Bbucko, when I go to the US people always ask for details about things I don't really care about: are you gay? Are you "straight"? Bisexual maybe? Basically taking side on the basis of sexual practices. I suspect that is what is going to happen in the future US Army. The US Army will be segmented along these lines. It seems strange to me because an army is about cohesion for combat, not so much about defining people.
As most Europeans of my generation I did a military service that's why I am sceptical about the all thing I can see the strange environment that is likely to result.
Don't get me wrong I also think that banning people because they have sex with people of the same gender is equally ridiculous. Biblical prejudices have nothing to do with the battle field. Alexander the Great, Caesar, Frederick the Great of Prussia are illuminating examples from the past....
You're describing a phenomenon described in an article I read years ago deploring the tell-all/bare-all side of our culture. The article blamed talk-show hostess Oprah Winfrey for this, calling it (if I'm not mistaken) the "Oprah-ti-zation" of America
Your experiences as a foreign national and mine as a native born citizen obviously depart significantly. In fact, in all my adult life, only one person has ever grilled me regarding my sexuality, and that was in questioning on what the meaning behind the rainbow sticker on the back of my Buick was, in New Haven, CT, in 1999. She turned out to be something of a kook generally.
I honestly can't imagine where you were where the primary subject of every conversation centered around the gender of your sex partners; I'm not saying it didn't happen, but I simply cannot imagine the context. FWIW, I live in Paris for many years in the 1990s and have spent months in Spain, so I'm not entirely unacquainted with European mores.
I sincerely wish I could remember more about my Amsterdam weekend spent in 1991, but my memory is obscured either by AIDS dementia or lost in a cloud of hashish-laced cigarettes. I know it occurred but really do draw a total blank
The Christianist hysteria over LGBTs serving openly in the military is anchored in the American Culture Wars, which began in the 1960s, had a slight cease-fire in the 1970s and have grown increasingly ferocious ever since. In my optimistic stupidity, I honestly believed that Obama's election would have dampened them somewhat, but they're stronger now than ever.
I am well aware of historical precedent for military valor among those who act on their same-sex orientation: please don't condescend to me again. The USA is much larger, much more diverse and much much more self-aware than you give us credit for being, even with the great "unwashed masses", whoever they might have been, whose curiosity regarding your sexuality caused you to register such a strong opinion of us.
Your "unsure" status remains entirely your own concern in my entirely disinterested opinion, speaking as yet
another American whom you've met in your assorted travels.