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I mean, a large percentage of people in the world are good, moral, hard working people who lead good lives ... absolutely nothing to complain about ... but their perception of the world tends to be rather small and when their pulled outside of that ... they get uncomfortable. It's like they're locked into their little bubble and don't want to break out of it.
patriot, I think you've raised a great question, and one I can definitely relate to. I may be going out on a limb here, but I think this snippet above may be a little auto-biographical in a way you don't realize. Sounds like you also realize that by being unique, you can get locked into a kind of bubble. You want to break out of yours, and don't quite know how to.
In my opinion, the trick is to recognize the difference between being unique (and it really does sound like you are unique in some ways compared to many others), and figuring out what you have in common with others.
The trick to having good social relations with others, no matter who they are and no matter how ordinary or unique they may be, is to try to stay focused on what you have in common. This is what makes a chat at a bar, in some group, in any organization--no matter what it is--enjoyable. It's a test of your own creativity and imagination too.
The more unique you are in fact, the more challenging it can be in some situations to figure out what you have in common, or want to have in common, with others.
I have a very unique background and skill set. I was raised on a farm in a world that was almost pre-industrial in a way, very simple people in simple interactions. We had a big family, 10 kids. I was smart, so went away to school at 14. Had a great education. Studied philosophy eventually with some of the world's best. Got into art, architecture, music, computers, painting (and I love burning man). I'm a very original guy, have lots of energy, am entrepreneurial, wound up working in a large international organization that is very complex. I have hobbies that others think are unusually intense, extreme, out-there. So I'm sort of an "outlier." I'm also gay, which can put me on the outside too when I'm with straight people who are focused more on their families, kids, schools, etc. I like racially and culturally diverse environments, have quite a few european friends.
But I don't focus on all of those things simultaneously whenever I meet somebody new and try to have a conversation.
Instead, I draw on whatever part of my background and mind or life experience they can relate to, and enjoy figuring out what common language we can speak.
I can talk farm work and manual labor with any blue collar worker, because I've done it. I can talk academics with any brainiac because I have loved and done at least some hobby reading in everything from neurology to string theory to art criticism to sociology, religion, history, literature. I can talk finance and global economics with the internationalists. I can talk race politics with minorities, I can talk religion with fundamentalists and atheists, philosophy with people who never think about logic, and psychology with people who hate psychology.
The key to being happy in all of this for me is never to expect that I am going to find somebody exactly like me precisely because I am unique. There is nobody like me, nobody with my background and peculiar set of insights, experiences, and method.
But because my interests are wide-ranging (like yours seem to be), I have a hell of a lot to draw on at any given time in a conversation. I've had a lot of experience with women, and am bisexual enough that I can relate to any straight guy w/o compromising myself. I have enough confidence in who I am that I can relate to an 80 yr old as easily as a 7 yr old, or a confused 20 yr old as easily as a very accomplished professional at the top of his game.
I simply figure out something we have in common, something we can both relate to, and I focus on that. I focus on what common identity we share, not the elements of our identities that are different, and that make each of us unique.
Identity and difference go together in human experience. You can't have one without the other. You can't have a real identity unless you are in fact different from other people, and you can't have real relationships unless you are able to focus on your common identity and experiences, your shared values and meanings, while simultaneously respecting those things that make you different. This is as true in a marriage as it is in friendship or in work or in your family. You have to be able to experience identity and difference simultaneously, and keep them in an easy, simple balance simultaneously, too. It's not always easy, but that is the dialectic that keeps life interesting and worthwhile. It's the dialectic that creates value and momentum in nearly every worthwhile human thing you do.
You alone know what makes you unique. If you focus only on that, it will in fact make you feel sometimes like you are living in a bubble. But you always have the choice, no matter where you are, no matter who you're with, to focus on what you have in common with others. That is the method you can always use to slide yourself into that clearing which is mid-way between being unique, and being a member of a common group of humanity.
Bottom line to me is that I also think you are right when you say that what you are probably looking for most of all is a wife. But to marry, you don't need to find someone as unique as you are. You need to find someone who will enjoy your uniqueness just as much as you enjoy hers. You need to find someone you enjoy sharing things in common with, even if you are both unique. Find easy ways to change gears in the way you think, and shift from the "unique" sphere that is you alone to the "common" sphere where you focus on things you really do enjoy sharing with others, and the rest will sort itself out. You'll find a surprising mix of very ordinary, very good, and very unusual, original solutions simultaneously, just as you do in any entrepreneurial exercise.
good luck, friend.