My Dick is 6.5 x 5.5, which i know isnt tiny. But it seems small to me. Since the age of 16 (26 now) i always joked with a friend of mine saying that i was going to get surgery and go to america and become a porn star. I was always nervous about using showers with other guys because i felt i was so small, and i even developed shy bladder/pee shy which has caused all kindsa problems. I dont like going out cos i know id have to use a bathroom and i would be worried about not being able to go. Both of these i have worked really hard on and i can shower no problem and i can pee like 90% of the time. But my feelings of inadequacy have not gone away. Im now with a guy i love more than i have loved any one (2 years now). But being with him has heightened the problem as he is bigger than me. So seeing his every day makes it hard to just try and say fuck it and let these feelings go. He says im fine and he loves it and its fat. But i dont feel like i can really talk to him about it. As my own feelings have gotten worse ive started to not want his near me, nor see it. Which isnt fair seeing as this is my problem, not his. But when i speak to him he tells me about stories where people he had been with would run around work making gestures hinting at his size and even one telling people that its 9 inches. Ive tried talking to him about it and even tried to get him to measure it in the hope of making myself feel better (It not 9, but knowing would make me feel better). I know its bigger, and it wouldnt really make a huge difference me knowing the figures. But he seems deluded about his own size too! And mine. I measured mine, so i know how big it is. And he got offended when i said his must be about 7.5 no bigger than 8. He said "I think your giving me a little less credit than i deserve, and yourself. I think mines closer to 9". When a year ago when he told me what an ex said the 9 inch thing, he said to me that theres no way its that big! And it isnt. But theres no way of finding out for sure because he wont let me find out. The only way i was able to kind of measure him was with my hand. Finger tips to wrist and that says its about 7.5. Im finding myself thinking about my problem more and more everyday and i hate it. I guess being with him makes me a little jealous but its not that at the same time. It just makes me hate mine even more, which makes me dislike his because its bigger. Penis size is something ive been researching and reading about for a long while, and with him being bigger it has made the... well i dont want to say obsession.... but has made me more aware and sensative of my feelings about myself. According to Mr. Average - The true story about penis size, from a site that isn't trying to sell you anything. Im on the higher end of average with 4.4% of men having a 6.5 dick (11.5% with girth) (Out of 300 guys measured). Which made me feel a little better about myself. But if i could get surgery, i would feel a million times better. $3000 or so for an extra inch would erase all my self hate and maybe id like my penis. 7.5 would be a little more respectable.... in my eyes. My boyfriend knows that if i had the money i would go tomorrow and get it done. But feels like id be doing it to leave him and show it off to other guys. Its not for that reason at all. Its just a me thing. Even if... even though he is the only who is ever gona see it, i have to see it everyday... and his... which is why this problem will never go away with out a little snip of the ligs to help me out. Thanks for reading about how i feel about myself and reading my vent. Ciao for now!