• Welcome To LPSG
    Welcome to LPSG.com. If you are here because you are looking for the most amazing open-minded fun-spirited sexy adult community then you have found the right place. We also happen to have some of the sexiest members you'll ever meet. Signup below and come join us.


Female Friend Taken Advantage Of

denton85

Verified
Gold
Joined
Aug 17, 2009
Posts
223
Likes
31
Points
213
Location
Port Jefferson Station (New York, United States)
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
My Friend, and my GFs friend was taken advantage of. She is my GFs Best Friend.

I've known this girl for longer than i'm about to make it sound. Back when i was in High School she was my High Schools GF's best friend. Then once i went to college, i lost touch with her for a long long time. Until i was bar hopping almost 2 years ago, and i re-met her, and her new Best Friend. Who i'm now seeing for a while.

She has a classic drinking problem. She comes from a broken home and a brother that is a drug addict/ dealer/ all around dirt bag (her words and description). All of these things have led to her being a very personalty/ emotionally withdrawn individual. To be honest she reminds myself of a female version of myself. However she has a genetic influence of alcoholism. (something that i'm sure if was in my blood i'd be a full blown alcoholic) . Each and every time i've been out with her drinking either me or my GF had to take care of her.

(in fact the first night that we re-met with my current GF she was "aiming" to hook up with me, instead i made out with my girl, and she projectile vomited on my Best Friend. Pretty funny scene really.)

But now to the point.

She just graduated from college a year ago. She is in that awkward stage of not knowing what to do, especially within this bad economy. Working jobs she hates.

Up until 2 months ago, she was in fact a virgin. She's had nothing but bad luck with guys. Probably because of her emotional detachment that is uncharacteristic of most women, and her drinking problem. I met up with old college friends that brought along a good guy. He flirted, with my friend. And they started to date and see eac hother afterwards. She then lost her virginity to him. (yes she told him, she is older than him. He's 21 and she just turned 23, and she didn't think it was right to lie to him.)

1 Month ago he went off to London to study abroad they didn't make their relationship official, they decided to wait until afterwards to see how things work out. (a realistic view in my opinion.) He's been doing his own thing going out and having fun, but would always come back and talk to her online afterwards. Being faithful .... even though they weren't officially a real couple.

A few days ago she went to visit 2 college friends she went to school with. Both of them men. She has gotten drunk and hung out with them countless and countless of times though out her college career. All the times ending with her just passing out and nothing else happening.

However this last time, she had too much to drink, and blacked out. But the things she did remember was them telling her to take off her top and her refusing. Then she remembers waking up in the bathtub naked (shower head on waking her up) and one of the guys trying to make her give her head. Then the next thing she remembers is early the next morning one of the guys attempting to penetrate her ... in which she eventually realized what was happening, threw him off, got dressed and drove home.....

What i've told you is all i know. The details are few and far in between. We bought her Plan B just in case. And had advised her to get tested for STDs. (Even though we are 99% sure there was no vaginal sex cause after the first time she had sex she was sore for a while, and she was not sore at all this time, but this is not a situations you should take chances. ) She has free counseling from the job my girl got her, and we have told her to see them.

She has had the usual reactions (i have a degree in psych) she feels shame, and guilt. My girl has been trying to talk to her... (she lost her own virginity in a rape when she was in her early teens).

She Facebooked messaged the guy she has been seeing and told her what happened. She felt obligated to tell him the truth because he's been faithful, and she really likes him, and wants a future with him, and the only way that can continue is with the truth. .... but sadly after she sent the Facebook message he has not responded, or talked to her. (keep in mind the cost of overseas messaging and cell phone charges are too crazy to maintain in general)

By this point 95% of peopel have stopped reading/ caring, but i don't know what to do. I've done the usual friend thing with my girl. I want to help her more with the abuse she had gone through, and with her relationship problem that it has happened. But from JUST a friend point of view we are doing what we can do. However... i want to do more... but not sure how

I want to maybe fix this relationship but i doubt it would be appropriate to message this guy that i barely know through friends and try to figure out why he hasn't talked to her yet.

