Feminism & porn - can they agree with each other?

Oxnard

Legendary Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2016
Posts
2,126
Media
2
Likes
1,118
Points
123
Location
Chicago
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Requires thinking. Therefore, problem?
I don't know. All humans have dignity and rights is such a tough concept.

Hey, can you get rid of the haters in the Lone Star state? I got too tired and moved.

Also, has anyone filled Molly Ivins' boots?
Molly Ivins was a goddess. The sane Texans are freaking epic.
 

Oxnard

Legendary Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2016
Posts
2,126
Media
2
Likes
1,118
Points
123
Location
Chicago
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Daisy, do you think all porn is either

a) acted
or
b) faked?
I'm obviously not Daisy, but most of professional porn comes across as incredibly fake to me. It's just that I am able to suspend disbelief when I watch it. My capacity for delusion is a finely-honed skill. ;)
 
9

950483

Guest
It fucking better start agreeing more.

The current state of porn really pisses me off.

First, the cum shots are always on the woman's face. Every fucking time. I don't like cum shots at all, but at least back in the past, they were more likely to do it on her stomach or her butt, and the face thing was merely a rare horror. But now? Face, face, face, every fucking time the face. I always close the video on the money shot anyway, but it still torques my 'nards knowing that it happens.

And why the fuck can't we have more foreplay for the woman?

Not only does it seem disrespectful for a guy to expect to receive but not give foreplay, but it upsets me as a male heterosexual porn viewer. Why the hell would I want to see most of the screen filled with cock for that long? Why can't I get the opportunity to stare at and marvel at her genitals? Why can't I see more expressions of pleasure on her face during the foreplay sequences? As I mentioned in another thread, I tend to fast forward through most of the foreplay anyway, but what little is there is often not to my tastes as a straight man. Seeing women in pleasure gets me off; guys, not so much.

Moving on to more squarely feminist issues, I'm a huge believer in sex positive feminism (that liking sex doesn't make a woman bad, think of it as the opposite of slut-shaming). Part of that is genuine concern for women, but part of that is also purely selfish. It's also part of my sexual urges. I want a nice woman with a strong sex drive, dammit. Why can't they sell fantasies to guys like me with my proclivities? Why does it always have to be men giving money to women before sex and men calling women "slut" or "bitch" or whatever? That shit takes me out of the mood.

Oh, what is the selfish part of liking sex positive feminism? Glad you asked.

Sex researchers have found that the dynamics of sexual urges are more complex than originally thought:

www.ohjoysextoy.com: Science of Desire by Dr. Emily Nagoski & R.Stevens

Long story short, there is a list of pluses and minuses that affect everyone's sex drive (not necessarily consciously), and all that slut-shaming bullshit has the effect of destroying women's self-image and suppressing their sex drive. So when you contribute to cultural attitudes about slut-shaming, you are increasing the chances that your wife or girlfriend will give you the "Not tonight honey, I have a headache" excuse. Make her neurotic enough, and she'll want sex less often without understanding why. It may even affect your partner's ability to enjoy sex.

So yeah, I really, really wish that the porn industry degraded women less and gave me more sexual fantasies involving sex-positive feminism.

I can't say this enough: I like nice women with a strong self image and a strong sex drive. That degrading shit is unappealing to me.
NICE women?
 

Oxnard

Legendary Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2016
Posts
2,126
Media
2
Likes
1,118
Points
123
Location
Chicago
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
NICE women?
I reject the idea that liking sex makes a woman bad or shameful. I'm not referring to any particular social construct associated with the word nice. I'm not implying anything beyond the usual vague niceties: kind, moral, etc.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Doranq
9

950483

Guest
I reject the idea that liking sex makes a woman bad or shameful. I'm not referring to any particular social construct associated with the word nice. I'm not implying anything beyond the usual vague niceties: kind, moral, etc.
You misunderstood me I think. I wasn't reading any 'slut shaming' insinuation into it, I just wanted you to clarify what you meant by 'nice'. Usually what people mean by that is agreeable and polite, and a woman is less likely to be perceived as 'nice' if she is self-important and self-interested enough to have excellent self-esteem and do what she wants to do, without considering everyone else first. This is even without it being anything to do with sex.
 

Oxnard

Legendary Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2016
Posts
2,126
Media
2
Likes
1,118
Points
123
Location
Chicago
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
You misunderstood me I think. I wasn't reading any 'slut shaming' insinuation into it, I just wanted you to clarify what you meant by 'nice'. Usually what people mean by that is agreeable and polite, and a woman is less likely to be perceived as 'nice' if she is self-important and self-interested enough to have excellent self-esteem and do what she wants to do, without considering everyone else first. This is even without it being anything to do with sex.
Well, there are other ideas attached to "nice," and I was worried you interpreted one of those into my statement.

For example, for people from very sexist environments, a "nice" girl is someone who is properly obedient, docile, subservient, etc.

Recall that in older stories like King Arthur, any woman who takes action turns out to be a villain, while the "nice" ladies do nothing and sit around and wait for men to do things to them. The "nice girls" are nothing more than trophies for the men to fight over.

From your comment, I was worried that you thought I was implying one of those things.