Fine Dessert's Bad Jokes III

jonb

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[quote author=DeeBlackthorne link=board=99;num=1068686172;start=0#18 date=03/11/04 at 22:24:57]I've been playing [link=http://www.rpgdreamers.com/ffx/index.html]Final Fantasy X[/link] for the PlayStation 2.  When your characters reach Macalania Woods, Tidus mispronounces the area as "Macarena."  Wakka corrects him, and Tidus throws an "Aaaahie!" after that.   :D[/quote]
Actually, that pun works better in Japanese, since the spelling would be

hma.gif
hka.gif
hra.gif
hnya.gif


That's makaranya in romanji. Of course, I'm assuming it's hiragana.

Jon (once again wishing YaBB had better ASCII art so I wouldn't have to link those images)
 

jonb

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Here's one for you, speaking of the Bushies:

"If the Democratic policies had been pursued over the past two or three years, the kind of tax increases that both Kerry and Edwards have talked about, we would not have had the kind of job growth we've had."
-Dick Cheney

Now THAT is a bad joke.
 

Pecker

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Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions inthe seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.

Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria,and Lebanon.)

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Texas executes last remaining citizen.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screw-drivers and baseball bats must be registered by January 2036.
 

D_Martin van Burden

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[quote author=Pecker link=board=99;num=1068686172;start=20#24 date=03/27/04 at 06:55:55]  
 

Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035

...New federal law requires that all... baseball bats must be registered by January 2036.[/quote]

::looks down at his bulge:: Yeah, President, it's all mine! Wanna make somethin' of it?!
 

Pecker

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How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has
been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how
the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing
light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is
"lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and
that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in
violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to
please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic
forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use
light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior,
where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best
for this technique, and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light
bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to
this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety
including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because
they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting
questions about light bulbs"

1 to say his dick is too big to change a light bulb

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now
and start it all over again....
 

oldman9x7

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I love it, Pecker, and I can't dispute a single statistic. Your research is impeckerable.

Gramps