I know that he might be either A. Angry that she got taken advantage of, or B. Feeling insecure or just C. Doesn't even know how to react.

I'm looking for all good advise really.
 

Wish-4-8

Sexy Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2008
Posts
2,721
Likes
25
Points
123
Location
LA, California
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Just be supportive. Listen more than give advice. If she wants to follow up and press charges against the guys at the party, be there for her so she doesnt do it alone.

Really, thats about all you could do, or need to do. She is a big girl and should learn from that. Yeah, drinking will impair your judgment and eventually put you in bad situations and cause you to lose the things you really care about. So, is it worth it?

Thats the message that you hope she will realize. You cant nag her about it. Maybe, the two of you can find some other non-alcoholic activities to do together. Be a good friend and a good influence.
 

denton85

Verified
Gold
Joined
Aug 17, 2009
Posts
223
Likes
31
Points
213
Location
Port Jefferson Station (New York, United States)
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
We didn't even talk about the 'drinking" aspect of it. We are being supportive every step of the way and just trying to be their for her. She isn't planning on pressing charges. We voiced out opinions in favor of pressing charges, but she decided not to because she thinks it would just be a battle of they said she said argument.....

i've known a few girls who have gotten take advantage of or even raped, but it was after the fact. This is the first time i've known the girl during the abuse has happened....

i just want to do more..... even considered calling in friends who know people who could take care of them.... and to be honest... i'm still considering it .... but i know it's wrong... so i wont...

I have this saying WWCPD (what would Captain Picard Do, and yeah i'm a big geek, but it's helped me out of my dark stages, and helped me through my heavy anger problems)

*sigh*
 

dolfette

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,312
Likes
92
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
poor girl!
and what utter arseholes to do that.
i hope she decides to stop drinking now. it's just not safe to get into that state, even around men you think are your friends.

you can't fix this relationship. he either decides to be there for her or he doesn't. it's his choice, not yours.
 

kit_kat

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2009
Posts
127
Likes
3
Points
53
Location
Sweden
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
FGOMES85: You are a stupid and completely useless friend - I can't believe you didn't even tell her to go to the hospital or the cops. You idiot! With friends like you this woman does not need enemies.:mad:

If you are the kind of friends she has, no wonder she's drinking. You moron!

That said.


The first thing she should have done is go to the hospital so they can give her a rape kit. The second thing she should have done is press charges. That was at the very least sexual battery which is a felony with jail time.

Right now what she should do is go to the police and make a report. Then she should go to hospital and get herself checked out in case any evidence can be retrieved.

The American Bar association has pro-bono lawyers who can work with women in cases of battery and can advice her on how to proceed.

Make no mistake this is a very serious situation and those "friends" of hers need to go to jail.

Perhaps part of why she's drinking is because she's surrounded by worthless friends like you (who can't give her any good advice) and those guys who rape her.

A lot of women don't understand that if something like this happens to you, you cannot be "nice" or "understanding" you must go extreme terminator and do your best to destroy the perpetrator without breaking the law, so that you can come out feeling a little bit less like a victim, otherwise you jeorpadize your chances of any kind of recovery from this trauma. Ladies, when someone does this to you that person is the kind of enemy whom you must destroy or at least do your best to - all within the law. In a simplified version when someone punches you and you punch them back you feel better, if you take it in silence you'll never be able to forget the punch.

To bad she doesn't have any real friends who could have adviced her properly. Instead she has people like you. Loser!

Meanwhile, she won't be able to have any kind of relationship for a long long time. If you want to be any kind of friend, advice her to take the following steps:

Police, hospital, lawyer, pscyhiatrist.


And you are total twit for not being able to advice your friend better, idiot! In fact you should stop calling yourself her friend.:mad:


My Friend, and my GFs friend was taken advantage of. She is my GFs Best Friend.

