My Friend, and my GFs friend was taken advantage of. She is my GFs Best Friend.
I've known this girl for longer than i'm about to make it sound. Back when i was in High School she was my High Schools GF's best friend. Then once i went to college, i lost touch with her for a long long time. Until i was bar hopping almost 2 years ago, and i re-met her, and her new Best Friend. Who i'm now seeing for a while.
She has a classic drinking problem. She comes from a broken home and a brother that is a drug addict/ dealer/ all around dirt bag (her words and description). All of these things have led to her being a very personalty/ emotionally withdrawn individual. To be honest she reminds myself of a female version of myself. However she has a genetic influence of alcoholism. (something that i'm sure if was in my blood i'd be a full blown alcoholic) . Each and every time i've been out with her drinking either me or my GF had to take care of her.
(in fact the first night that we re-met with my current GF she was "aiming" to hook up with me, instead i made out with my girl, and she projectile vomited on my Best Friend. Pretty funny scene really.)
But now to the point.
She just graduated from college a year ago. She is in that awkward stage of not knowing what to do, especially within this bad economy. Working jobs she hates.
Up until 2 months ago, she was in fact a virgin. She's had nothing but bad luck with guys. Probably because of her emotional detachment that is uncharacteristic of most women, and her drinking problem. I met up with old college friends that brought along a good guy. He flirted, with my friend. And they started to date and see eac hother afterwards. She then lost her virginity to him. (yes she told him, she is older than him. He's 21 and she just turned 23, and she didn't think it was right to lie to him.)
1 Month ago he went off to London to study abroad they didn't make their relationship official, they decided to wait until afterwards to see how things work out. (a realistic view in my opinion.) He's been doing his own thing going out and having fun, but would always come back and talk to her online afterwards. Being faithful .... even though they weren't officially a real couple.
A few days ago she went to visit 2 college friends she went to school with. Both of them men. She has gotten drunk and hung out with them countless and countless of times though out her college career. All the times ending with her just passing out and nothing else happening.
However this last time, she had too much to drink, and blacked out. But the things she did remember was them telling her to take off her top and her refusing. Then she remembers waking up in the bathtub naked (shower head on waking her up) and one of the guys trying to make her give her head. Then the next thing she remembers is early the next morning one of the guys attempting to penetrate her ... in which she eventually realized what was happening, threw him off, got dressed and drove home.....
What i've told you is all i know. The details are few and far in between. We bought her Plan B just in case. And had advised her to get tested for STDs. (Even though we are 99% sure there was no vaginal sex cause after the first time she had sex she was sore for a while, and she was not sore at all this time, but this is not a situations you should take chances. ) She has free counseling from the job my girl got her, and we have told her to see them.
She has had the usual reactions (i have a degree in psych) she feels shame, and guilt. My girl has been trying to talk to her... (she lost her own virginity in a rape when she was in her early teens).
She Facebooked messaged the guy she has been seeing and told her what happened. She felt obligated to tell him the truth because he's been faithful, and she really likes him, and wants a future with him, and the only way that can continue is with the truth. .... but sadly after she sent the Facebook message he has not responded, or talked to her. (keep in mind the cost of overseas messaging and cell phone charges are too crazy to maintain in general)
By this point 95% of peopel have stopped reading/ caring, but i don't know what to do. I've done the usual friend thing with my girl. I want to help her more with the abuse she had gone through, and with her relationship problem that it has happened. But from JUST a friend point of view we are doing what we can do. However... i want to do more... but not sure how
I want to maybe fix this relationship but i doubt it would be appropriate to message this guy that i barely know through friends and try to figure out why he hasn't talked to her yet.
I know that he might be either A. Angry that she got taken advantage of, or B. Feeling insecure or just C. Doesn't even know how to react.
I'm looking for all good advise really.
I've known this girl for longer than i'm about to make it sound. Back when i was in High School she was my High Schools GF's best friend. Then once i went to college, i lost touch with her for a long long time. Until i was bar hopping almost 2 years ago, and i re-met her, and her new Best Friend. Who i'm now seeing for a while.
She has a classic drinking problem. She comes from a broken home and a brother that is a drug addict/ dealer/ all around dirt bag (her words and description). All of these things have led to her being a very personalty/ emotionally withdrawn individual. To be honest she reminds myself of a female version of myself. However she has a genetic influence of alcoholism. (something that i'm sure if was in my blood i'd be a full blown alcoholic) . Each and every time i've been out with her drinking either me or my GF had to take care of her.
(in fact the first night that we re-met with my current GF she was "aiming" to hook up with me, instead i made out with my girl, and she projectile vomited on my Best Friend. Pretty funny scene really.)
But now to the point.
She just graduated from college a year ago. She is in that awkward stage of not knowing what to do, especially within this bad economy. Working jobs she hates.
Up until 2 months ago, she was in fact a virgin. She's had nothing but bad luck with guys. Probably because of her emotional detachment that is uncharacteristic of most women, and her drinking problem. I met up with old college friends that brought along a good guy. He flirted, with my friend. And they started to date and see eac hother afterwards. She then lost her virginity to him. (yes she told him, she is older than him. He's 21 and she just turned 23, and she didn't think it was right to lie to him.)
1 Month ago he went off to London to study abroad they didn't make their relationship official, they decided to wait until afterwards to see how things work out. (a realistic view in my opinion.) He's been doing his own thing going out and having fun, but would always come back and talk to her online afterwards. Being faithful .... even though they weren't officially a real couple.
A few days ago she went to visit 2 college friends she went to school with. Both of them men. She has gotten drunk and hung out with them countless and countless of times though out her college career. All the times ending with her just passing out and nothing else happening.
However this last time, she had too much to drink, and blacked out. But the things she did remember was them telling her to take off her top and her refusing. Then she remembers waking up in the bathtub naked (shower head on waking her up) and one of the guys trying to make her give her head. Then the next thing she remembers is early the next morning one of the guys attempting to penetrate her ... in which she eventually realized what was happening, threw him off, got dressed and drove home.....
What i've told you is all i know. The details are few and far in between. We bought her Plan B just in case. And had advised her to get tested for STDs. (Even though we are 99% sure there was no vaginal sex cause after the first time she had sex she was sore for a while, and she was not sore at all this time, but this is not a situations you should take chances. ) She has free counseling from the job my girl got her, and we have told her to see them.
She has had the usual reactions (i have a degree in psych) she feels shame, and guilt. My girl has been trying to talk to her... (she lost her own virginity in a rape when she was in her early teens).
She Facebooked messaged the guy she has been seeing and told her what happened. She felt obligated to tell him the truth because he's been faithful, and she really likes him, and wants a future with him, and the only way that can continue is with the truth. .... but sadly after she sent the Facebook message he has not responded, or talked to her. (keep in mind the cost of overseas messaging and cell phone charges are too crazy to maintain in general)
By this point 95% of peopel have stopped reading/ caring, but i don't know what to do. I've done the usual friend thing with my girl. I want to help her more with the abuse she had gone through, and with her relationship problem that it has happened. But from JUST a friend point of view we are doing what we can do. However... i want to do more... but not sure how
I want to maybe fix this relationship but i doubt it would be appropriate to message this guy that i barely know through friends and try to figure out why he hasn't talked to her yet.
I know that he might be either A. Angry that she got taken advantage of, or B. Feeling insecure or just C. Doesn't even know how to react.
I'm looking for all good advise really.