Feelings of Inadequacy

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by lodlad, Apr 10, 2008.

  1. lodlad

    lodlad New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2008
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    My Dick is 6.5 x 5.5, which i know isnt tiny. But it seems small to me. Since the age of 16 (26 now) i always joked with a friend of mine saying that i was going to get surgery and go to america and become a porn star.

    I was always nervous about using showers with other guys because i felt i was so small, and i even developed shy bladder/pee shy which has caused all kindsa problems. I dont like going out cos i know id have to use a bathroom and i would be worried about not being able to go. Both of these i have worked really hard on and i can shower no problem and i can pee like 90% of the time.

    But my feelings of inadequacy have not gone away. Im now with a guy i love more than i have loved any one (2 years now). But being with him has heightened the problem as he is bigger than me. So seeing his every day makes it hard to just try and say fuck it and let these feelings go.

    He says im fine and he loves it and its fat. But i dont feel like i can really talk to him about it.

    As my own feelings have gotten worse ive started to not want his near me, nor see it. Which isnt fair seeing as this is my problem, not his. But when i speak to him he tells me about stories where people he had been with would run around work making gestures hinting at his size and even one telling people that its 9 inches.

    Ive tried talking to him about it and even tried to get him to measure it in the hope of making myself feel better (It not 9, but knowing would make me feel better). I know its bigger, and it wouldnt really make a huge difference me knowing the figures. But he seems deluded about his own size too! And mine.

    I measured mine, so i know how big it is. And he got offended when i said his must be about 7.5 no bigger than 8. He said "I think your giving me a little less credit than i deserve, and yourself. I think mines closer to 9". When a year ago when he told me what an ex said the 9 inch thing, he said to me that theres no way its that big! And it isnt. But theres no way of finding out for sure because he wont let me find out. The only way i was able to kind of measure him was with my hand. Finger tips to wrist and that says its about 7.5.

    Im finding myself thinking about my problem more and more everyday and i hate it. I guess being with him makes me a little jealous but its not that at the same time. It just makes me hate mine even more, which makes me dislike his because its bigger.

    Penis size is something ive been researching and reading about for a long while, and with him being bigger it has made the... well i dont want to say obsession.... but has made me more aware and sensative of my feelings about myself.

    According to Mr. Average - The true story about penis size, from a site that isn't trying to sell you anything.

    Im on the higher end of average with 4.4% of men having a 6.5 dick (11.5% with girth) (Out of 300 guys measured). Which made me feel a little better about myself.

    But if i could get surgery, i would feel a million times better. $3000 or so for an extra inch would erase all my self hate and maybe id like my penis. 7.5 would be a little more respectable.... in my eyes.

    My boyfriend knows that if i had the money i would go tomorrow and get it done. But feels like id be doing it to leave him and show it off to other guys. Its not for that reason at all. Its just a me thing. Even if... even though he is the only who is ever gona see it, i have to see it everyday... and his... which is why this problem will never go away with out a little snip of the ligs to help me out.

    Thanks for reading about how i feel about myself and reading my vent.

    Ciao for now!
     
  2. osiris0806

    osiris0806 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2008
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    0
    dude,


    from what i see on this site which is for large penises, 6.5 is plenty big. im 8X6.25 and i feel small it's all in our head
     
  3. lpsg17

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2008
    Messages:
    1,084
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    lodlad,

    I think you should start a PE program check out mattersofsize.com the gains are real it does take some time though
    Good Luck
    LPSG17
     
  4. lodlad

    lodlad New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2008
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I did try that for a short while, but its WAY to time consuming, leaves red bumps and takes forever to see any results. A year of pulling, and squezing for upto an inch. More work and time than id be able to put in!

    The only way id go would be to have the surgery. And that's something else ive done a fair amount of research on. Max gain is 1.5 inches. So if i even got 1 id be HELLA happy. But its just the money holding me back. Should start saving now!
     
  5. lpsg17

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2008
    Messages:
    1,084
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Yeh but even after the operation you have to do stretching and hang weights and it is a long term deal. Might as well do all that stuff and have some fun maybe you and your bf could do it together. I think it is kind of cool
     
  6. B_superlarge

    B_superlarge New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    977
    Likes Received:
    1
    Better yet, Thundersplace, it's a more down to earth forum.
     
  7. funnyguy

    funnyguy Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    723
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    30
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    Ye Gods! What an obsession. :eek: I feel so sad that you can't just enjoy one another and focus on your relationship-both your sharing of your life together and your sexual intimacy. I hope that is more important that a size comparison/competition. I understand that it is something that you will have to work through. I hope you are more open with him in sharing your thoughts. If not then you need some counseling. I really wish you good luck.
     
