Finding Platonic Friendships On Grindr???

[Lilyoftheghetto]

Is there such a thing? I have never been on Grindr but have heard its mostly used for drive-by hook-ups. Do people or has anyone here purposely seeked out and found platonic friendships on Grindr?

I work from home and I am a caregiver for an ailing elderly parent. I don't get out much and hardly ever find myself in a situation where I'm around a lot of gay men. I don't go to clubs or bars. I'm pretty vanilla. I go to the gym, grocery shopping, have lunch/dinner with straight friends and things of that nature but I work A LOT!

It's been impossible to find or form friendships with other gay men in my middle - aged group. I have always had a hard time finding gay male friends because, in my experience, a lot of gay men aren't interested in friendship if they don't find you fuckable right away. And whenever I have made it clear I was only interested in platonic friendship, they always abandon ship quickly. Therefore, 99.9% of my friend group have always been straight (to my knowledge).

Do you think I have a remote chance at being successful finding platonic friendships on Grindr or am I totally barking up the wrong tree? Any other online suggestions for finding other gay men to only be non-sexual friends with?

 

[GayBootyLover69]

Is there such a thing? I have never been on Grindr but have heard its mostly used for drive-by hook-ups. Do people or has anyone here purposely seeked out and found platonic friendships on Grindr?

I work from home and I am a caregiver for an ailing elderly parent. I don't get out much and hardly ever find myself in a situation where I'm around a lot of gay men. I don't go to clubs or bars. I'm pretty vanilla. I go to the gym, grocery shopping, have lunch/dinner with straight friends and things of that nature but I work A LOT!

It's been impossible to find or form friendships with other gay men in my middle - aged group. I have always had a hard time finding gay male friends because, in my experience, a lot of gay men aren't interested in friendship if they don't find you fuckable right away. And whenever I have made it clear I was only interested in platonic friendship, they always abandon ship quickly. Therefore, 99.9% of my friend group have always been straight (to my knowledge).

Do you think I have a remote chance at being successful finding platonic friendships on Grindr or am I totally barking up the wrong tree? Any other online suggestions for finding other gay men to only be non-sexual friends with?

finding platonic friendships through grindr is possible, however that's easier said than done since most people use it for hookups

i would say the best way to go about it would be to make it crystal-clear in your profile that you're just looking for friends and not hookups (you could include your hobbies/things you like too), and have non-sexual photos on your profile

 

[GayBootyLover69]

also if anything, it might be a little easier nowadays to find platonic friends via grindr since the app now has a highly popular competitor, sniffies

sniffies is like grindr except it's more cruise-y, everyone's on a map, and people can have nude profile pics, so hookup/"right now" culture is even more prevalent there than it is on grindr

so maybe because of sniffies, it's a bit easier now to find friends on grindr who aren't interested in hookups

 

[LPSG Simon]

If you pay for the pro version (I know it's steep these days and choked with those stupid gaming ads if you don't, but that's a whole other discussion), you can set your filters to only show people who have selected the 'friends / networking' option in their 'looking for'. That would help who you're interacting with.

I've always thought that a reverse search feature would be great on an hookup app, so instead of looking for who you're after, you're only visible to the type of people you want to meet. It would make for a lot less unpleasant rejection TBH.

Conversely, just being a 'time waster' on there with a bit of an open mind is a good way to collect friends organically. Maybe you hook up with them too, but if you can actually spend time chatting with someone, you'll know if you want to be friends with each other. The impatient ones you don't want will naturally lose interest and go away on their own.

You mentioned being pretty busy, but I wonder if you have time to join a local queer interest club or meetup group around some of the interests and hobbies you mentioned. Apps can be efficient, but Im still a big believer that meeting people over common interests instead of a picture and proximity sets a way more solid foundation for any sort of friendship or relationship.