To be blunt: What the fuck? I finally find an amazing girl who likes the same things I do; someone who I can be myself around. Someone I can see myself being with for awhile. She gives amazing head, has a nice ass, wants to be my first lay (I'm still a virgin), and thinks my dick is huge (her previous beau was "tiny" in her own words). We play video games together and just be big dorks, and it makes me genuinely happy. But I'm doing the same thing I always do with my relationships: I sabotage things by longing for the things I could do while I was single, like flirting with girls over IM who want me, and love the fact I have a "huge cock" (not my words, I'm not trying to come off as conceited). I want to stop this, but fuck, it's difficult. Can someone explain why the hell I'm doing this to myself? I guess this is more of a blog post than a forum post, but I want answers. Anyone?