I sometimes wonder if I felt more desired by women, if I would lean more towards them sexually. I had one gf as a teenager. but due to her living far away and religious beliefs we never had sex. tbh I'm not sure I wanted to with her. She did genuinely seem attracted to me though. she was very pretty looked kind of like Jenniffer Lawrence. but more curvy.
I have pretty much identified as gay since then, but I have never been with a women, and I know I have definitely desired them before.
I have in some ways been with more men than I would like to say. some of it was really good, some pretty mediocre. not many seriously relationships though,. men do seem to desire me quite a bit. I am super short like 5'4' men don't seem to mind that as much as women. almost everyone women I have ever met. when she says what she wants in man "tall" is almost always the first or second thing she says. I mean it feels nice that someone desires me. but I would like to know I could get with a women if I wanted one. maybe I just come off as not interested in them though??
being desired isn't all that it's cracked up to be sometimes, I have this creeper contentiously make new profiles on grindr, not have a fave pic and send me messages and then when I asked who he is he will send me a picture of his face. like I would forget or something. I have blocked him, thought about contacting the police, but he hasn't ever approached me in person.
one time I had a guy talked to me like he knew me and talk about my work, and wouldn't send me a face pick. it was super creepy.
Older men REALLY REALLY are into me, I'm not sure why. I have been with older men before. but generally they are not my type. gets annoying after a while.
I look really young too, I'm 33, but could pass as early 20s. I have a minor birth-defect. cleft lip. It is not super noticeable anymore though and I have gotten compliments on my "big' lips quite a bit. so I am not super self-conscious about it anymore, again I think it may bother woman more than men. I know I am fairly good looking otherwise though. cause I get alot of attention on places like Grindr. ect. I don't usually even have to send a message first.
I honestly am kind of sick of hook-up culture, which is what most of what gay-dating culture is, around me anyways and I want a family and children, think a woman might be easier. I don't know I want to want her enough to marry her though and I haven't found that yet.