Fight over pregnancy

InsaneJester

Experimental Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
Posts
302
Media
1
Likes
4
Points
163
Location
AL
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Plan B is preventative contraception. Hello? It is NOT an abortion. It will NOT terminate a pregnancy. I DOES prevent pregnancy if taken before fertilization. That is why it is taken "the morning after". .... I would get her a dose ASAP. And also have some more conversation about her abandonment issues.

I know its not an abortion, which is why I listed them separately. I'm not going to force her to do something she has said she refuses to do. Its her body and her decision. I'm thankful that she doesn't consider an abortion (and yes I still know plan b and an abortion are separate)

If she's pregnant, it's nobody's "fault" - but the responsibility would belongs to both of you. Don't be so zealous to make sure she doesn't feel bad about it that you accept a bunch of "blame" that doesn't exist. Remember how many it takes to tango.

Not fault so much as responsibility. It was my responsibility to be safe. And its not so much accepting blame as making sure she doesn't load herself down with thoughts like its her fault for jumping me like that and stuff. Even though it was my responsibility

Hey, I believe you - it's not me you need to convince. Tell her what you told me. It seems like crossed wires - you just need to convince her of that. Preferably before you know the result either way.

Good luck x

Not trying to convince, just saying, lol.

Thanks

the general opinion here is plan b, its obvious you are not ready for a child, and there is nothing worse than people bringing in children in the world who are no where near fit to take care of them, it takes 15 seconds to put on a condom, it takes a lifetime to raise a child

do the world a favor and start using your brain before some bad ass little kid with horrible parents robs me in 16 years ...

How is it obvious? A little fight and we're not ready? You don't know who we are or our living situation.

Kids that are raised right don't rob people like that. You're assuming the worst and you have no clue. Use your brain in the future.
 

D_Ben Twilly

Experimental Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Posts
97
Media
0
Likes
2
Points
51
Not fault so much as responsibility. It was my responsibility to be safe. And its not so much accepting blame as making sure she doesn't load herself down with thoughts like its her fault for jumping me like that and stuff. Even though it was my responsibility
Dude, birth control, if used, is up to both partners to be responsible for. Your heart is in the right place, but don't take all the burden onto yourself for a lapse both of you shared in.
 

D_Ben Twilly

Experimental Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Posts
97
Media
0
Likes
2
Points
51
Besides, as you know, she's probably not pregnant. This isn't an early 90's health video. Sounds like you guys got ahead of yourselves by getting scared, she misinterpreted something you said, and now you've got a brooding babe on your hands. Just communicate with her on this, admit to being human without accepting blame for the argument, and start letting her get over it. It will be okay.
 

aninnymouse

Cherished Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Dec 13, 2006
Posts
2,812
Media
0
Likes
349
Points
553
Location
In My Own World
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
Besides, as you know, she's probably not pregnant. This isn't an early 90's health video. Sounds like you guys got ahead of yourselves by getting scared, she misinterpreted something you said, and now you've got a brooding babe on your hands. Just communicate with her on this, admit to being human without accepting blame for the argument, and start letting her get over it. It will be okay.

Aside from your first statement, that shes probably not pregnant, I agree with you. They got ahead of themselves by getting scared. I can understand that even the idea of plan B contraception pushes all of her abandonment buttons. Yes, they do need to talk about it, and they BOTH need to be honest and admit to being human w/o getting in each others' faces and assigning or accepting blame.

However, I personally know people who have had one night stand babies. They have a good time with someone, and then all of a sudden, nine months later, they get a call..."Hey, I just had a baby, I think it's yours. Sure enough, when the DNA results come back; the baby is his. I know there's no need to be dramatic, but....Yes, all it takes is once.
 

helgaleena

Sexy Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2006
Posts
5,475
Media
7
Likes
43
Points
193
Location
Wisconsin USA
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Female
If you are Glad she refuses to think of aborting if it comes to that, and you Let her jump you without protection, it sounds like both of you are flirting with starting a family. That's hardball. Think long and deep about this.
 

D_Ben Twilly

Experimental Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Posts
97
Media
0
Likes
2
Points
51
There was once a time when children weren't planned and paid for in advance like furniture or appliances. It can still be done, and it isn't the end of the world.
 

InsaneJester

Experimental Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
Posts
302
Media
1
Likes
4
Points
163
Location
AL
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
put it in a letter.

long hand, hand written, much underrated.
tell her how you feel about her.
a good, old fashioned love letter.
the sort where you list all the reasons she is wonderful, open your heart over how she makes you feel, confessing all your hopes and dreams.
what does she need when she's upset? a favourite candy? flowers that bring back a happy memory? something small but deeply personal.

show her, in one gesture, that you love her and that you know what she needs.

don't even mention the pregnancy fears because you'll love her whatever the outcome, right?

then give her space.

I just wanted to say I think your advice helped the most D. I left her the letter and ssbdp this morning and she called me to come over when she woke up.

I don't even know when the test will be accurate or whatever, but I don't care, I just wanna be there for my gf (yeh im too much of a romantic, oh well)
 

EllieP

Worshipped Member
Gold
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Posts
9,923
Media
4
Likes
22,057
Points
318
Location
USA
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
You know, I get really sick about hearing this. How many babies are born because somebody "wasn't thinking." See that thing between your legs? It comes with a responsibility. I mean, you do look where you pee, right?

You need to be with her more than ever right now, or take off like the baby-daddy. If you love her, you'll make it work. It's hard.

One of my closest cousins came to me and told me his girlfriend was pregnant. I know I had a worried look on my face, but I said "that's wonderful." And he said, no, they don't really get along. Well, they have to get along now, and my heart aches to see them together with the little one. He's so wonderful, but mom and dad are still uncomfortable in their roles.

Get comfortable, buddy. Love her with all of your heart. When this scare is over then do something. Don't get complacent again, and for heaven's sake, start thinking!
 

InsaneJester

Experimental Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
Posts
302
Media
1
Likes
4
Points
163
Location
AL
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
You know, I get really sick about hearing this. How many babies are born because somebody "wasn't thinking." See that thing between your legs? It comes with a responsibility. I mean, you do look where you pee, right?

Yeh because no responsibility comes with female equipment, the package just isnt big enough to fit any responsibility in there.

You need to be with her more than ever right now, or take off like the baby-daddy. If you love her, you'll make it work. It's hard.

I'm not him.

Get comfortable, buddy. Love her with all of your heart. When this scare is over then do something. Don't get complacent again, and for heaven's sake, start thinking!

We were looking at houses two days before it happened. Im trying to work out a way to travel to texas where she's from without her knowing why, so I can talk to her parents and ask her dad for her hand (yeh yeh, old fashioned but thats me most of the time)

You know 1000 times you can do it right, and it only takes once to get pregnant. Its not complacency, but rather a momentary slip. Complacency is a longer running lack of caring.
 

Eric_8

Experimental Member
Joined
Aug 13, 2010
Posts
3,559
Media
0
Likes
17
Points
73
Location
San Diego
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
If you're planning on sticking around and she actually is pregnant, you better be willing to man and completely change your life, but it can, and will work if you make the commitment.
 

InsaneJester

Experimental Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
Posts
302
Media
1
Likes
4
Points
163
Location
AL
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
If you're planning on sticking around and she actually is pregnant, you better be willing to man and completely change your life, but it can, and will work if you make the commitment.

I was planning on sticking around long term before the possible conception, nothings changed. The guys that run when the girl gets pregnant are in it for the wrong reason, sex. We have sex yes but thats not why Im with her. It was almost two months after we started dating before we first made love.

Im excited to know the results.