  8. B_boynextdoorkpt

    B_boynextdoorkpt New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2008
    Messages:
    944
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Isle of Palms SC
    OK, if you inadequate then I should be suicidal! I am 5 ft 6 my dick is almost 5 inches hard about 4 inches thick, now that is S M A L L !!!!! Dude, your with a guy that you love, he loves you or he would not be with you. I am young and inexperienced, but I do not think the size of you penis should matter in a relationship. Its the size of your heart.
    Isnt taht cheezy!
    Anyway, I feel like a 12 year old when I am in the gym shower at the Y! But, i have a good personality, I am smart, I love to laugh, so say what you want, I like me and my small dick!
     
  9. lodlad

    lodlad New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2008
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    The relationship is extremely important to me, and is fantastic. Were engaged and cant wait to get married. The sex is amazing! And my dick does serve me (and him) well. And ive never had any complaints. But its just something that has, since the age of 16, been on my mind.

    It is in no way a competition of size by any means. Like i said its me with the issue, not him. But it just makes me feel inadequate. Its enough for him, but not for me... ya know?

    Im sure its not as much of an issue as im making it out to be, but its something ive been thinking and reading about for 10 years on and off.

    Maybe i should try less drastic methods of PE and see what happens! But when i try and talk to him about this kind of stuff, he says he'll do it to. Which pisses me off. He has more than enough!!!!! And although in his eyes i do to... its just a personal thing that he cant accept nor understand.

    Should just try working on accepting myself. Or try PE'ing again. Im sat around doing nothing when im not off working, so id have plenty of time!!?? Hmmm...
     
  10. pern

    pern New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm much smaller than that and it doesn't bother me that much. Having a big penis is nice and everything but it's far from your most important attribute, come on get over it.
     
  11. B_Demention

    B_Demention New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2008
    Messages:
    589
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    I'm sure you know deep down that the only way to resolve this is to digest the facts and get over it to the point where you feel at peace with the situation. If you continue to let this eat at you, you're going to really jeopardize your relationship, and I assume that at the end of the day and despite any problems you two may have, you do want to go on with him. Leaving him and being with a 5 incher that you could lord over wouldn't solve anything, it would only be treating the symptom. Same thing with enlargement surgery. You need to privately accept the fact that there will always be someone bigger than you. Not that 6.5 is small - there are millions and millions of men who are smaller. In fact, the best penis size study out there (where men didn't volunteer for it and didn't measure themselves) showed the average size to be only 5.07''. The other thing too is that nearly all men wish they were larger. Many will say they're confident with their size, but over 99% of them would choose to magically add an inch overnight if they could. I'm prone to the occasional wishing myself, but at the end of the day I'm just happy to be quite big and totally functional.
     
  12. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    Its not the size of the cock, but what you can and know to do with it.

    It is all in your head. If you feel inadequate-- you ARE inadequate.
     
  13. blueocean43

    blueocean43 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2008
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    UK
    But why would you WANT it larger? Larger does not mean better, in fact, in general if it gets too large the sex just becomes painful.
    You boyfriend may not actually want a really huge cock up his ass (sorry for the crudeness). Even an extra inch may make it painful for someone with quite a tight behind.
    Anyway, you are already above average. Just think, that means there are over 1.5 billion people out there with smaller cocks than yours. You need to work on your self confidence, not your penis size.
     
  14. BlackBritishGirl

    BlackBritishGirl New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2008
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    London, England
    LodLord you know the worst thing? A friend of mine had small breast, she decided to have breast enlargement, had breast enlargement. After having her breast enlarge she still hated her appearance. She had previously told me that if she had breast enlargement it would change her life/make her happier. I reminded her of what she had told me and she said ''Yea but my nose looks too big now" etc etc.

    I use to feel embarrassed about having big breast so I considered having a breast reduction. I mean I was 15/16 years old and had 34 D Breasts. I spoke to my Doctor and he put me in touch with a great psychologist. Four years on and I'm happy I did not have a breast reduction surgery. I associated Big breasts with negative thoughts.

    I don't know maybe the ''Right'' type of therapy may work for you. I certainly know it has worked for me and now my small breasted/Silicone breasted friend who has come to realise surgery does not always fix everything.
     
  15. lodlad

    lodlad New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2008
    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks everyone. I have read many studies on penis size, and after reading that the average is about 5.7 or so... it is making me feel better, and im working on changing my way of thinking. There is only one person who is going to see it or get near it and he likes it, so guess i shouldnt think the way i do.

    Im a scorpio, so have an analitical mind... not to mention lots of self doubt. Im getting better, but might try PE'ing anyway. If it does something, it does something. If it doesnt, then ill just settle for what i got.

    I spoke to him about my feelings towards my lad and he supports me with what ever i want to do. Even if i wanted to get surgery (which i dont think i want to now [thoughts are changing already - see!!!]).

    Cheers people!
     
  16. viamanmax

    viamanmax New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2007
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    2
    Its awsome that he is so supportive of whatever you want to do, now that is whats really important.

    I feel the same way as you and I have no one right now.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted