Female advice needed

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Bootyman, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. Bootyman

    Bootyman New Member

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    OK, I'll go straight to the point... I had sex with my girlfriend (we've been together for almost 4 years now) early this morning, and I had a condom on (as always, she's not on the pill, don't need to go into details why not, it's not important either for me or for this issue) and after I ejaculated, and went to the bathroom to remove it, I noticed that there was sperm along the entire length of the condom/penis... yes, I know how to use a condom thank you :biggrin1: it's just that from time to time the space available at the top of the condom is simply not enough (there's been some discussion regarding this issue on this forum before)...

    My fear is, as you may already have guessed, that some of it might have (somehow) spilt before I removed my penis outside of her vagina... I know the chances are slim, but anyway...

    Her period started last sunday night (still a few hours left to full 7 days - I'm in Europe) and it "finished" /so to speak/ on thursday night, meaning we had sex approx. 2 days after her period was over... technically, her "fertile days" haven't started yet, and we should be on the safe side... can any of you girls confirm if my "math" is OK on this?
    We should be "safe" within the first 7 days after the period started right?

    Just to be on the safe side, I bought the "day-after pill" called "VIKELA" (Austrian product) for which she still has time to take, as it is stated to be effective within the 72-hour period after the "incident"... however, as you probably now, it is a strong hormonal product... it has serious potential side-effects, such as hormonal instability, potentially leading to permanent infertility (as stated by the pharmacist, though it is not stated in the instructions in tha packaging)...

    Your thoughts, opinions, advice? Much appreciated...:worried:
     
  2. new_n_curious

    new_n_curious New Member

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    Females with a 28 day cycle are fertile approx 14 days from the first day of their last period.
     
  3. new_n_curious

    new_n_curious New Member

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    The day after pill may not be a good idea if the reason she doesnt take the contraceptive pill is cos of the hormonal side affects.
     
  4. Bootyman

    Bootyman New Member

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    No, it's not that, it's just that she doesn't want to be on the pill... reasons are a bit complicated and would take a long time to explain, and are really not important... I don't mind anyway, I always use a condom, and it's OK... so, in a nutshell, there are no medical or physiological reasons she couldn't take the pill, she's simply a bit affraid of the side-effects...

    She has a bit longer cycle, every 30-31 days, but consistent... does it change anything to the statement you made or...?
    So basically we have nothing to worry about right? She's barely into her 7th day from the first day of her period...
    Am I getting this right?:redface:
     
  5. new_n_curious

    new_n_curious New Member

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    I would say that she is most fertile anywhere between 12 and 16 days from the first day of the last period.

    Most people suffer no ill affects from taking the pills, but the list of side affects on the packets is enough to worry anyone. (is an unplanned pregnancy worth the risk) only you as a couple can decide.
     
  6. new_n_curious

    new_n_curious New Member

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    The condom was probably tight enough to contain the contents.
     
  7. Bootyman

    Bootyman New Member

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    Cheers, thanks...:wink:

    Anyone else's opinions on this? :redface:
     
  8. Bootyman

    Bootyman New Member

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    Condom tightness is a problem for me in most cases :redface: but it might just turn out as an advantage this time...
    yeah, we'll see what to do anyway...
     
  9. ManlyBanisters

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    Not necessarily true - there is no hard and fast rule - whether the cycle is 28 days or more (or less) many women will be fertile well before day 14. There is no way of telling when she ovulates unless she has been watching her temperature closely (or similar method) for some time and even then it's not easy.

    That, however, is 100% true - I'm not asking why your gf does not take the pill but the morning after is a concentrated dose of the same 'stuff' (hi tech terminology, huh?) and if one is inadvisable for her the other surely is too.

    If it were me in your gf's position I wouldn't be concerned - over a year here and another year there I had fully unprotected sex in the first and last weeks of my cycle on several occasions and never got pregnant as a result. I also had a regular 30-31 day cycle at the time. However I am not your girlfriend and her cycle may look similar to mine on the surface but be actually very different.

    In your favour you did not have fully unprotected sex - you have a suspicion that you may have left a small amount of sperm in her. I think it is highly unlikely she will become pregnant - nothing is impossible - but it's a serious outside chance.

    In future, if condom leakage is a problem, you may want to consider a separate spermicide along with your condom use. A spermicidal gel, applied well inside the vagina before sex will give you an extra 'layer' of protection should any of your swimmers manage to sneak out of the wet suit again. :smile:
     
  10. ManlyBanisters

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    Well then there is most likely no harm in her taking the morning after pill - certainly no higher risk than there is for anyone else. (I think she is sensible to be concerned about the side effects of the pill, kudos to you for being supportive of that)

    There is no 'right', or 'wrong' for that matter - it's all highly subjective and variable - but I'll repeat what I said, I'd be really, really surprised if your girlfriend became pregnant from what you have described.
     
  11. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    If otherwise healthy and OK'd to take the pill, I would'nt hesitate to take the morning after pill. I keep "Plan B", the U.S. version of the morning after pill, in my nightstand. My Gyn (who is anti-hormonal BC) said it is very effective back up for condoms after a leak, break, or other accidents, when taken within the allotted time frame.

    If she does not want to take this brand or chance waiting, she can go to her Doctor tomorrow and get something else. I believe the alternative is a pack of pills with directions for dosing, but that may be different in Austria.
     
  12. Not_Punny

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    What ManlyBannisters said.

    However, my concern is for the future.

    It is not workable to have just ONE method of birth control.

    Condoms are only 94% effective on the average, which means that out of every 100 times you have sex, there are six chances that she will get pregnant.

    If your gf doesn't want to be on the pill, you REALLY need a back up method of birth control.

    If you don't want to start a family yet, and if you don't want to deal with abortion, and if your gf doesn't want to be on the pill, my recommendation is to use one or two of the following (in addition to a condom) --

    spermicide foam
    daily temperature (her temperature ALWAYS goes up when she's ovulating)
    IUD
     
  13. SpoiledPrincess

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    The risk of her taking the morning after pill isn't as high as the risks in being pregnant, giving birth or having an abortion. You should be ok, the maximum window of opportunity for getting pregnant is really quite small but if it's important to you that she doesn't get pregnant she'd be best to take the morning after pill - and then a few days later a pregnancy test.
     
  14. Principessa

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    That's true.
     
  15. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    The times when ive had an accident ive always taken the morning after pill regardless f where i am in my cycle. Our fertility peaks at certain times but pregnancy is possible at ALL times
     
  16. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    I would advise you to have her take the day after pill just to be on the safe side. There isn't any reason to have to go through the stress and worry of "what if" if you don't have to.

    I never had any problems because I was an infertility patient...(although I had no clue at the time....and I always did overkill.....like more than 1 birth control method at a time....)......but I have plenty of what I call "fertile Myrtel girlfriends that could get pregnant any time. Life is just too short to have to worry any more than you have to.

    Just my opinion

    And having a backup plan is a great suggestion.
     
  17. walla99

    walla99 New Member

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    My opinion would be to take the morning after pill to be on the safe side but be aware it is a concentrated form of the regular birth control pill.

    A woman is generally safe from pregnancy up to the 4-5th day of her period. The 14 day ovulation is just an "average" if you will not a rule but really varies...I went by this and thought I was "safe" having sex with a condom on day 8 of my cycle. I got pregnant. (am thinking the condom got put on a bit too late.) So I am proof that it can happen, even if not highly likely. Sperm can live for up to five days so you could have had sex on day 7 and she could ovulate on day 12.
     
  18. Jovial

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    But those statistics are usually for couples that say their primary form of birth control is condoms only. That doesn't mean they actually used a condom every time they had sex! People like to use that statistic to say condoms aren't effective, making it sound like they used a condom every time but still got pregnant.
     
  19. Bootyman

    Bootyman New Member

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    Thanks ladies and gents! I appreciate all your answers, and I think I have gathered more valuable pieces of information for us to compose a bigger picture... we still have time for the pill (it's been barely 24 hours) and we'll make the final decision today...
    Thanx once again, and I'll inform how it goes...:smile:
     
  20. SpoiledPrincess

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    Bear in mind that although you can take the morning after pill up to 72 hours the nearer the time of the 'accident' it's taken the more effective it is.
     
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