Hello. My female partner likes for me to finger her. But whenever I finger her, she never tries to assist or get involved at all. She says it's because she only enjoys it when I do it. She says that she doesn't know how to pleasure herself that way.
Is this possible? How often do you encounter females who can't masturbate themselves to climax? Is it really that difficult for females to masturbate?
Sure it's possibly. It took me quite some time to go from the oh-this-is-nice to the OH-:knockedout:-this-is-NICE-feeling, six months or so I think. After that first one I still didn't manage to get an orgasm each time I masturbated, took me another few months to find out what I really liked. So yes, I could definitely understand that there are women who just never learned to masturbate. Pity, cause I think it's important to get to know your body like that... Telling a skilled lover that what he's doing feels good is great, telling a lover what feels even better is even greater?
Problem is... female masturbation is still often taboo. A lot of women seem to think "but I don't need it!". That it's something you only do when you're horny and/or single. Or even worse, that people would think your bf/man can't get you off and is lacking in his skills.
( BULLSHIT!
I'll seriously never understand that. )
Maybe it's a good idea to ask your partner how she feels about female masturbation. Ask if she ever talks to her friends about it. Does she see it in a positive way and does she understand you don't *have* to be horny to want to masturbate. Sure, it can be a reason. But you can just as well have had a stressful day and want to relax. Or you want to have a warm-cozy-happy-snuggly feeling when you're falling asleep. Or you want to wake up lazily-happy. Take a really nice relaxing shower. etc etc.
Mind, not everyone will see it like that. If she happens to just rather have you fingering her, don't force masturbation on her
I'm just saying... talk about it. Communicate. And if she says she only enjoys it when you do it, believe her!