Fell In Love With Your Best Friend

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by redvsblue35959, May 20, 2007.

  1. redvsblue35959

    redvsblue35959 New Member

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    A few weeks ago I started having dreams about me and my best friend having sex. I just wrote it off as lack of any sex. But they started happening more often, and they changed from sex to us in a relationship. I've always loved him but now I think I'm in love with him. Then after having these for a few weeks he stays at my house one night and I in bed with him just watching him sleep and I see all this stuff about him I never really noticed, and I've known him from around 3 years old. And I have no idea what todo. He don't know I'm Bi and I don't know if I need to tell him or just try to push it out of my head. I mean he has been like my brother and until these dreams started, I never looked at him like that. What do I do?
     
  2. cocktails69

    cocktails69 New Member

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    First of all - Is he bi? If so, fuck your brains out with him, your in lust not love.
     
  3. redvsblue35959

    redvsblue35959 New Member

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    Thats just I don't know if he is or not.
     
  4. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Well that seemed a wee bit harsh.

    I fell in love with my best friend too, but it was a slightly different situation, in that I'm a straight female and he's a straight male. So there wasn't THAT awkwardness. I ended up just having to tell him. It kept getting worse and worse. It got to the point where I cried every time I thought about it, and I couldn't hang out with him anymore, or talk to him online, or anything. He didn't have those feelings for me, which I already knew. But since he knows, it makes it easier to be around him without freaking out.
     
  5. cocktails69

    cocktails69 New Member

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    Yeah, so get him drunk and pop in a bi porno, see if it does it for him. Dont just ask him that'll freak him.
     
  6. txquis

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    Your entire scenario is exactly how i got my first boyfriend....see where it goes.
     
  7. redvsblue35959

    redvsblue35959 New Member

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    1st it take alot more to get him drunk than it does me.
    anyways I guess the main thing is im afraid of losing him as a friend if i tell him.
     
  8. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Tell him you're bi first, and see what his reaction is.
     
  9. fafnor

    fafnor New Member

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    I've been there too mate about 6 years ago - except, my best mate (still to this day) is perfectly straight.

    I accidentally fell hook line and sinker for him - and it tore me apart, as I was really worries about screwing up our friendship.

    I'd tell him that you're Bi for a start, if he reacts badly, then perhaps you aren't as close as you thought, If he reacts fine or indifferently, perhaps just ask him if he's ever felt the same way about men.

    Once he knows there is a chance you may fancy him, it should be able to gauge if there is any interest from his part

    From past experience though, the only way the feelings will subside is if you can find someone you like more, or fall out of love with him for some reason

    Nowadays, I am still good mates with my mate, but I don't feel that attraction any more, and as best I know, he doesn't know I ever felt differently.

    Always wish I hadn't fallen so badly for a straight guy though
     
  10. Beanie

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    I fell in love with my Friend too, he wasnt my best friend but i do know what you are going through. At the time non of my friends knew that i was gay and lets just say by the end every one knew and i had a lot less friends at the end.

    Im not trying to put you off and not saying that this will happen to you its just a waning that things like what happend to me could hapen and you need to accept it if it does go wrong.
     
  11. biguy2738

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    I fell in love with my best friend. When we first met, we immediately clicked and within a month or so, we moved from being friends to inseperable best friends. A couple of months later, I realised that I had fallen in love with her. We shared a very open and honest friendship, and I immediately knew that I had to tell her...not because I wanted to date her and see where it led us, but because I needed to maintain that openness and honesty. She is now my wife.

    In no way am I trying to make you think that your story will also have a happy ending, as it appears to be way more complicated than mine. I guess that what I am trying to say is, you need to figure out for yourself what the right thing would be...is it to be honest? Is it to be protect your friendship? Doing something because you believe it to be the right thing, will make living with your decision much more bearable.

    At the same time, I feel that I need to point out, that irregardless of what your decision may be, you really ought to consider letting him know that you are bi. Do you really want a friendship based on appearances, wondering when the truth will finally come out? If he is a true friend and your best friend, he ought to accept you for who you are and not for what he believes you to be.
     
  12. DarkAuron

    DarkAuron New Member

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    I've got a long story about the guy that used to be my best friend, though we no longer are friends because he's decided to be an asshole. See my thread about it for more info.
     
  13. dreamer20

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    You already have a friend who loves you and you are sexually attracted to him. You could have a sexual relationship with someone else and avoid the risk of possibly losing him. But if you want him you will have to ask him if he is interested in you sexually. He'll either say yes or no. You can proceed from there. Goodluck red.

    YouTube - wishin' and hopin'
     
  14. MovingForward

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    I came out to my best friend hoping that he was gay. Saddly he was not gay. Still though easy on the eyes.
     
  15. prince_will

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    I really agree with dreamer. I'm bascially in the same situation. I'm attracted to one of my good friends next door, but i know he's straight. Unless he came and kissed me or gave me some sort of sign that he is interested in me, i wouldn't do anything to risk our friedship. I like him too much to lose him over something like sex (no matter how hot i think it would be) Stuff like that can destroy relationships.

    It's really up to you. It's a big risk. Bascially, when you do it, there's no turning back.
     
  16. Principessa

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    There are a lot of threads on this site dealing with this exact topic.
    I am curious though...does the same thing ever happen to women who are lesbians or bisexual. Do they fall in love with their straight girlfriends? If so how do they handle it? It may help you and others facing the same issues to know.
     
  17. redvsblue35959

    redvsblue35959 New Member

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    TY most of you have helped still dont know what to do but i am going to tell him i'm bi for sure. He needs to know.
     
  18. Altairion

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    That's definitely the best step you can take right now. A lot of people gave good advice on that. I hope it goes well for you when you tell him.

    I get a feeling that you have somewhat strong suspicions about his sexuality, or that you hope he has similar desires as you do which is completely understandable. However, even by you coming out to him, if he is indeed bi or gay, he may not make that step as well. These things take time and I'm sure you've thought about yourself coming out to him for quite some time. Just tell him that you're bi, and see how things are between the two of you in a few days to a week before you try to make any other major decisions.
     
  19. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    WOuld you prefer to not say anything or would you prefer to have your feelings all out in the open no matter the consequence? I am such a chicken I probably wouldnt want to know.
    Meg. Im sorry it didnt work out for you. I know what you mean. I hate to be seen as a litter mate! LOL! I had one person tell me once I had "terminal friend" written on my forehead! :eek:
     
  20. Principessa

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    OUCH! I usually get told I am like a little sister; but lately I find myself rather firmly ensconced in the friend zone...I don't like it.
     
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