Feeling used after consensual sex

[Symphonic]

-shrug-

 

[Drifterwood]

That's an interesting viewpoint. My signature is a funny quote from a movie that I like. I'm not religious, my family isn't religious either.

OK, I feel a bit silly. I have encountered a number of people who have had problems reconciling their sexual nature with their sexual nurture. Pease though spare my nuts from Dolf. :smile:


I think it really boils down to the fact that I was 100 percent sure that I wanted to sleep with him. I did. And I feel like I went against my gut. And I regret that, feel guilty and used.

That does read strangely, being 100% sure and then it also being against your gut feeling. But if there weren't any consequences (apart from guilt and then feeling used, though I agree with MB in that I would call it regret or remorse rather than guilt) then I would chalk it up to experience, learn from it and move on.

 

[Wish-4-8]

I tried the sex buddy thing. Unless you are capable of totally separating emotion from sex, which not a lot of people can do, then the idea that
sex doesn't change anything between people is bullshit.

Sex changes everything. Try dating someone you actually have feelings for
and then see how sex is. Or it could be that you have more feelings for the
sex buddy than you want to admit, or can admit to him, and its churning
around inside you.

If thats the case then the best thing is either tell him that you feel more for
him than just lust, or end the deal.

I promise if you keep going the way you feel its going to go bad places.

To put it simply, you're a total cunt.

You want attention? Fine, I will entertain you for a second.

Do you realize that we pretty much said the same thing? So that makes you a cunt as well. Except you have a yeast infection that makes you not like to read. Because you would have read my turn around and my apology to the OP.

Why dont you read the WHOLE thread first before you start calling people names and become the thing you are accusing of people being?

 

[dolfette]

are your feelings all hurted?

 

[Wish-4-8]

are your feelings all hurted?

No, actually. I think its funny that this asshole is trying to say things to try to impress the ladies, as if that will get him laid here.

Then the fucktard doesnt realize that the only differance in what he said and I said is in style. Regardless of who is right or wrong, the OP was asking for Women's opinion. So he will always lose.

 

[Serial Kisser]

That does read strangely, being 100% sure and then it also being against your gut feeling. But if there weren't any consequences (apart from guilt and then feeling used, though I agree with MB in that I would call it regret or remorse rather than guilt) then I would chalk it up to experience, learn from it and move on.

Oops. I meant that I WASNT 100 percent sure =/

 

[Wish-4-8]

(another thread highjack)
Dolfette, I am American so I dont know currencies, but is that a lot of money?

 

[dolfette]

(another thread highjack)
Dolfette, I am American so I dont know currencies, but is that a lot of money?

about a thousand pounds.
very roughly, $2000

 

[Wish-4-8]

about a thousand pounds.
very roughly, $2000

Geez, then the only thing missing is the beer! lol
Hot babe, money, and booze. :smile:

 

[ManlyBanisters]

about a thousand pounds.
very roughly, $2000

You're living in the past, girl - more like 1600 bux. I fart in the general direction of your puny currency :tongue:

 

[dolfette]

You're living in the past, girl - more like 1600 bux. I fart in the general direction of your puny currency :tongue:

i said ABOUT a grand :tongue:

 

[Drifterwood]

Oops. I meant that I WASNT 100 percent sure =/

Don't tell me that two hours after :tongue:

I think you have a mild case of FrogKissingitis - you'll learn to live with it. I don't think that anyone has developed a cure or even preventative medicine.

 

[voidout]

Thing is: They aren't unreasonable. Avoiding the cause never produces a cure.

My only point in saying that was...whether the emotions are rational or not, it doesn't mean you don't feel them. Pointing out rationality when it comes to human emotions is completely redundant.

 

[voidout]

You want attention? Fine, I will entertain you for a second.

Do you realize that we pretty much said the same thing? So that makes you a cunt as well. Except you have a yeast infection that makes you not like to read. Because you would have read my turn around and my apology to the OP.

Why dont you read the WHOLE thread first before you start calling people names and become the thing you are accusing of people being?

is'ok. :smile:

 

[D_Ellerby Eatsprick]

So, can I ask you how the sex was? Was the sex good, exciting and fun? Or did it suck to the point where you thought "Just fucking cum and leave?" Was it with a person you were sexually / physically attracted to? How did the person treat you before, during and after sex? Did you know the person or was it just a random stranger? I have to ask you those questions because I'm going somewhere with this.

 

[Serial Kisser]

So, can I ask you how the sex was? Was the sex good, exciting and fun? Or did it suck to the point where you thought "Just fucking cum and leave?" Was it with a person you were sexually / physically attracted to? How did the person treat you before, during and after sex? Did you know the person or was it just a random stranger? I have to ask you those questions because I'm going somewhere with this.

It's kind of personal, so I'm just going to PM you if that's ok.

 

[boobsguy21]

best bet if u are having a one night stand....

try to use the other person, that way u dont feel used. because u are the user

i.e go to their house and leave right after lol.

 

[B_cigarbabe]

It's all a mental thing. Men can be the same way.

The feeling of bliss...then suddenly... remorse. The feeling of being cold. Alone.
Know it all too well.

Its something you need to mentally prepare yourself as well. Know that it's just sex. That's it. Nothing more.
With many of the people I have been with, half way through the deed...you can tell that it's only for one time - no matter how much they lie to you.
When I sense this...I switch to self pleasure for me. I'm there for me. If they don't respond, then I get up and leave.

If your having sex, and the people don't really want to do much with you after the deed - find different friends, because they aren't.

That is exactly what I would've said dear Rikter.:smile:
Well said my friend!

"When I sense this...I switch to self pleasure for me".

I just have to please myself and not them if that
is their attitude as Rikter so succinctly said.
I'm getting mine so you get yours {preferably elsewhere!}:tongue:
C.B.:saevil:

 

[B_Enough_for_Me]

take the chip on your shoulder somewhere else. honestly...

This was your entire contribution? Good call. Too bad the wizard isn't giving out a sense of humor.

Maybe she feels bad because she
really wants someone who gives a shit about her.

Reading feminist sociology doctrine into her situation isn't helping.

You should read it again. You would see that your position isn't at odds with mine. If she wants to not feel used then she should demand that who ever she sleeps with "gives a shit" (as was so eloquently put). This is the price in exchange for sex, or in addition to sex. It could be stated differently as the 'prerequisite to sex' as well; knowing the weak sensibilities of this board.


P.S.
-I modified your post so it made sense. It is fairly difficult to fit the word 'because' in a sentence twice.

- It's social economic theory, not feminist sociology doctrine (I don't know what that is).

 

[voidout]

Read the first god damn page people.

Just because she said "used" doesn't mean she's saying she WAS used or that it's rational or that it means "used" in the sense that she was just a booty call, and wanted more out of the situation.

She's just saying that she realizes, now that it's too late, and wishes she hadn't put herself in that situation. She wanted some fucking support FROM WOMEN to shake her emotions since she knew they were not reasonable.

To SK:

I always feel guilt. I feel guilty when it comes to anything sexual. I've cried after masturbating before, or sleeping in a guy's bed (nothing happened, he's a good friend and nothing more) because I've felt so guilty. For hours, mind you. It's not rational, I know all the things I should and should not be feeling, why, where it stems from, what makes me tick, etc...

but the thing is...as much as I know all this, it does not change it.
I don't believe in the things I know, yet. That's the difference, babe.

If you want we can talk about it further in the chat sometime or in PM's.
I know this thread, over run by people who don't understand that a human being (however rare) could not have some kind of ulterior motive, has been a bust.

for those who are too lazy to read the thread they're posting in.