Female Orgams.

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by NottsBound, Jun 19, 2010.

  1. NottsBound

    NottsBound Active Member

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    I don't normally talk to girls about sex openly so I have never discussed this before. Earlier, I was having a chat with my friends and we were talking about times we had sex and all that guy chat. I mentioned something about making a girl cum loads and they were being macho and said "who cares as long as you get yours."

    While my mentality for sex has always been the ladies pleasure first. For example my girlfriend orgasms and cums pretty much every other time we have sex, if not every time. I know pretty well what makes a girl orgasm very well from my past experience with ex girlfriends.

    Then I came across all these online topics such as "Have you ladies orgasmed before?"

    Which came to me to realise, are female orgasms really that rare to come by?

    I watch porn alot and the girl almost never cums but when she does I love it.

    I love it when women orgasm and I love it even more if I'm a factor in it happening.

    I also asked a few mates and they said they hadn't made a girl cum, while most guys never mention girls cumming at all when talking about sex stories.

    So in a way, I'm asking...is it really that big of a deal for a woman to orgasm? Do you guys make ladies cum alot? and are orgasms rare for you ladies?
     
  2. Fanuc

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    In my book the lady comes first .. it might take some time ... but it's worth it ... I can always do myself ... but if I bring her to the edge and then slide on in!! lets just say I still have marks on my back!!!
     
  3. eyescream

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    I enjoy talking to guys about orgasms, and through my personal experience, only about 50% of the guys I've been with actually knew I had one when I did. The other half was like "did you?" and the half of that half were not concerned.

    Although I don't think they were not concerned, I'm guessing they just didn't know so they avoided asking me in case I thought they were inexperienced and it made them look bad.

    I can tell you this: orgasms matter for most women, especially the ones that are used to it. Imagine you (a guy) not getting an orgasm when you have sex - that's what not getting an orgasm is like for most women.

    One of the regulars in here have actually mentioned NOT enjoying orgasms; I suppose to each his own.

    But I can also tell you this: many women who don't care whether or not they get an orgasm with you probably feels you won't get her there so why should she bother even trying.

    In one of my recent posts I mentioned reaching orgasm pretty quick but this guy I'm with gets it "prematurely (within a minute or less)". So when I'm with him I don't bother trying to get there because if I do and he's done when I'm only halfway it's going to piss me off. :D If I don't try, I can enjoy the actual sex part of him rubbing my insides and not get disappointed at his inadequacies (sorry but that's how I put it).
     
  4. NottsBound

    NottsBound Active Member

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    My girlfriend once said...there's a difference between orgasming and cumming? Even though sometimes I finish before her it feels just as good having sex even though she hadn't cummed?

    I hate finishing before my girlfriend, so I would like to understand female sexual tendencies.
     
  5. petite

    petite New Member

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    Not for me. I orgasm easily and my best lovers try and make me orgasm a lot. It's common in my experience for men to want to give women lots of orgasms. I've never had a lover with an attitude like you described. I've had lovers who had low sex drives, but the men I've slept with have wanted to give me orgasms, regardless of their own level of desire for sex.

    Lots of other women never orgasm during intercourse or find it very difficult to do so.

    There was an article in the New York Times about a woman researching female orgasms. The numbers in that article came out to something like:

    25% of women almost always or frequently orgasm during intercourse
    35% of women sometimes orgasm during intercourse
    30% of women rarely or occasionally orgasm during intercourse
    10% of women never orgasm during intercourse

    I may have mixed up the two stats in the middle. If I have, please forgive me. The 25% and the 10% are correct from that article, though.
     
  6. NottsBound

    NottsBound Active Member

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    Haha we'd be the perfect match. It just seemed absurd to me that so many men don't care about female orgasms.
    Are women just different like that or is it past experience that makes em that way?
     
  7. eyescream

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    I always thought cum was the slang of orgasm. Can someone please let me know how they're different? :)

    Although I remember when I was a lot younger, I thought the word "cum" was a noun for the natural lubricant, so the word cumming would mean secreting the juices (equivalent to ejaculation in men).
     
    #7 eyescream, Jun 19, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2010
  8. HiddenLacey

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    If I'm into the guy and into the sex I can cum. It's mental for me. If I feel detached I get nothing out of it or I get turned on and then frustrated when I don't cum.
     
