Finding my inner dominatrix

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by L_Lynn, Aug 9, 2010.

  1. L_Lynn

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    I have always been more of the submissive type, but lately I have been allowed, encouraged, to explore my dominant side. It started with a few tentative words and has grown into a whole persona, Mistress Raven. I put on my black wig and red fishnets, grab my whip and attach a leash to his collar and we are off!

    I am still having a hard time though being mean; I can't call him a loser or pathetic or say anything too derogatory. And I am a little gentle with the whip. We are both new to this and he is exploring it as much as I am.

    Any input from the ladies? Have you tried it? What was your experience like?
     
  2. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I have no experience with dominance at all - I'm a sub through and through.

    But you really don't need to be mean, unless that's what he specifically wants.

    I would advise reading, reading and more reading; and going to a BDSM specific site or three and asking the same question. You're likely to find a lot more people with experience who could give you some good advice.
     
  3. L_Lynn

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    I've glanced around the net but most of it seems too "advanced" or intense for where we are at. And we have watched some porn for ideas. We discuss what we like and why.

    It's just kinda crazy since I have always been the submissive type and it's totally different, both being the dominant and the way a woman dominates vs. a man. I was hoping someone else had gone through this transition before and had some insight.
     
  4. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    I'm dominant but i don't think it is something you can learn to be....for me i am naturally dominant and it's natural for me to be like that.

    Also,donning a black wig etc etc is uneccassary imo.

    If you feel that you need to learn then there are 1000's of mistresses that will teach you the 'ropes'/tricks of the trade and speaking of ropes that was the only thing i had to learn how to do.

    Go onto google for mistresses in your area ^^^

    I'm paid by my subs and they always return for more so i can't be too bad :p

    I have never understood someone being a 'switch'...i just don't get that at all.

     
    #4 D_Sparroe Spongecaques, Aug 11, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2010
  5. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    And you do not have to, there are many, many other ways to show you are in control.

    I love it.


    The thing is to keep in fun, spontaneous, and uniquely you, not fall into the cliches because it ruins the sense of tension and unknown that he will really enjoy.

    If you'd like, shoot me a PM and let me know what he likes and I will give you some openings, but doin' the do should all be based on instinct.

    *applause* for opening yourself up to the fun!
     
  6. L_Lynn

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    @Tasha- The wig isn't necessary but it seems to help both of us. For me, it pushes me into a different personality, one where I feel more severe and less sweet. Dressing up and changing my appearance has always had a subtle affect on my personality and since this is someone I am in a relationship with, living with, raising kids with, it kinda of separates the LL he loves from the Sex Doll he dominates from the Mistress Raven he is a slave to. As to switching, I think that at 40 I have finally hit the confidence level I need to pull this off. It may have always been in me.

    @ExotiKittie- I do stay away from using degrading words and keep more to telling him what, where and when he can do what I want him to do. I try to keep him guessing, tho' that is not hard since I am trying to figure out myself what to do next! Last time, I left him in the bedroom upstairs sitting naked on his knees on the floor, head down, with a raging hard-on for an hour while I went downstairs and checked my Facebook page and ran through a couple web sites. When I came back upstairs, he had softened to a semi so I had to punish him.[​IMG] I will pm you when I get a chance. And thanks for the positivity!
     
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