Finding A Relationship

swingfun

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Heres a thought that might help...do you have any activities or hobbies that you enjoy? If so find a group near you and join. I understand the shy part but if you are in a group setting it might take some of the pressure off and help you relax and just start meeting others.
 

RandomGuyUK

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Heres a thought that might help...do you have any activities or hobbies that you enjoy? If so find a group near you and join. I understand the shy part but if you are in a group setting it might take some of the pressure off and help you relax and just start meeting others.
I do, I'll look and try and find some groups nearby, thank you
 

spaj8987

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First thing that comes to mind is to worry less. If you're shy because you might be considered you'll say something stupid, or do something stupid keep in mind that we all do. No human being can be right about everything all the time. We all do and will make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. Sometimes small ones.

The saying practice makes perfect has a grain of truth in it. The more you do something the better you'll get at it. Unless of course you have some serious issues you previously didn't know about. In which case practicing will show those issues to you if your self aware enough.

I say this a lot. Like a lot a lot. Try your best to be as logical as you can. Most of dating and talking to other human beings has a certain large amount of rejection involved. It's a numbers game. There's a very long list of reasons or excuses people will have for why you aren't their type. Not talking just romantic relationships either. Even when it comes to friendships people still carry the same influences they do in romantic relationships.

And the last thing i can think of right now. Be your own best friend first. Be able to enjoy your own company while no one else is around. That's a good general rule by itself but it becomes important ten fold when dealing with other human beings in any capacity. You will be rejected, you will be attacked, you will have people attempt to paint you as things you are not but odds are also good that you won't. That you'll be the one who has to reject someone else.

If you like yourself, enjoy your own time with yourself and it never gets to the level of narcissism you'll be able to navigate other people, interact with them and so on without many large issues. And will be able to handle large amounts of what you have to deal with without internalizing it. Sure, if something is logical. Takes cues from it. Most of all though. Be kind. To yourself and others. When you can.
 

RandomGuyUK

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First thing that comes to mind is to worry less. If you're shy because you might be considered you'll say something stupid, or do something stupid keep in mind that we all do. No human being can be right about everything all the time. We all do and will make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. Sometimes small ones.

The saying practice makes perfect has a grain of truth in it. The more you do something the better you'll get at it. Unless of course you have some serious issues you previously didn't know about. In which case practicing will show those issues to you if your self aware enough.

I say this a lot. Like a lot a lot. Try your best to be as logical as you can. Most of dating and talking to other human beings has a certain large amount of rejection involved. It's a numbers game. There's a very long list of reasons or excuses people will have for why you aren't their type. Not talking just romantic relationships either. Even when it comes to friendships people still carry the same influences they do in romantic relationships.

And the last thing i can think of right now. Be your own best friend first. Be able to enjoy your own company while no one else is around. That's a good general rule by itself but it becomes important ten fold when dealing with other human beings in any capacity. You will be rejected, you will be attacked, you will have people attempt to paint you as things you are not but odds are also good that you won't. That you'll be the one who has to reject someone else.

If you like yourself, enjoy your own time with yourself and it never gets to the level of narcissism you'll be able to navigate other people, interact with them and so on without many large issues. And will be able to handle large amounts of what you have to deal with without internalizing it. Sure, if something is logical. Takes cues from it. Most of all though. Be kind. To yourself and others. When you can.
First thing that comes to mind is to worry less. If you're shy because you might be considered you'll say something stupid, or do something stupid keep in mind that we all do. No human being can be right about everything all the time. We all do and will make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. Sometimes small ones.

The saying practice makes perfect has a grain of truth in it. The more you do something the better you'll get at it. Unless of course you have some serious issues you previously didn't know about. In which case practicing will show those issues to you if your self aware enough.

I say this a lot. Like a lot a lot. Try your best to be as logical as you can. Most of dating and talking to other human beings has a certain large amount of rejection involved. It's a numbers game. There's a very long list of reasons or excuses people will have for why you aren't their type. Not talking just romantic relationships either. Even when it comes to friendships people still carry the same influences they do in romantic relationships.

And the last thing i can think of right now. Be your own best friend first. Be able to enjoy your own company while no one else is around. That's a good general rule by itself but it becomes important ten fold when dealing with other human beings in any capacity. You will be rejected, you will be attacked, you will have people attempt to paint you as things you are not but odds are also good that you won't. That you'll be the one who has to reject someone else.

If you like yourself, enjoy your own time with yourself and it never gets to the level of narcissism you'll be able to navigate other people, interact with them and so on without many large issues. And will be able to handle large amounts of what you have to deal with without internalizing it. Sure, if something is logical. Takes cues from it. Most of all though. Be kind. To yourself and others. When you can.
Thanks, there's a lot in there I'll keep notes of that
 

larsmi

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This is a common topic because it is a common concern. Since you aren't in the US (where there's a long tradition of volunteer work) I'm not sure what it's like in the UK but I'd encourage you to get involved in a cause that matters to you. If you meet someone like-minded and start a relationship, great, but if not you're doing something you like that helps others. It has the potential to make you feel better either way. You may not find love but possibly find a good friend which is also a great thing.
 

pretzelslut

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Establishing common interests, while also participating in neutral activities (bookstore/hobbystore for example). Also extroverts will sometimes just find and introvert and say

"hey you're my friend now :)"

So there's that too haha.

Most importantly; be the most authentic you, you can be. Translucency always helps with approachability
 

51arledge

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There are so many good posts already in this thread! I used to be a very shy person, and one of the best pieces of wisdom I ever got was, "Try to be a person whom you would be interested in!"
For me, that meant more attention to grooming and physical fitness, but also being better at LISTENING.
That strategy paid off quickly when I rather quickly found myself choosing between boyfriends one of whom has been my husband for 31 years. He had also been on a similar track of being the "best me" possible and being OK with OK if I'm to be single....and then we met.
That strategy also means that now I have many, many good friends in our neighborhood and at the gym in addition to all that we've met in other venues.

As was said above, be authentic.
 

halcyondays

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Follow your bliss. Throw yourself into the work, hobbies and interests which make you happy. You will meet and cross antennae with others who have the same/similar passions. Your shyness won't make any difference.

Don't try to make it happen. Just let it happen.:cool:
 
D

deleted1074483

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hey bud, much as others have said, find interests that you enjoy and are into but also where you're likely to find girls - so if you like dancing, lots of gyms have Zumba classes for example, or if you're into walking then there's lots of hiking groups.
also go on some dating sites, or even on here, and describe yourself and situation accurately.
finally, be happy with yourself, with who you are, and your situation, be happy being on your own, then you won't come across as desperate when you do meet some one.

good luck bud, you look like a fit young guy;-)