Female Orgasm Problems

[13788]

BluECliQ: Hi ladies, and gents if you're reading. Me and my girlfriend are both 19 and have a relatively healthy sexual relationship, thought theres one tiny problem. She's never had an orgasm before. I know female orgasms aren't as come and go as male ones, and I know they require a lot of things to be right. But heres my specific issue...I read on various sites and internet mags that a girl is unlikely to experience orgasm with her mate if she hasn't had one by herself. I'm beginning to think this might be the problem, because she insists everything feels great, but no orgasm from both oral and intercourse.

I brought this up with her but shes kind of conservative with her sexuality and thinks playing with herself is dirty or something. I know once she has her first one there will be many more to come, but getting over the hill has been tough. She's just not comfortable "letting loose" even though I tell her its ok.

Any ideas or things I can do?

 

[13788]

LoveGirl: I actually feel the same way as her, My sweetums does everything right and everything feels intense and great. Although, I'm pretty sure I've never orgasmed.

 

[madame_zora]

Well, BlueCliq, I think you've hit the nail on the head, so to speak. She most likely won't experience orgasm until she can "teach her body to come", which first time usually means clitoral stimulation. If she is sexually consevative, she may not feel comforatble using "toys" that might help her achieve orgasm, but it certainly can be done alone with her fingers, experimenting with what pleases her most. However, she must feel at ease with her sexual experience. You are both very young, and sex will be a part of your lives for a long time. Very satisfying sex can happen for a woman without orgasm, if she feels her needs for love and closeness are being met. You should let her set the tempo for when and how she learns to orgasm, let her tell you when it becomes important. I would feel bad for her if it was thrust upon her and diminished her view of sex, which is a bigger problem that could last a lot longer into her adulthood. A loving, patient and willing partner will make her feel more curious about the greater realm of the sexual experience and she will want to come when the time comes. If she doesn't bring it up again, you could bring it up casually at intervals, but don't pressure her to feel she has to "perform" for you. I hope that helps. Best of luck on your realtionship and sex life.

 

[Meniswallow]

Originally posted by BluECliQ@May 12 2004, 07:50 AM
Hi ladies, and gents if you're reading. Me and my girlfriend are both 19 and have a relatively healthy sexual relationship, thought theres one tiny problem. She's never had an orgasm before. I know female orgasms aren't as come and go as male ones, and I know they require a lot of things to be right. But heres my specific issue...I read on various sites and internet mags that a girl is unlikely to experience orgasm with her mate if she hasn't had one by herself. I'm beginning to think this might be the problem, because she insists everything feels great, but no orgasm from both oral and intercourse.

I brought this up with her but shes kind of conservative with her sexuality and thinks playing with herself is dirty or something. I know once she has her first one there will be many more to come, but getting over the hill has been tough. She's just not comfortable "letting loose" even though I tell her its ok.

Any ideas or things I can do?

any chance you can perform just oral sex on her, till she orgasms, stick ur tongue, fingers, massage the right area, play with her nipples...etc, she may not want to give herself her own orgasm but maybe u can help you with you just eating her out.

 

[jonb]

Also, remember, the female orgasm isn't as simple as the male one, but once it happens, she'll know it, and if she's responsive enough, you will too.

The easiest places to stimulate include the clitoris and labia. Outside of the genitalia, the nipples and lips are pretty sensitive. But just make sure And remember, be gentle with the clitoris: The rough rubbing so typical when you masturbate can actually hurt.

 

[13788]

Tender: some women require stimulation of the clit and the g-spot at the same time.
some like it sporadic, others more steady stimulation.
has she used a vibrator?

the other thing is, she is just 19. that is young, to know how your body operates, as well as to be able to let go emotionally and allow that to happen with a partner.
SO, basically time will help that.
You also dont say how long you have been together, but there may have to be quite an emotional attatchment between you before that will happen for her.

its as much mental, emotional as it is physicaly. Or more so.

Tender

 

[13788]

LoveGirl: I've known him since i was 7.