Feeling too fucking little...

madame_zora

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Okay, I'm going to enter my annual "Mental readjustment on penis size" post here. I don't do this often, but it IS your birthday after all!

Insecurity sucks, I can't think of a woman alive that will like you if you exhibit it to her. If you demand too much reassurance from her about your size, she WILL reject you eventually because it will gross her out, then you will misinterpret the rejection that it is about your penis, when it is really about your attitude. Take responsibility for this, it is what you DO have control over. I'm not trying to be condescending here, I know you probably know this already, deep down inside, but so often people ignore the things they know inside in preference for some less evolved thinking, which is all that's going on here.

I can't change my skin colour, body type (this was a big one, how would you like to be a foot taller than your classmates at 12 years old and full figured, when EVERYONE else is short, skinny and white?). I'll never be a slender, lithe "gazelle" with blonde hair and tits that stand firmly up on their own. Damn. I hate all Swedish Bikini models! If I go on their website and tell them how much I've compared myself to them and found myself coming up short, I wonder how much understanding they'll offer me? Probably none, and probably no such site exists. This IS a support group for sexuality issues, but there are literally billions more men with this one issue than the reverse. If we aren't somewhat self-editing, the whole board could very easily become the small penis support group, which is not the intention.

That being said, it's not that anyone wishes to be rude or deny compassion, it's just that there's really nothing much to say. Wishing to be in the "extremely rare" category is understandable, but if it ain't so, it ain't so. I'm 5'7", I stopped growing completely at age 12. I WISH I was 5'10", but I can't increase my height one quarter of an inch with all my mental effort! Therefore it is useless energy.

Some truth- size matters to SOME women, but even those who have a strong preference don't all prefer larger. Case in point, I had this conversation with some strippers a couple weeks ago, we were giggling about dicks in general then started talking about size. Out of the ten girls there, two said they had small vaginas and preferred small, a few said average fit best for them, three of us said we liked large. I have no idea how this would stack up against normal society, it was just a random conversation, but these are girls who have all had sex with more partners than average (I'd assume) and at least know their bodies to a degree. Most women don't have a fucking clue what size they are so if they SAY they like large, they are most likely responding to the same bullshit that they are being fed about bigger being better that causes guys so much stress. They really don't know how they're supposed to feel, so they feel how they're programmed to feel.

MOST (by a HUGE margin) women will fall for a guy, a whole package, his penis size will hardly be any factor at all! They will make their judgement about whether they will have sex with you based on whether they like you. Sorry for you guys who like to beat yourselves up over your penis size, but that's true. If you are a boring, sobbiing ass over your dick size, don't expect a woman to nurture you through it. We aren't your mothers, we are you partners, so act like a partner.

There are some women who do have a preference and it is for large guys. Guess what? They are not available to you. Tough shit. There are tons of women who aren't available to you for a multitude of reasons, stop tripping yourself out over this, you know it already. Famous rich supermodels will never give you the time of day, happily married women aren't going to give you any, decent girls who are fucking your friends are off limits to you, the list goes on and on. Size queens won't be into you, damn- scratch about 2% of women off the list and go on with your life, this really is much ado about nothing. If you concentrate of being an exciting lover who listens to his partners needs instead of just worry about fulfilling his own, you'll probably get plenty of call-backs. If you obsess about your dick, well then don't blame your dick for what your head and mouth are guilty of.


Oh yeah, anyone who wants to tell it's dismissive to say "just do it!" is wrong. It's the only honest answer. Just because something is hard doesn't mean you shouldn't be expected to step up to the plate. People have to do tough things all the time, this is just one of them.
 

Car_Ramrod

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Listen to the free, wise advice offered in this thread. It's unhealthy to let something so TRIVIAL such as your cock size ruin your life and self-image. If my theoretical girl would refuse to meet a friend of mine on the grounds of an inferiority complex, I'd be mighty pissed and frustrated.
 

panthera

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Happy Birthday a bit late! Now that things have resolved themselves, my two cents. When it became obvious that I was going to be at least as well endowed as me dad he told me (must have been 9 or 10) it was great to be well-hung, but seeing as how he got it from his parents and I from mine, there was every reason to be thankful, but none to be proud. Now if my grades were to come up, that would be a reason to be proud...
Seriously, can you imagine what life would be like if you were always the smartest or the best mechanic or the ultimate authority on everything? Who would/could you turn to when you needed help?
A side note: The best I was ever fucked - multiple prostate orgasims - was by a man who was 60+, bald and had a 5'' penis. I'd trade half of my length for his technique if I could make my man feel like he made me feel.
O, a side to Dr Rock. Sorry me dear, but sometimes you DO feel like shouting. Sort of like the days when you just HAVE to wear green and blue striped shirts...
 

MsLulu

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First off, I would never tell a guy I dated "oh, by the way, my friend's BF needs HUGE GIGANTIC TELEPHONE SIZED CONDOMS."

