Female Friend Taken Advantage Of

dolfette

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I got bored...
and boring.

............................................................

fgomes85, if you asked her first it would be ok to message him. a friendly offer of ''would you like me to try talking to him?'' maybe, if you don't think it'll upset her.

giving it more thought, maybe he'd find it easier to talk to a guy. he might just be worried that he'll say the wrong thing or not be able to hold his temper.

...but if he's just going to ignore her when she's in pain then is he really the right man for her to be with, when she's obviously so vulnerable?
 

dolfette

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dolfette

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Looks like you're talking about yourself.
see? i could have hours of fun frustrating your desperate need here,
but instead i'm going to put you on ignore, because i'm pretty damn sure you'll never say anything contractive.

my apologies that your reply to this will go unmocked.
 

DecoyMAX

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One more thing if I were her, I would write letters to the parents of the guys involved and tell them what happened and how it made her feel. I would also try to sue the guys and their parents to pay for mental health care.

It must be nice living in your imaginary world.
 

dolfette

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indeed.
i too fail to see how it's the responsibility of the parents what an adult son does. it would be laughed out of court.
 

AlphaSpartan

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I say "tame" them and neuter them like the animals they are... so long as they attack first I believe you'd be within the law. Scum that take advantage of drunk women don't deserve pleasure... or life for that matter.
 

ConstantComment

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I found myself in a similar situation -- that is alcohol, allowing myself to be alone with a man and there you go. In your friend's case, I would say this:

1. If you have noticed that her drinking is a problem, then others probabaly have too. It will ruin any case she has against these guys. And worse, it will be on record that she has a drinking problem. this will ruin her credibility in situations going forward. To punish these two guys, she needs to ask herself, is it really worth it?

2. She should look at this as a wake up call. She needs to control her drinking and also to take note of that point when a guy you conisdered a friend has jumped the track. In this case, it sounds as if she had drunk normal alcohol, not any of these potent chemicals. Or, is there something else we should know.

I can remember a few moments in college, whew, scary. Once I had gone to a party in the men's dorm and decided visit a guy I was friendly with. He had a buddy there and I stayed to partake of his libations. There was a moment when I could see that they were both looking at me and suddenly I felt as if I were in a Bugs Bunny cartoon like a pig on a roast......I knew it was time to leave. I would really like to see women take more responsibility for their behavior and to learn to be more perceptive when dealing with others.....that includes men.

3. She should also know that in a date rape case the campus will square off and some of the women, for whatever reason, will not be supportive of her as much as some of the men. Does she really want that kind of agro and to have her name attached to a date rape trial.

4. she should learn that there is a lot strength in just simply moving on. In excising these men from her life. IF their names come up, she can say that yes, they're bit aggressivve and not very trustworthy without having her name attached to drinking too much herself.

5. In short, she should heal on her own. Go to counseling if she needs it but a very public trial in which she's going to have endure character assination, is it really worth it?
 

SouthernGirl

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Yeah, everything else everyone said. IMHO: she needs to get checked into rehab asap. It is NOT SAFE FOR A WOMAN TO GET SLOPPY AZZ DRUNK AROUND MEN. Sure its not her fault, (blah blah don't blame the victim) but she really needs to take resonsibilty for her behavior. Men & women who get tow' up get taken advantage of. You can only look out for yourself.
 

jb007

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We didn't even talk about the 'drinking" aspect of it. We are being supportive every step of the way and just trying to be their for her. She isn't planning on pressing charges. We voiced out opinions in favor of pressing charges, but she decided not to because she thinks it would just be a battle of they said she said argument.....

i've known a few girls who have gotten take advantage of or even raped, but it was after the fact. This is the first time i've known the girl during the abuse has happened....

i just want to do more..... even considered calling in friends who know people who could take care of them.... and to be honest... i'm still considering it .... but i know it's wrong... so i wont...

I have this saying WWCPD (what would Captain Picard Do, and yeah i'm a big geek, but it's helped me out of my dark stages, and helped me through my heavy anger problems)

*sigh*


WWCPD - love that. Genius.

On a more serious note I agree with most posters that you have shown yourself to be a very supportive friend and you really can't do anything more than just continue to be there for her and perhaps when things calm down a little have a word with her about cutting down on the drinking and maybe getting help with it if it's that bad. Good luck.
 

AlphaSpartan

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i just want to do more..... even considered calling in friends who know people who could take care of them.... and to be honest... i'm still considering it .... but i know it's wrong... so i wont...
An eye for an eye, my friend. They disrespect you or someone you love, you make sure they never even think about again. Don't poke out two eyes, just one.

A bully will keep striking until he is put in his place.