  9. B_Craiggers

    B_Craiggers New Member

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    At least once... it's the decent thing to do :p

    It's varies a lot from woman to woman. I've been with a woman who can orgasm over and over and over, and another who was done for the night as soon as she had just one, and a few in between.

    I had an ex who hadn't had an orgasm previously. We got her there, but it took a few months (she had a hangup about it), but after the first one it wasn't a problem anymore.
     
  10. AlteredEgo

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    I have never met any men like the ones described in the OP. However, I have had discussions with my lovers about their past lovers, and have gotten the impression that there are many men out there who are just awful lays. Anyone who isn't as interested in my pleasure as I am interested in his is useless as a lover.
     
  11. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    When i started having trouble orgasming, my husband quit trying to do it. I was actually relieved because it was more frustrating than anything for me. It might not have been as much for him. But i struggled even doing it alone so i knew i'd struggle even more with another person.

    Now i take my blood pressure medications always before sex and i orgasm very easily. Usually within a minute or so of serious clitoral stimulation where i can tense up to built up a good amount of tension in my muscles (particularly my leg muscles) so i can orgasm.

    I also prefer to have my orgasms after sex most of the time. I know im strange. But im afraid i would get annoyed with someone insisting i orgasm first, even though i know their trying to be selfless and giving.

    Sex is a special sensation for me regardless if i get to orgasm or not. I had a million orgasms all by myself without the intimacy of sex with another person. So i find the intimacy and sensation of actual penetration to be quite satisfying without an orgasm believe it or not.
     
  12. AlteredEgo

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    But wanting to understand and accommodate those needs and preferences is all a part of seeing to your pleasure.
     
  13. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I'm EXTREMELY multi-orgasmic. So I don't really know if the guys I've been with have wanted the woman to come first. I can cum several times before we even get our clothes off so it's just never been an issue. They always seem to enjoy it though, which suggests to me that they do enjoy it when a woman cums.
     
  14. dolfette

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    i never orgasm during sex, ever, and i don't really want to. men trying to get me off just gets on my nerves, because i'd rather just fuck.

    for me orgasms are private and separate from sex.

    i used to try as a teen, because society tries to tell us we should be orgasming, but now i say bollocks to fitting in.
     
  15. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    ^ what she said
     
  16. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I can't HELP cumming during sex. I'm like one of those toys where you push the button and they speak.

    I'm on the other side of the sex-orgasm fence to you but I'm extreme enough to not fit in either. So I agree - bollocks to fitting in.
     
  17. NottsBound

    NottsBound Active Member

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    I must admit I do find Dolfette' opinion quite strange to me. I'd always thought female orgasms were as norm as male orgasms! Every woman should atleast orgasm once during sex because when I do it to my girlfriend...she describes it as something out of thiss world.

    I know orgasms are much more mental than they are physical. Women can only orgasm if they guy is good in bed and they lust for him so much. The only time I've seen real female orgasms in porn is when the lady is mesmerized by the other half so that when they are touched, the react in an amazing way which leads them to orgasming.

    Once again, every female needs to try it and it's just about find that partner who would push your buttons the right way.
     
  18. Lng_1

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    Ahhhh, the wonderful, incredible world of women and what they desire. My experience is that we all want different things, in a different order and timing at many different points in our lives when it comes to sex and pleasure. Making love to someoene is discovering those desires and fulfilling them.... whether or not it includes an orgasm before, during, after or not at all. Everyone wants to be loved and/or fucked like they want to be loved and/or fucked... the secret is finding out how they want it. Don't ya think?
     
  19. xX_Sarah_Xx

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    ... NO! Bullshit, bullshit, and BULLSHIT!
    Just because it would make you feel inadequate when you don't make a woman orgasm during sex doesn't mean that she "should"! That's putting pressure on her, putting her in a box, and totally not understanding women, AT ALL!

    If you think like that, it's not about her, but about your ego. Don't force orgasming on someone and ruin the moment! Geez! Men!
     
  20. dolfette

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    what a pile of horseshit!

    i know what i like and i do what i like.
    if a fragile male ego can't deal with that then tough.

    there are highly orgasmic women who can't help but orgasm, even if the sex is unwanted.

    and citing porn as evidence?
    next time people debate military issues in iraq, i'll cite The A-Team as evidence to prove my point.

    you spout misogynistic, cookie cutting, ill informed claptrap :rolleyes:
     
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