If a guy were to tell me "yeah, Wally told me his GF needs to dress down because she's SO HOT and has the nicest ass in all the world and the most perfect breasts," I would be thinking...

"What the hell are you telling me this for?" Everyone has moments of insecurity and sometimes those stupid comments that are thoughtless and careless can sting the most.

I dunno, it just seems like common sense. Besides, does her friend want her talking about this guy's penis? Sounds private to me.

Second.... I dated a guy who was barely 4 inches hard. He knew it, he embraced it, he bought special toys (all shapes and sizes) to try on me. He loved trying. He did anything to please me. Most of the time, though, I preferred him... not some cold giant thing in me. Sometimes it was nice, but he was great at what he did (and had an AMAZING tongue.)

So, if it's really bothering you, just be honest with her about it. Tell her you're not sure why she brought it up, unless she was curious what it's like. If she says "well, yeah, I am curious..." then go shop for a toy and try it out.

One of the toys this guy bought for me was pretty big, and it was actually kind of hard to have the big O when he used it. When he took it out and dive in himself... I had the most intense O I'd ever had. Really strange.

Sorry if I am rambling. Just trying to throw some stuff out there for you all.

Lulu
 

Paul Vincent

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Hmm well I'm drunk but...I'm trying to dry fuck my gf. She's into it but wont let me touch her pussy with my hand WTF :p

She likes her tits played with though...The lessson here is just cos youre hung youre not guaranteed sex :(

Chin up ctulu, wish I could give my gf just one orgasm never mind multiples...
 

Freddie53

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Macgyver77 said:
Having a small dick and hanging around here isn't going to do much for your self esteem.
I got a whole lot more support here than I ever thought about getting at the samll dick forum. So far no one has said one ugly word to me about my size and I haven't ever made a secret that I am on the low side of average.

If your penis can control urine flow and can shoot when you want it too then you are in tip top shape. Your problems are emotional, not physical. There are plenty of 8 inch cocks out there that are impotent. Don't you think those guys would rather have a five incher that worked than an 8 incher that stays limp and can't achieve an erection much less shoot.
 

lrd1rocha

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Don't get upset about such things. In fact, you should consider yourself lucky compared to the cases of other guys. Personally I am not too terribly good endowed (I am average at best), but my achilles heal is that I have Multiple Sclerosis. I am an anomaly for MS as it usually affects middle aged women, and I am just 18 years old. The neurological condition has some effects on my erections that can be quite obvious. I haven't tried viagra, but I am just too embarrased to go to a drug store and ask for it.

In any case, size might provide an advantage, but you can compensante with technique and toys. If the other person is too stubborn and keeps bringing you down, you know what to do: strike back with the "I like bigger boobs argument."
 

MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

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Correct me if I'm wrong, and I might be, but from what I've inferred here, you're really only feeling insecure over the fact that your gf mentioned the condom size in relation to the endowment of the bf of her friend, and seems to have no overt desire to want have one of that size.
Plus, she has told you that your dick is the only one she likes, so why sweat it, and agonize yourself over this?

Her words, dude, "Stop being stupid, I really like your dick."

Listen to the woman, there, bro, if she was that hung up on wanting a bigger dick, she'd have done it by now.
You oughtta count your lucky stars that you got a woman who isn't so hung up on meek superficiality like that.
 

Freddie53

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The nursing homes are full of old men with 8 inch cocks that haven't seen an erection in years. Not only that their 8 inch penis doesn't tell them they need to pee anymore and they either sit in wet pants or wet diapers.

So what good is an 8 inch dick to them? None. On the other hand, there are guys with five inch dicks who can hold thier urine as long as anyone can. And the can fuck anybody to extreme extasy and shoot enough cum to impregnate every woman on the planet.

OK, I know the bladder is what really controls urine. Just an analogy.
Point is: it is not how big it is, but does is work and do you know how to be a pro first string quarterback when it comes time to using your penis in the bedroom, the car, back seat in church. (Just kidding) Can you keep your partner begging for more?

As long as you can do that, your partner is not going to be getting out a tape measure. they won't need or want it.
 

Cthulhu

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MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK said:
Correct me if I'm wrong, and I might be, but from what I've inferred here, you're really only feeling insecure over the fact that your gf mentioned the condom size in relation to the endowment of the bf of her friend, and seems to have no overt desire to want have one of that size.
Plus, she has told you that your dick is the only one she likes, so why sweat it, and agonize yourself over this?

Her words, dude, "Stop being stupid, I really like your dick."

Listen to the woman, there, bro, if she was that hung up on wanting a bigger dick, she'd have done it by now.
You oughtta count your lucky stars that you got a woman who isn't so hung up on meek superficiality like that.

