feeling sad

[The Dragon]

Sorry to vent folks.
but tomorrow is going to be a very hard day for me as it will be the 4th year to the day since my heart was broken.
I am sorry to say that I still carry around the love that I felt and the pain of my loss.
I can intellectualize it and know in my head it was a bad thing but what about my heart. How can I distance my self from this pain without dwelling.
And for Gods sake don't say "just get over it" because if it was that easy I would have been "over it" in the first week.
Dragonfly.

 

[D_Jurgen Klitgaard]

I met my first love over the summer. Well lets say the first girl I thought I was in love with. I was confused and didn't know how to justify my feelings. It was an internet thing which people will say is silly of me for falling like that, but this was the first woman that showed the slightest bit of interst in me, so I fell pretty hard. And when I told her how I felt and she said she had no feelings, I was crushed. Even though she said my age difference bothered her, she would up with another guy my age, which hurt even more.

While I have moved on, I still think about it from time to time and it doesn't stop hurting. I guess first loves never will, no matter how they happen.

You are not alone with your feelings, just be strong.:hug:

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

sorry dragonfly, i dont know the situation you are talking about but try and surround yourself with friends and loved ones. Let them show you the love that you lost 4 years ago

 

[The Dragon]

Thanks Hardcock.
I sit here with tears in my eyes, a bit drunk and my heart is breaking all over again. yes I do feel alone..but thank you, your kind words mean alot to me.
Dragonfly

 

[D_Jurgen Klitgaard]

Thanks Hardcock.
I sit here with tears in my eyes, a bit drunk and my heart is breaking all over again. yes I do feel alone..but thank you, your kind words mean alot to me.
Dragonfly

Just take it easy on the drinks alright. And try to take Lee's advice and surround yourself with friends and loved ones, I know it will help.

 

[Principessa]

Dragonfly20, I have felt that pain too. Only I was in somewhat worse a spot; because for four years I was not only heartbroken and not 'getting over it'; I wasn't dating or having sex either. :frown1:

I heard all sorts of stupid ass theories from well meaning friends:

• Divide the length of the relationship by two and that is how long it takes to get over him.
• Go shoe shopping
• Buy a pretty dress
• Spend the weekend in Atlantic City
• A spa day
• Get drunk
• Eat a hot fudge sundae
• Buy sexy lingerie
• Hair of the dog that bit you, i.e. just start dating again - yeah that's easy

FYI - None of these things worked for me.

You will mourn the loss of that relationship for the amount of time which is right for you; and not one day more. I know that's not helpful but it's true.

 

[viking1]

I feel sad most of the time. Nothing seems to help much, or for long. I don't know what to tell you, but I know how you feel.

 

[The Dragon]

Thank you Nj,
I value that you don't try to feed me crap to help make the pain go away.
I am perhaps going to be "off the wall" for a few days, please forgive me in advance.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

You dont want to be fed shit advice? Then just keep drinking. Alcohol helps :yup:

Been there, felt how you are right now and it sucks

 

[The Dragon]

Thanks Lee.
Us Aussie girls have to stick together

 

[The Dragon]

And in case your wondering I have gone to therapy.
Who would have thought that they would cry so easily.
Whimps.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

I feel sad most of the time. Nothing seems to help much, or for long. I don't know what to tell you, but I know how you feel.

With every post you make i just want to hug and love you even harder. You must be the sweetest guy ever :kiss:

Thanks Lee.
Us Aussie girls have to stick together

Sounds like us Aussie chicks are also suckers when it comes to guys
:redface:

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

And in case your wondering I have gone to therapy.
Who would have thought that they would cry so easily.
Whimps.

There is no shame in admitting you loved, and certainly no shame in having a cry about it. It is good you have gone to therapy about it, and im sure even they would say cruing is a normal part of getting over it

 

[The Dragon]

Normally I am so in control but at the moment I feel so broken and crushed.
Curling into a ball, getting wasted and crying alot seems to be a good option at this time.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I do wonder, sometimes, if we ever 'get over' these kind of hurts. Personally I think I just assimilate them and they become part of what makes me me.

There is a point, I suppose, when crying stops being part of it (or at least when thinking about it no longer brings tears more often than not) - until then you just have to find a space to cry in when you need to.

One thing is for sure - you certainly aren't alone in having these feelings.

 

[Jovial]

Sorry to hear that you're feeling so bad. Keep crying and get the bad feelings out of your system. I know that you'll have better times in your future.

 

[The Dragon]

Thank you Jovial,
You have always been a sweet guy.

 

[Drifterwood]

Big strong arms and a knack for knowing when to squeeze - but I always give the caveat that I will almost certainly get a dirty big demanding boner. Still, takes your mind off it. xx :hug:

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Heatbreak is the hardest thing in the world to deal with, I think harder than dealing with a death. I deal with the heartbreak of the only person I ever loved or trusted figuring out he was gay. To make a horrible situation worse he had sex with me thinking it would make something in me feel better. Either way he is fairly distanced from my life and it still hurts like hell.

I hope in time you can get over the pain, you deserve it. Keep strong girly.

 

[naughty]

Sorry to vent folks.
but tomorrow is going to be a very hard day for me as it will be the 4th year to the day since my heart was broken.
I am sorry to say that I still carry around the love that I felt and the pain of my loss.
I can intellectualize it and know in my head it was a bad thing but what about my heart. How can I distance my self from this pain without dwelling.
And for Gods sake don't say "just get over it" because if it was that easy I would have been "over it" in the first week.
Dragonfly.

Sweetheart,

Each of us has a different time table for healing. Have you considered counselling. I know it helped me put some things in perspective. Most of all was that when someone does something heinous to you often it isnt even about you but about them. Most people are not trying to hurt us, they just arent thinking about us , period. So, this allows them to do things that are not in OUR personal best interest at the time. I wish you the best and continued heart healing. When they say its not you its me. BELIEVE THEM! LOL!