Female dominance

merc41

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Ok ladies I have always been the dominante partner in our marraige. My wife is very vanilla so it has been up to me to keep things fresh,new and exiting. With the primary focus on her pleasure. The problem is on occasion I would like her to assume the dominante role. Not often but occasionaly. I would love to be her sex slave,or be tied up or even be pegged. We have fooled around anally on me but it has always been at my direction. Am I asking too much or should I just keep being a dominate/sub on occasion?
 

LaFemme

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If it’s not her thing, it’s not her thing. You can ask, but if she really isn’t into it would it still make you happy?

When I was younger, I’d do a lot of stuff just to make my partner happy - even if it turned me off, or even made me think less of him. Now I’m more honest with partners and myself. Sometimes I’m willing to compromise on things and sometimes I’m just not. Take it or leave it. Talk to me about it, but I’m going to be totally honest with you.

Just talk to your partner. If she’s doesn’t want to, so be it.
 

Holly Doors

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Exactly what @LaFemme said hunni,

Myself I love being dominant and often play out the role of being a dominatrix with my husband and other couples but I'm only dominant over the others, my husband is and always will be the dominant one over myself and that's the way I want it. The situation works brilliantly for our relationship, I'm not suggesting you do the same I don't think your wife sounds like the type to bring other people into the equation but it works for us X
 
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Not everyone is into Dominance and submission. Some, like myself aren't into a particular role with specific individuals. I'm a switch, but my love, my partner, I could never be comfortable being dominant to him.

You can still have quite a varied, fresh, and innovative sex life without it including D/s. My love is generally vanilla. I am decidedly a very deep, dark chocolate by comparison. We make it work ;)
 
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My views in the bedroom are similar to my views on food... good simple ingredients when well executed are fantastic. A nice medium rare ribeye with baked potato and asparagus, all seasoned with salt & pepper, is one of my bedrock favorite meals. It's hard to go wrong. You don't need fancy sauces or accompaniments to be delicious. Not saying that I don't want blue cheese crust or oscar style or hollandaise sauce on occasion, but 9 times out of 10, I'm completely satisfied with simple. Same thing with sex. Paying attention to each other while hitting the basic moves is great. I don't need gymnastics or accessories... most of the time. ;)

If your wife likes vanilla, she likes vanilla. Pressuring her to try the toppings won't make her enjoy sprinkles. Creating a safe space for her to experiment and explore AT HER PACE may make her want to try the chocolate sauce. Communicating your desires while reinforcing that her choice/timeline is the first step.
 

Enid

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Well, all you can really do is talk to her. Introduce some erotica involving females in dominant roles and ask her how she feels about that, maybe. Thing is though, you gotta let her move at her own speed like @lurker23 said. Some women don't feel comfortable in those roles right off the bat because of upbringing or whatever. IF she is into it, she needs to have a safe space in which to explore.
 

merc41

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Thanks for the insite. I really feel that if she would explore a little she may find sex outside of what she considers norm very pleasurable. This is aside from the female dominant role on occasion. I am not talking anything extreme because I am not an extreme type of lover. We have been married along time and sometimes you have to change things up to keep things fresh.