I've known this girl for longer than i'm about to make it sound. Back when i was in High School she was my High Schools GF's best friend. Then once i went to college, i lost touch with her for a long long time. Until i was bar hopping almost 2 years ago, and i re-met her, and her new Best Friend. Who i'm now seeing for a while.

She has a classic drinking problem. She comes from a broken home and a brother that is a drug addict/ dealer/ all around dirt bag (her words and description). All of these things have led to her being a very personalty/ emotionally withdrawn individual. To be honest she reminds myself of a female version of myself. However she has a genetic influence of alcoholism. (something that i'm sure if was in my blood i'd be a full blown alcoholic) . Each and every time i've been out with her drinking either me or my GF had to take care of her.

(in fact the first night that we re-met with my current GF she was "aiming" to hook up with me, instead i made out with my girl, and she projectile vomited on my Best Friend. Pretty funny scene really.)

But now to the point.

She just graduated from college a year ago. She is in that awkward stage of not knowing what to do, especially within this bad economy. Working jobs she hates.

Up until 2 months ago, she was in fact a virgin. She's had nothing but bad luck with guys. Probably because of her emotional detachment that is uncharacteristic of most women, and her drinking problem. I met up with old college friends that brought along a good guy. He flirted, with my friend. And they started to date and see eac hother afterwards. She then lost her virginity to him. (yes she told him, she is older than him. He's 21 and she just turned 23, and she didn't think it was right to lie to him.)

1 Month ago he went off to London to study abroad they didn't make their relationship official, they decided to wait until afterwards to see how things work out. (a realistic view in my opinion.) He's been doing his own thing going out and having fun, but would always come back and talk to her online afterwards. Being faithful .... even though they weren't officially a real couple.

A few days ago she went to visit 2 college friends she went to school with. Both of them men. She has gotten drunk and hung out with them countless and countless of times though out her college career. All the times ending with her just passing out and nothing else happening.

However this last time, she had too much to drink, and blacked out. But the things she did remember was them telling her to take off her top and her refusing. Then she remembers waking up in the bathtub naked (shower head on waking her up) and one of the guys trying to make her give her head. Then the next thing she remembers is early the next morning one of the guys attempting to penetrate her ... in which she eventually realized what was happening, threw him off, got dressed and drove home.....

What i've told you is all i know. The details are few and far in between. We bought her Plan B just in case. And had advised her to get tested for STDs. (Even though we are 99% sure there was no vaginal sex cause after the first time she had sex she was sore for a while, and she was not sore at all this time, but this is not a situations you should take chances. ) She has free counseling from the job my girl got her, and we have told her to see them.

She has had the usual reactions (i have a degree in psych) she feels shame, and guilt. My girl has been trying to talk to her... (she lost her own virginity in a rape when she was in her early teens).

She Facebooked messaged the guy she has been seeing and told her what happened. She felt obligated to tell him the truth because he's been faithful, and she really likes him, and wants a future with him, and the only way that can continue is with the truth. .... but sadly after she sent the Facebook message he has not responded, or talked to her. (keep in mind the cost of overseas messaging and cell phone charges are too crazy to maintain in general)

By this point 95% of peopel have stopped reading/ caring, but i don't know what to do. I've done the usual friend thing with my girl. I want to help her more with the abuse she had gone through, and with her relationship problem that it has happened. But from JUST a friend point of view we are doing what we can do. However... i want to do more... but not sure how

I want to maybe fix this relationship but i doubt it would be appropriate to message this guy that i barely know through friends and try to figure out why he hasn't talked to her yet.

I know that he might be either A. Angry that she got taken advantage of, or B. Feeling insecure or just C. Doesn't even know how to react.

I'm looking for all good advise really.
 
