Female Masterbation issue

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by noface60, May 23, 2010.

  1. noface60

    noface60 Member

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    Hello. My female partner likes for me to finger her. But whenever I finger her, she never tries to assist or get involved at all. She says it's because she only enjoys it when I do it. She says that she doesn't know how to pleasure herself that way.

    Is this possible? How often do you encounter females who can't masturbate themselves to climax? Is it really that difficult for females to masturbate?
     
  2. HiddenLacey

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    Ummm I guess it's possible, myself I started rubbing somewhere in my teens. I can't imagine not knowing how to get myself off. Maybe she's uncomfortable with her body. Nothing is really uncomfortable about it to me. If you don't explore your body how do you really know what feels good? I can't imagine laying there waiting for some guy to show me.
     
    #2 HiddenLacey, May 23, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 23, 2010
  3. petite

    petite New Member

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    Oh we're not the right bunch of ladies to be polling about this subject. Talk about skewed results! We do not represent the general population.

    Based on what little I do know about other women's sex lives, I'm guessing that there are lots and lots of women who don't pleasure themselves, which is very very weird to me.
     
  4. thetramp

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    Not to pleasure one self does not mean to be unable to do it or at least to find out how to do it. I do not believe that is possible for a healthy women, at least if you look at it from the physical point of view.

    But the mind is always a big part of sexuality and that mind can play many tricks.
    If a women is socialized in a certain way, or for other reason has come to a sexual identity that does not include masturbation she might not be comfortable pleasuring herself even tho she likes the feeling if other give it to her.
     
  5. LadyHalo

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    Of course, I can't speak for all women, but I can tell you what I know of myself. It often takes a LOT for me to reach climax whether I am pleasuring myself or not because it's more of a mental thing than a physical thing for me (most of the time). There is the rare occasion when I'm basically "in heat" for a few days, but I digress. Anyway, it could be that your touch provides the mental stimulation that she needs to get her to that special point.
     
  6. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    My husband doesn't jack himself off. He just doesn't want to, he feels like he doesn't need to and that's what im there for. He prefers my hand over his own, or anything else i can use to get him off.

    Why is this an issue at all?
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

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    I have to agree with Mlle. Rouge, I really enjoy being fingered by TheBF while he kisses me. It's more fun than doing it myself, even though I'm better at it. It's just not as hot. :tongue:
     
  8. the_new_godiva

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    I was definitely shown how to finger by a guy when I was like 19, and while I enjoy it now, I kinda get bored sometimes. I'm with Rouge and Petite; more fun with a hot guy doing it for you, because it's not all physical.
     
  9. D_Barbi_Dahl

    D_Barbi_Dahl Account Disabled

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    I can make myself cum faster than having someone else do it...but I prefer my partner to do it. Foreplay = fun.
     
  10. dolfette

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    never tries to assist? why the fuck should she is she's enjoying it the way it is? what...your previous lover assisted so you think she should too?

    i prefer my hand to anyone elses. she prefers your hand to her own. different strokes for different folks.

    she digs it that way and that's the way she digs it.
    be happy she digs it with you!
     
  11. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Ugh i know, everything can be so perfect and they have to try to change it...

    I don't get it. I really don't.
     
  12. xX_Sarah_Xx

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    Sure it's possibly. It took me quite some time to go from the oh-this-is-nice to the OH-:knockedout:-this-is-NICE-feeling, six months or so I think. After that first one I still didn't manage to get an orgasm each time I masturbated, took me another few months to find out what I really liked. So yes, I could definitely understand that there are women who just never learned to masturbate. Pity, cause I think it's important to get to know your body like that... Telling a skilled lover that what he's doing feels good is great, telling a lover what feels even better is even greater?

