I've been using match.com and eharmony.com for the last year to try and find women. This is due to the fact that Im self employed and the area that I immediately live in has no great stock of younger, desirable and/or available women ... but I can't physically move due to my prime location for my business and my house that I recently bought.
While eharmony.com is a terrible service in my area, match.com has actually been working great! I've been on probably 20 dates in the last 3 months and I can't honestly say that Ive had a single bad experience with the whole process.
Last week I met a match that I was really excited about meeting, she seemed to have it together and she seemed to have an attitude that really worked well with my own. After the first date I knew that I liked her ... I knew that in the first 15 minutes of sitting down and talking to her ... and after a few hours together we parted ways and setup a second date a few days later.
On our second date we met at her house and then hopped in her car to go meet up with some of her friends. While she was driving she asked me how many long term relationships I had in the past. I told her that I had essentially not had any before and she had this severely adverse reaction, saying "that raises all sorts of red flags". She then immediately asked if I had sex before and I replied "yes" ... which was a true answer, but didnt go into the fact that my sexual history was rather limited as well. I sort of dropped the subject after that because she had such an adverse reaction to my response that it freaked me out as to why she was that concerned about my past on the second date.
Other than that little episode, our second date seemed to go really well, we met up with her friends, had fun and she gave me a whole bunch of signs that lead me to believe she liked me.
The first sign was the fact that she trusted me enough to have me meet her at her house, which I imagine you would not do if you didnt like the guy you met 2 days before. The second sign was that she told me in the bar that she had "the most realistic sexual dream she's had in a long time" last night (which happened to be the night after she met me) and then cut herself off half way through saying "It's been that long since Ive had sex!" The third sign was that she told me she didnt want to get wild and crazy with her friends while I was there because she didnt want to embarrass herself in front of me.
Not only that but the whole night we were looking at each other, she kept grabbing my arm and rubbing my back and we kept nudging and poking at each other for fun.
Then on Easter morning I text message her to wish her a happy Easter and left her a little message asking if she wanted to go check out an art gallery later in the week. She text messaged me back saying that she "didnt think I was in a place to have a serious relationship" and that's what she was looking for. Clearly shes trying to brush me off but why would things to so seemingly well for the first two dates and then suddenly she wants to cut it off?
Honestly Im kind of hurt by this ... which is actually a good thing because it tells me that I genuinely like her. (Never had this reaction to any of the previous 20 match.com dates.) Im also rather confused because her comment was so non specific!
I want call her and talk about it a little more to find out exactly what the problem is. If she says that I dont have enough money, or Im ugly, or I smell bad ... ok, I can deal with that reason. But if she says "you dont have enough relationship experience" ... I can NOT deal with that response because it's total bull! In my opinion, whether or not you have a long history of relationships has nothing to do with how well something is going to work with the person standing right in front of you. If youre attracted to someone, have feelings for them and you respect them, you pursue the relationship and thats it her history means nothing to me (unless its really screwed up) I like her and thats all I need to know to want to learn more about her.
Im going to call her today and try to get at least a little more explanation out of her, if I can Im going to try to smooth out the wrinkles and see if we can keep getting to know each other because I truly do like her.
Part of me whats to fight to get the girl and another part of me says to just walk away because Ive only had 2 dates with her and I already had another match.com date setup for this coming week but then the other part says what if shes just confused herself and that I like her enough to put more effort into this.
I dont know! Please add any comments that may help me here as Im a little confused by all this?
While eharmony.com is a terrible service in my area, match.com has actually been working great! I've been on probably 20 dates in the last 3 months and I can't honestly say that Ive had a single bad experience with the whole process.
Last week I met a match that I was really excited about meeting, she seemed to have it together and she seemed to have an attitude that really worked well with my own. After the first date I knew that I liked her ... I knew that in the first 15 minutes of sitting down and talking to her ... and after a few hours together we parted ways and setup a second date a few days later.
On our second date we met at her house and then hopped in her car to go meet up with some of her friends. While she was driving she asked me how many long term relationships I had in the past. I told her that I had essentially not had any before and she had this severely adverse reaction, saying "that raises all sorts of red flags". She then immediately asked if I had sex before and I replied "yes" ... which was a true answer, but didnt go into the fact that my sexual history was rather limited as well. I sort of dropped the subject after that because she had such an adverse reaction to my response that it freaked me out as to why she was that concerned about my past on the second date.
Other than that little episode, our second date seemed to go really well, we met up with her friends, had fun and she gave me a whole bunch of signs that lead me to believe she liked me.
The first sign was the fact that she trusted me enough to have me meet her at her house, which I imagine you would not do if you didnt like the guy you met 2 days before. The second sign was that she told me in the bar that she had "the most realistic sexual dream she's had in a long time" last night (which happened to be the night after she met me) and then cut herself off half way through saying "It's been that long since Ive had sex!" The third sign was that she told me she didnt want to get wild and crazy with her friends while I was there because she didnt want to embarrass herself in front of me.
Not only that but the whole night we were looking at each other, she kept grabbing my arm and rubbing my back and we kept nudging and poking at each other for fun.
Then on Easter morning I text message her to wish her a happy Easter and left her a little message asking if she wanted to go check out an art gallery later in the week. She text messaged me back saying that she "didnt think I was in a place to have a serious relationship" and that's what she was looking for. Clearly shes trying to brush me off but why would things to so seemingly well for the first two dates and then suddenly she wants to cut it off?
Honestly Im kind of hurt by this ... which is actually a good thing because it tells me that I genuinely like her. (Never had this reaction to any of the previous 20 match.com dates.) Im also rather confused because her comment was so non specific!
I want call her and talk about it a little more to find out exactly what the problem is. If she says that I dont have enough money, or Im ugly, or I smell bad ... ok, I can deal with that reason. But if she says "you dont have enough relationship experience" ... I can NOT deal with that response because it's total bull! In my opinion, whether or not you have a long history of relationships has nothing to do with how well something is going to work with the person standing right in front of you. If youre attracted to someone, have feelings for them and you respect them, you pursue the relationship and thats it her history means nothing to me (unless its really screwed up) I like her and thats all I need to know to want to learn more about her.
Im going to call her today and try to get at least a little more explanation out of her, if I can Im going to try to smooth out the wrinkles and see if we can keep getting to know each other because I truly do like her.
Part of me whats to fight to get the girl and another part of me says to just walk away because Ive only had 2 dates with her and I already had another match.com date setup for this coming week but then the other part says what if shes just confused herself and that I like her enough to put more effort into this.
I dont know! Please add any comments that may help me here as Im a little confused by all this?