likes Received:
    3
    I met my first love over the summer. Well lets say the first girl I thought I was in love with. I was confused and didn't know how to justify my feelings. It was an internet thing which people will say is silly of me for falling like that, but this was the first woman that showed the slightest bit of interst in me, so I fell pretty hard. And when I told her how I felt and she said she had no feelings, I was crushed. Even though she said my age difference bothered her, she would up with another guy my age, which hurt even more.

    While I have moved on, I still think about it from time to time and it doesn't stop hurting. I guess first loves never will, no matter how they happen.

    You are not alone with your feelings, just be strong.:hug:
     
  3. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    sorry dragonfly, i dont know the situation you are talking about but try and surround yourself with friends and loved ones. Let them show you the love that you lost 4 years ago
     
  4. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Messages:
    6,278
    Likes Received:
    6
    Thanks Hardcock.
    I sit here with tears in my eyes, a bit drunk and my heart is breaking all over again. yes I do feel alone..but thank you, your kind words mean alot to me.
    Dragonfly
     
  5. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2007
    Messages:
    4,201
    Likes Received:
    3
    Just take it easy on the drinks alright. And try to take Lee's advice and surround yourself with friends and loved ones, I know it will help.
     
  6. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Dragonfly20, I have felt that pain too. Only I was in somewhat worse a spot; because for four years I was not only heartbroken and not 'getting over it'; I wasn't dating or having sex either. :frown1:

    I heard all sorts of stupid ass theories from well meaning friends:
    • Divide the length of the relationship by two and that is how long it takes to get over him.
    • Go shoe shopping
    • Buy a pretty dress
    • Spend the weekend in Atlantic City
    • A spa day
    • Get drunk
    • Eat a hot fudge sundae
    • Buy sexy lingerie
    • Hair of the dog that bit you, i.e. just start dating again - yeah that's easy :confused:
    FYI - None of these things worked for me.

    You will mourn the loss of that relationship for the amount of time which is right for you; and not one day more. I know that's not helpful but it's true.
     
  7. viking1

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2006
    Messages:
    4,706
    Likes Received:
    5
    I feel sad most of the time. Nothing seems to help much, or for long. I don't know what to tell you, but I know how you feel.
     
  8. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Messages:
    6,278
    Likes Received:
    6
    Thank you Nj,
    I value that you don't try to feed me crap to help make the pain go away.
    I am perhaps going to be "off the wall" for a few days, please forgive me in advance.
     
  9. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    You dont want to be fed shit advice? Then just keep drinking. Alcohol helps :yup:

    Been there, felt how you are right now and it sucks
     
  10. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Messages:
    6,278
    Likes Received:
    6
    Thanks Lee.
    Us Aussie girls have to stick together
     
  11. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Messages:
    6,278
    Likes Received:
    6
    And in case your wondering I have gone to therapy.
    Who would have thought that they would cry so easily.
    Whimps.
     
  12. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    With every post you make i just want to hug and love you even harder. You must be the sweetest guy ever :kiss:

    Sounds like us Aussie chicks are also suckers when it comes to guys
    :redface:
     
  13. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    There is no shame in admitting you loved, and certainly no shame in having a cry about it. It is good you have gone to therapy about it, and im sure even they would say cruing is a normal part of getting over it
     
  14. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Messages:
    6,278
    Likes Received:
    6
    Normally I am so in control but at the moment I feel so broken and crushed.
    Curling into a ball, getting wasted and crying alot seems to be a good option at this time.
     
  15. ManlyBanisters

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    12,807
    Likes Received:
    8
    I do wonder, sometimes, if we ever 'get over' these kind of hurts. Personally I think I just assimilate them and they become part of what makes me me.

    There is a point, I suppose, when crying stops being part of it (or at least when thinking about it no longer brings tears more often than not) - until then you just have to find a space to cry in when you need to.

    One thing is for sure - you certainly aren't alone in having these feelings.
     
  16. Jovial

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2006
    Messages:
    2,404
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CA
    Sorry to hear that you're feeling so bad. Keep crying and get the bad feelings out of your system. I know that you'll have better times in your future.
     
  17. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    Messages:
    6,278
    Likes Received:
    6
    Thank you Jovial,
    You have always been a sweet guy.
     
  18. Drifterwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    15,725
    Likes Received:
    386
    Location:
    Fingringhoe (GB)
    Big strong arms and a knack for knowing when to squeeze - but I always give the caveat that I will almost certainly get a dirty big demanding boner. Still, takes your mind off it. xx :hug:
     
  19. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Heatbreak is the hardest thing in the world to deal with, I think harder than dealing with a death. I deal with the heartbreak of the only person I ever loved or trusted figuring out he was gay. To make a horrible situation worse he had sex with me thinking it would make something in me feel better. Either way he is fairly distanced from my life and it still hurts like hell.

    I hope in time you can get over the pain, you deserve it. Keep strong girly.
     
  20. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin' up a good pot of mad!

    Sweetheart,

    Each of us has a different time table for healing. Have you considered counselling. I know it helped me put some things in perspective. Most of all was that when someone does something heinous to you often it isnt even about you but about them. Most people are not trying to hurt us, they just arent thinking about us , period. So, this allows them to do things that are not in OUR personal best interest at the time. I wish you the best and continued heart healing. When they say its not you its me. BELIEVE THEM! LOL!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted