Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by Imported, Oct 12, 2003.
da_blissmachine: is it normal to be straight and not quite yet comfortable with the female body
Not if you happen to be a female.
ORCABOMBER: Hey Bliss, there's absolutely no problem in my opinion. Take your time, there's not exactly a rush to "cop a view" is there?
What exactly do you have a problem with, nudity, or somewhere specific?
[quote author=da_blissmachine link=board=health;num=1065998783;start=0#0 date=10/12/03 at 15:37:23]is it normal to be straight and not quite yet comfortable with the female body[/quote]
Entirely normal. You'll get used to the female body after a while.
yeah i hsould work on that being engaged and all
Bliss, talk about discomfort with the female form, I had never seen a real nude woman until my wedding night at the age of 24.
I surprised myself and faked it just fine.
(The problem is that God gave man a brain and a 'tool,' and only enough blood to run one at a time.)
sammygirly: I'm interested in hearing a little more on HOW you're not comfortable?
There are women who aren't comfortable with their own body's, so don't feel bad.
da_blissmachine: I have no problem with breasts, but the vaginal shots I've seen in porn are somewhat unnerving
sammygirly: Unnerving as in not appealing to the eye? Do you find the vagina unpleasant to look at?
Or perhaps, are you intimidated by not knowing what does what down there?
Tender: oh you mean the full shot spread eagle thing....
yeah kinda wierd when youre not used to it all...
word of advice,,,,
you do not strip her clothes off and lay her on the bed in full self conscience mode with all lights on and go at it.....
but you knew that... :
just take it all slow.
and hey who says you have to do the whole nine yards on the wedding night.....
you just do whatever is comfortable for you both and take your time. supposed to be sweet ya know.
chances are she will be just as much intimidated by it as you.
what you see in porn, Bliss, is sex.
you dont want sex.
you want to make love.
hope some of this applies to what you are thinking....
The vagina is your friend....
major blush here.
da_blissmachine: it has more to do with my childhood........ :-X
Tender: well im sorry Bliss...
whatever it is,
((hugs)) to you
and hope it gets better.
da_blissmachine: yes.... so much goes back to the childhood doesnt it?
anyway, is there a way to get more comfortable? Porn is just ishy anyway
rainfletcher: Sammy, that's the funniest damn picture I've ever seen...and all the funnier with the caption! Indeed, the vagina is MORE than just my friend, it's my make-out partner, too!! ;D
Bliss, I had the same experience. I remember, I was in high school, and I'd seen my share of playboys, but they're pretty harmless. Trimmed up pussies without a lot of 'show.'...Then, I was house sitting for a neighbor, and they had Penthouse laying around....Holy SHIT was that a different view of things! I had all kinds of icky thoughts about it...
But let me assure you, I am madly in love with my girlfriends vagina. I love to kiss it, hold it, touch it, make love to it - I can't begin to tell you. I'm infatuated with it, mesmerized by it. One of my favorite things is to shave her, because it lets me get 'up close and personal' with her vagina!
It's to the point where I think it's the most beautiful thing on earth. I tell her all the time, "Roses would be envious of your petals! No flower in the WORLD is so beautifully endowed!" And I really mean that!
It takes time. If you love your partner, you will come to love everything about her! Including (and ESPECIALLY) her 'yani'!
[quote author=da_blissmachine link=board=health;num=1065998783;start=0#8 date=10/13/03 at 16:23:35]
"I have no problem with breasts, but the vaginal shots I've seen in porn are somewhat unnerving."
This is one area of "answering" that I wish all us guys here would REALLY be honest....
Truth is...virtually every guy will find his initial experiences (i.e. getting used to the female body) a bit unnerving, strange, even ackward. Unfortunately, many of us men would never admit to that!
I personally believe you are perfectly normal to feel the way you do, --uncertain and a bit apprehensive.
Don't let this spook you...or, discourage you.
And yes, "porn" will only set you up for some false expectations (to some degree) as you begin this new venture in life.
I say this only to point out that what you see in those videos comes with much practice and familiarity.
To expect yourself to be that much "at ease" in the sex act right away is unrealistic and not all that "healthy" for you emotionally. It could even set you up for some performance problems and challenges.
Those... you don't need!
Your financee could be equally facing some new realizations in all this, too. So, you BOTH will be learning about one another over a period of time. This is not necessarily "as it should be" but more like HOW IT HAS TO BE. -- You simply can't expect total perfection or a "polished" sexual repertoire as you're starting out life as a couple. (Really, few couples can at the very beginning. Even those with prior "experience"--whatever that would mean, would need some time to get used to one another).
Part of the fun in a new (intimate) life together is the "trial and error", and to some degree, "the fun of experimenting". Even if you knew your way all around the female anatomy right away, there would still be some new frontiers to explore and conquer.... (You know, the same goes for her, too about YOUR body.)
I don't necessarily know what you meant about "your childhood" complicating / clouding your degree of being comfortable with the female body. I can only suggest that you now seek to put all those past (troubling?) notions far behind you. Determine that as a mature man, you will need to seek ways to bring pleasure to your bride and not focus on what you will get out of sex. Sure. Your enjoyment will come... all in good time. Often, the challenge for guys is accepting their role to please their mate. Before "settling down", many guys are (unknowingly) selfish in their attitudes about sex. It's all about "them", --not the woman. That line of thinking HAS to change in a committed relationship.
Show willingness to please her and learn all about her body and what she desires from you. Given time, you'll be in the league of the best lovers out there and your bride will cherish you all the more. But understand here, friend--your sex life is a MUTUAL effort mastered by the BOTH of you. Get it? Both the husband and the wife are in effect "learning" about each other's bodies over a long period of....(here we go) ---TIME.
One other note: I acknowledge that I earlier here "poo-pooed" outright porn. But, there are some good videos out there (yes, detailed, graphic, and yes,with nudity but, NOT lewd or pornographic!) which illustrate ways for couples to be intimate and learn about their bodies and the different techniques for "meaningful sex". Down the road, these videos could help enhance your married life (should you both desire some "guidance" and new learning direction.) You can keep that idea on the back burner though, for now. No doubt, you will have sufficient (naturally instinctive!) ideas and methods to come foreward on their own---all in good time, just like other men. (You'll probably wind up amazing yourself, not to mention her!) You'll be fine.
And, btw---"best wishes" are very much in order!
ORCABOMBER: Yeah, Bender, you've done it again. Serously, considered going "pro?" I think that's good advice for just about anyone.
Bliss, I know what you mean, when I 'started' I didn't really find "downstairs" really appealing, I mean, no offence to women, but it just isn't beautiful in the same way is it?
But as said, take your time, I know I sure am! ;D
Sammy, you IS EVIL! *Has strong urge to kiss the eyes as well as the lips*
prepstudinsc: Sammy, that picture is hysterical!