The real reason I feel insecure is this:

My gf's friend used to be with a smaller guy and now is with the can-dig-a-tunnel-with-my-dick guy. And, with my freakishly rich imagination (don't forget, I 'm a published author), I made this scenario:

Konstantina (the friend) keeps talking about how great it is to fuch a larger guy, how much more she is streched over, how more intence are the orgasms and all that jazz.

Irene (the gf), although she feels happy with what she has, gets curious about the bigger, better experience. Or maybe a little jealous of her friends happyness. And maybe she things she really deserves the "bigger, better experience". Consequently, she either dumps me or cheats on me. Either way, I lose the woman I love over anything in the world.

So, that's my insecurity. Not whether my dick reaches a certain point on a tape measure. But losing my one and only true love for reasons I have absolutely no control on.

After all, if you're driving a honda civic and a friend of yours keeps telling you how great it is to drive a ferrari, how satisfied can you be about your little old car?

How would anyone here know? that's the Ferrari Support Group...
 

Cthulhu

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HickBoy said:
If she's shallow enough to dump you over the size of your cock you may be better off without her.

Easy to say, easy to comprehend, but when you love someone so much that it hurts, you 're scared to hell of losing them, even if they might not be the right one for you, even if they might be shallow or superficial or a whip-totting masochist

If you haven't felt this, maybe you 've never been really deeply in love
 

skybluedude

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I'd much rather drive my Saturn than a BMW...it's more fun, and a sexy blue color. As for penises, there are larger ones than mine, but my dick is the one that gives me fantastic feelings, and I like the look of it.
 

B_Hickboy

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I have felt the same, and I've been cheated on, as well as left for superficial reasons. These situations hurt me like nothing ever has, but they don't stop me from believing and falling in love. Love is not rational, and the time I spend dissecting it is time that could be spent doing it. :)

But believe me, after a lot of grieving, I can see where my life is better for having lost some people. I never like it when it happens, but what are my options? To contract and stop giving myself away? To live in fear that I'll lose the ones I love most? Not my style, and not the way I'm going to live.
 
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I used to be insecure myself, and as someone who was once there I know theres no one thing I can tell you that'll make you feel better. My insecurity wasn't with penis size but what I did was forcing myself to stop analyzing every word that comes out of every other persons mouth. Eventually the negative thoughts and ego bruisers stopped since I wasn't trying to harm myself by thinking negative, and all the good things that happened in my life began to add up, making me feel very good about myself.

Insecure people think very analytically, so think of it like this...if your GF really was a size queen she would not have stayed with you for 5 years, therefore your dick is very acceptable to her, and should be to yourself. If this guy is really that well hung, stop and think about who cares? You shouldn't, unless you want to do sexual things with him...your GF doesn't because she loves you and has been with you for 5 years. Girls can be very random, and will spew things out that men often don't want to hear.

You really shouldn't put any thought into the fact that she even mentioned it. My current GF was dating my best friend before we started going out (Talk about awkward), and for the first few months even though I conveyed that I didn't want to hear that he had a bigger dick than me she would randomly spit out bits of information "Oh he used those condoms too, his dick was about an inch bigger than yours". Now if anyone should be insecure it probably should have been me...my friend is Korean and very proud of having an 8" dick, I'm 7" and I hear her mentioning it quite often...not anymore though.

I got kind of side tracked, battling your insecurities is tough and I find that only myself can do it, other people trying to help me often made me think they're just trying to make me feel better, and it would add to negative thoughts. You need to self soothe and you'll over come these things.
 

KidBrown

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I don't understand what you are saying. Do you think she's trying to manipulate him in some way because of her comments about condoms? I don't feel as if she knows the mental effects of making a comment of penis size, especially if she's talking about someone being bigger than you are.

Here's something to consider though. People have a very tough time seeing what a guy is packing in the size department unless they actually see it in person. Certain guys have large balls, which can cause the illusion of a big penis, other guys are big but don't show too much, etc. But women have to deal with seeing girls with bigger chests all the time, you can't really hide them too well, haha. That could cause insecurity, right?

She's been with you for so long, she loves you and you're just over analyzing a simple comment in my opinion. Be happy and move on with your life together, ok?
 

MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

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Cthulhu said:
.


After all, if you're driving a honda civic and a friend of yours keeps telling you how great it is to drive a ferrari, how satisfied can you be about your little old car?

How would anyone here know? that's the Ferrari Support Group...

Only trouble is, only little dicked guys drives flashy cars like a porshe 911, or a ferrari. It's kind of a compensation syndrome.

I've read posts here somewhere where hung guys don't necessarily drive the biggest of cars.
If you check around here in the archives, you'll find a topic similar it.
 

Hung Low in Thiva

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Vrai pousti, exis tosso micro poutso? Na fepris ti gomana sto spiti mou, kai eyo tha ti yamiso me to megalo poutso mou. Oxi mono nesa ti mouni tis, kai nesa sto golo tis!