Last edited:

dolfette

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,312
Likes
92
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
FGOMES85: You are a stupid and completely useless friend - I can't believe you didn't even tell her to go to the hospital or the cops. You idiot! With friends like you this woman does not need enemies.:mad:
he DID tell her he thought she should go to the police.
he said so in the second post.
but she is one of those people we call ADULTS.
it's up to her if she wants to do those things or not.
it's not his job to force her.

you sound like a rabid mouth foamer in this post, doll.
We didn't even talk about the 'drinking" aspect of it. We are being supportive every step of the way and just trying to be their for her. She isn't planning on pressing charges. We voiced out opinions in favor of pressing charges, but she decided not to because she thinks it would just be a battle of they said she said argument.....
 

kit_kat

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2009
Posts
127
Likes
3
Points
53
Location
Sweden
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
One more thing if I were her, I would write letters to the parents of the guys involved and tell them what happened and how it made her feel. I would also try to sue the guys and their parents to pay for mental health care.
 

kit_kat

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2009
Posts
127
Likes
3
Points
53
Location
Sweden
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
Dolfette: I am a kind of person who gets very angry when people do bad things to other people and the by-standers just stand-by or act all helpless and ineffective.

If I were going to be a rabid foamer, I would have added a lot of the choice curse words that were going through my mind.

he DID tell her he thought she should go to the police.
he said so in the second post.
but she is one of those people we call ADULTS.
it's up to her if she wants to do those things or not.
it's not his job to force her.

you sound like a rabid mouth foamer in this post, doll.
 
Last edited:

kit_kat

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2009
Posts
127
Likes
3
Points
53
Location
Sweden
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
FGOMES85: You could also go to the police with your concerns yourself.


We didn't even talk about the 'drinking" aspect of it. We are being supportive every step of the way and just trying to be their for her. She isn't planning on pressing charges. We voiced out opinions in favor of pressing charges, but she decided not to because she thinks it would just be a battle of they said she said argument.....

i've known a few girls who have gotten take advantage of or even raped, but it was after the fact. This is the first time i've known the girl during the abuse has happened....

i just want to do more..... even considered calling in friends who know people who could take care of them.... and to be honest... i'm still considering it .... but i know it's wrong... so i wont...

I have this saying WWCPD (what would Captain Picard Do, and yeah i'm a big geek, but it's helped me out of my dark stages, and helped me through my heavy anger problems)

*sigh*
 

dolfette

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,312
Likes
92
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
kit_kat, she has had quite enough choice ripped from her hands!

if her friends don't respect that her no means no then what will that do to her mental state? that's a very clear message that her saying no means nothing to them either.

her friends are being supportive, listening to her, helping out, and that's exactly what they should do. they've offered their advice and she, being an ADULT, has CHOSEN not to take it.

i feel sorry for any friends of yours. truly. having your life bulldozed by some do-gooder control freak is traumatic.

IT'S NOT HIS JOB TO RUN HER LIFE!
 

kit_kat

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 10, 2009
Posts
127
Likes
3
Points
53
Location
Sweden
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
dolfette: My friends are very happy to have me in their corner, and they have told me so explicitly.


kit_kat, she has had quite enough choice ripped from her hands!

if her friends don't respect that her no means no then what will that do to her mental state? that's a very clear message that her saying no means nothing to them either.

her friends are being supportive, listening to her, helping out, and that's exactly what they should do. they've offered their advice and she, being an ADULT, has CHOSEN not to take it.

i feel sorry for any friends of yours. truly. having your life bulldozed by some do-gooder control freak is traumatic.

IT'S NOT HIS JOB TO RUN HER LIFE!
 

Gillette

Sexy Member
Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Posts
6,210
Likes
74
Points
193
Age
50
Location
Halifax (Nova Scotia, Canada)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Dolfette: I am a kind of person who gets very angry when people do bad things to other people and the by-standers just stand-by or act all helpless and ineffective.
Well they'd hardly be bystanders if they didn't.