    Problem is... female masturbation is still often taboo. A lot of women seem to think "but I don't need it!". That it's something you only do when you're horny and/or single. Or even worse, that people would think your bf/man can't get you off and is lacking in his skills.
    ( BULLSHIT! :p I'll seriously never understand that. )

    Maybe it's a good idea to ask your partner how she feels about female masturbation. Ask if she ever talks to her friends about it. Does she see it in a positive way and does she understand you don't *have* to be horny to want to masturbate. Sure, it can be a reason. But you can just as well have had a stressful day and want to relax. Or you want to have a warm-cozy-happy-snuggly feeling when you're falling asleep. Or you want to wake up lazily-happy. Take a really nice relaxing shower. etc etc.

    Mind, not everyone will see it like that. If she happens to just rather have you fingering her, don't force masturbation on her :rolleyes:
    I'm just saying... talk about it. Communicate. And if she says she only enjoys it when you do it, believe her! ;)
     
  13. ManlyBanisters

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    Yeah - I'm with dolf here - Why should she join in? She wants you to do it - she likes it. I enjoy the sensations I get masturbating. I enjoy the sensations I get when he does it. It's different. I prefer him doing it because, as said above, it's just hotter.

    Also - what do you mean by 'fingering' exactly? Most women I know (here and elsewhere online, IRL too) get themselves off easiest by rubbing their clits. 'Fingering', on the other hand (no pun intended), is inserting fingers into the vagina - well, it is as far as I'm concerned. I might finger myself a little while rubbing my clit, it can add to the sensation - but I couldn't get myself off with fingering without clit rubbing. That's not going to be true for all women. My man can get me off with just fingering because his fingers are longer and thicker and he can get a better angle for rubbing my g-spot. :sigh1:

    Shit - gone and made myself horny now :rolleyes:
     
  14. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    I was thinking the same thing......why try to mend what isnt broken....
     
  15. dolfette

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    and you know how many times a guy has tried to ''assist'' me in giving them a handjob?

    zero!

    a big, fat nil.
     
  16. THEDUDEofDestiny

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    i want to try one of your'e out because in my experience girls seem to have no idea how to give a hand job. they just tug away like crazy without any appreciation for the fact that nerves don't just feel pleasure. they also feel pain. also women seem to forget they have nails.
     
  17. noface60

    noface60 Member

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    Oh, sorry that I didn't explain further.

    The reason that it bothers me that she doesn't "join in" or "assist me" when I'm fingering her is because when she's jacking me off, she never finishes because she claims that jacking off my cock "tires her out" so I always have to finish myself off. I enjoy seeing her hand jacking my cock off (guess it's a mental thing even though I could physically make myself reach orgasms faster than she can make me), so why should I get the short end of the stick like this? Why do I have to jack myself off if she doesn't have to finger herself? Is this fair?
     
  18. HiddenLacey

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    Ahhh ok. Hmmm, maybe her arms get tired? I didn't know you wanted her to do this while you took care of yourself. I thought you were saying she just didn't know how to take care of herself. If her arms get tired, why don't you two switch to something else like oral or sex. I think at some point everyone gets tired or uncomfortable. Some of us continue for our partners sake and some do not. If shes young she may be uncomfortable touching herself in front of you, some of us are shy. Sex isn't always "fair" sometimes you both have to meet in the middle.
     
  19. ManlyBanisters

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    But read what you wrote in your first post.

    You jack yourself off because she can't make you cum that way. That's WHY you join in - you don't have to - you just do because you want to cum.

    Her joining in fingering herself while you do does not make her cum - it probably detracts from it for her.

    So what you seem to be asking for is that she enjoy herself less. Now, I'm pretty sure, put like that, you don't want that at all - but by asking her to join in that will be the result.

    You seem to feel you're putting more effort into it than she is and that's what isn't fair. But look - you both get off, right? So what's the problem? If she can't get you off from jacking, show her how to do it the way you do. Or ask her to suck you off instead / as well.

    Why, instead of getting her to do something she gets nothing from, don't you ask her to do something you'll enjoy even more.

    Then everybody wins.
     
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