felt used and humiliated...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by wristthickxl, Jun 13, 2007.

  1. wristthickxl

    wristthickxl Active Member

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    Hi folks, wanted to share a recent experience to see if anyone here can relate.

    Last week, I hooked up with a hot, pretty well hung, guy who can't get enough of my cock orally. He is thrilled to suck me and he does it well and so I have enjoyed it.

    But the last time I went to his place, he had messaged me first asking if I knew of a glory hole in town. I said I didn't.

    When I got to his house, he lead me into a dark room where a pornofilm was playing on his computer. He said "no talking" and pushed me into the chair at the computer and started undressing me.

    I was amused at first. But then he disappeared under the computer table (pushed against a wall) and went to town on my dick....

    At first, I found it hot but actually wanted to interact with him, feel his dick, kiss him, etc, as we had in the past. But everytime I moved, he pulled the chair (on wheels) back to the desk. At one point, when I thought I was going to cum, I jerked away and he said, almost fanatically, "Stop. I am controlling this cock now."

    I eventually did cum but didn't feel good about it afterwards. I felt like I was only there because I have a huge cock. The dark room, the lack of interaction, everything pointed to the fact that he was having sex with my dick but not with me.

    I felt used and humiliated. Can anyone relate? Ever had anything similar happen?

    If it had been a one-time thing, I might have even been amused. But I had seen this guy already twice and he had acted differently then.
     
  2. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    You should never feel compelled to do anything that you are not completely comfortable with. If you don't like a situation then speak up.
     
  3. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    It may have been a fantasy of his to provide services at a glory hole. This situation made you feel really uncomfortable. So, before there is a next time, you two need to have a discussion. I liked the fact you wanted to interact with him too.
     
  4. biguy2738

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    I'm sorry to hear about your terrible experience. Though I have never had an experience like that, all I can say is though your sense of being used and humiliated is understandable. The shame really lies with him. What may be a turn on for one, can actually be disrespectful to the other. He is the one that displayed selfishness, disrespect and lack of sensitivity, don't allow his actions to be a reflection of you.

    Be gentle with yourself and let go of the shame...you didn't do anything wrong!
     
  5. jack99821

    jack99821 Member

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    I agree with biguy. You shouldn't feel humiliated anymore, now that you can think about it in retrospect. I don't think I would ever see this guy again if I were in your position. If someone uses you as an object like that, it generally means they don't have much respect for themselves. It's important to note that in that action, he was degrading himself to the point of self-destruction. If he had been confident with himself, he wouldn't have felt he had to be out of sight and "in charge" of your dick.

    I see that act more as him trying to show you his lack of self-respect, so that you will be hurt (rightly so of course) and turn away, thus confirming to him his belief that he isn't worth anything. So you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. He was merely doing what comes natural to him: self-degradation followed by someone cutting ties to him because of it, even though he himself caused them to do so.

    Reading that back it doesn't make much sense, but I hope you can sort of get what I'm saying. The fact that you were upset just shows you have a strong self image and some pride. Any other reaction would be truly humiliating, but yours only seems that way on the surface. In actuality it's about as correct as you can get, and you should be proud you're not stooping to his level.
     
  6. Matthew

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    I think he was just trying to enjoy his own fetishes.

    But, they don't work for you, so there you have it.
     
  7. PinkSteel

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    I've had sex with girls at all different levels as well. You after being with him should have a better handle on who he is than our opinion of him from your small story.
    I had a girl once who role played and it was great. And never the same.
    mabye you're in for one of those rides. Enjoy yourself, but if it doesnt' seem right, stop it.
    Is it the feeling of loosing control that bothered you.
    Talk it out.
     
  8. TxAg

    TxAg New Member

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    Well, it does sound like he was just into it for the physical thing. But since he did not do this the first two times, it might be that he was just acting out some kind of fantasy.

    Without knowing the depth of your prior two encounters (were they too essentially just physical), it's hard for me to say. But if he continues to act this way, then it's probably safe to assume his primary interest lies in your tool.
     
  9. fratpack

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    Usually role playing or some sort of fetish interplay is discussed ahead of time and limits are discussed as well as key or safety words, when the other party will know when to cease. The fact that he took it upon himslef to do this to you was wrong and yes, he did use you. Should you feel humiliated, NO! You should feel all the more better for being smart enough to get away from this guy. Just because this guy is hot, doesn't make him that great of a catch. And besides if he did this to you, he has more than likely done this to others. So walk away from this guy and find someone who is more than just a pretty face.
     
  10. Kimahri

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    Shame you had to go thru that. A lot of guys seem to have a fixation on big cocks and less on the men attached to them. I dated a guy for a bit that was hung big and he appreciated that I saw him as a person, not an object.

    I wouldn't see this character again, if possible.
     
  11. fortiesfun

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    It sounds like a bit of role playing to me. In the right circumstances I find it hot to have someone take control. Still, I don't see a reason to cut him off as much as to just tell him sometime that you didn't find it exciting and would rather have more intereaction.
     
  12. DC_DEEP

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    Matthew and fortiesfun have it exactly right - it was roleplaying/fantasy. Perhaps not your thing, but it certainly would have been better for you had you known what was going on.

    I'm wondering if he has done the gloryhole thing before, or if it was a fantasy he finally felt comfortable enough to do (since he actually knew who was "on the other side."

    Personally, it really does not do much for me, but if I was with someone I trusted in a private setting, I would probably indulge him. On the other hand, you could not ever possibly pay me enough money to visit a truly anonymous gloryhole.

    If you like the guy and think you would like to see him again (without that particular fantasy), talk to him about it. Be honest. And be open-minded.
     
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