FGOMES85: You could also go to the police with your concerns yourself.
How does that work? He has no evidence to present. The only way for anything to happen would be for the police to talk with her, something she has already stated she doesn't want to do. I believe forcing on her something she didn't want was the problem in the first place.

You owe FGOMES85 an apology for all the insults you've thrown at him.
 

dolfette

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,312
Likes
92
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
How does that work? He has no evidence to present. The only way for anything to happen would be for the police to talk with her, something she has already stated she doesn't want to do. I believe forcing on her something she didn't want was the problem in the first place.

You owe FGOMES85 an apology for all the insults you've thrown at him.
exactly!

and fgomes85 sounds like he's doing all the right things. kudos to him for being such a caring and supportive friend.
 

dolfette

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,312
Likes
92
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
I got bored...
and boring.

............................................................

fgomes85, if you asked her first it would be ok to message him. a friendly offer of ''would you like me to try talking to him?'' maybe, if you don't think it'll upset her.

giving it more thought, maybe he'd find it easier to talk to a guy. he might just be worried that he'll say the wrong thing or not be able to hold his temper.

...but if he's just going to ignore her when she's in pain then is he really the right man for her to be with, when she's obviously so vulnerable?
 

dolfette

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,312
Likes
92
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
Last edited:

dolfette

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,312
Likes
92
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
Looks like you're talking about yourself.
see? i could have hours of fun frustrating your desperate need here,
but instead i'm going to put you on ignore, because i'm pretty damn sure you'll never say anything contractive.

my apologies that your reply to this will go unmocked.
 

DecoyMAX

Lurker
Joined
May 9, 2009
Posts
55
Likes
0
Points
91
Location
On an Island
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
One more thing if I were her, I would write letters to the parents of the guys involved and tell them what happened and how it made her feel. I would also try to sue the guys and their parents to pay for mental health care.

It must be nice living in your imaginary world.
 

dolfette

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Posts
11,312
Likes
92
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
indeed.
i too fail to see how it's the responsibility of the parents what an adult son does. it would be laughed out of court.
 

AlphaSpartan

Experimental Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2010
Posts
124
Likes
6
Points
53
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I say "tame" them and neuter them like the animals they are... so long as they attack first I believe you'd be within the law. Scum that take advantage of drunk women don't deserve pleasure... or life for that matter.
 

ConstantComment

Experimental Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Posts
542
Likes
3
Points
103
Location
Europe
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I found myself in a similar situation -- that is alcohol, allowing myself to be alone with a man and there you go. In your friend's case, I would say this:

1. If you have noticed that her drinking is a problem, then others probabaly have too. It will ruin any case she has against these guys. And worse, it will be on record that she has a drinking problem. this will ruin her credibility in situations going forward. To punish these two guys, she needs to ask herself, is it really worth it?

2. She should look at this as a wake up call. She needs to control her drinking and also to take note of that point when a guy you conisdered a friend has jumped the track. In this case, it sounds as if she had drunk normal alcohol, not any of these potent chemicals. Or, is there something else we should know.

I can remember a few moments in college, whew, scary. Once I had gone to a party in the men's dorm and decided visit a guy I was friendly with. He had a buddy there and I stayed to partake of his libations. There was a moment when I could see that they were both looking at me and suddenly I felt as if I were in a Bugs Bunny cartoon like a pig on a roast......I knew it was time to leave. I would really like to see women take more responsibility for their behavior and to learn to be more perceptive when dealing with others.....that includes men.

3. She should also know that in a date rape case the campus will square off and some of the women, for whatever reason, will not be supportive of her as much as some of the men. Does she really want that kind of agro and to have her name attached to a date rape trial.

4. she should learn that there is a lot strength in just simply moving on. In excising these men from her life. IF their names come up, she can say that yes, they're bit aggressivve and not very trustworthy without having her name attached to drinking too much herself.

5. In short, she should heal on her own. Go to counseling if she needs it but a very public trial in which she's going to have endure character assination, is it really worth it?