First gay experience potentially

Topher90

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So 33 yr old single male been on here for awhile so I think for the most part I am probably bisexual at least very much so online never really have done anything in person I just really enjoy exhibitionism haven't any luck with woman for years like none dating apps don't seem to work at all anyway decided to give grindr a try just to see what it was like and of course fielded tons of messages from thirsty guys I have no interest especially for a first time so the other day got a message from an anonymous profile we talked and shared pics attractive fit smooth twink and has invited me over a few times and I just haven't been able and being (DL) is not exactly easy especially staying with family ATM so at this point I'm actually considering doing it I just have a thousand things going through my head like feeling guilty afterwards and wishing I hadn't done it maybe him kind of getting attached to me the anxiety from it and just all sorts of stuff just looking for anyone else's opinion or suggestions any advice at all really thanks
 

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So 33 yr old single male been on here for awhile so I think for the most part I am probably bisexual at least very much so online never really have done anything in person I just really enjoy exhibitionism haven't any luck with woman for years like none dating apps don't seem to work at all anyway decided to give grindr a try just to see what it was like and of course fielded tons of messages from thirsty guys I have no interest especially for a first time so the other day got a message from an anonymous profile we talked and shared pics attractive fit smooth twink and has invited me over a few times and I just haven't been able and being (DL) is not exactly easy especially staying with family ATM so at this point I'm actually considering doing it I just have a thousand things going through my head like feeling guilty afterwards and wishing I hadn't done it maybe him kind of getting attached to me the anxiety from it and just all sorts of stuff just looking for anyone else's opinion or suggestions any advice at all really thanks
You should start with thinking about the positive things that would come out of it, finally breaking down a barrier for example, instead of all the negative that you described. You are apparently already thinking that you will feel guilty and you haven't even done anything yet. You are worried about anxiety for something you haven't even done. You have a great looking cock in your profile so use it. Be up front with the twink that you aren't looking for a relationship, just some sexual experience. And why does your first time have to be with a twink? Find a hot guy your age with some experience. That's my take.
 

tps87

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Hmm, I get where your coming from. I think the only way you will know if you are into it is to try it. I think everyone who is on the DL goes thru this - thinking everyone will know, you will get caught, someone will see your car and wonder why you are there, etc. It is extremely unlikely if you meet up with a stranger that anyone will know you were having sex with him. You can always have reason ready to make yourself feel comfortable - he was selling something you were interested in buying, he is a work acquaintance who invited you over to hang out or whatever.

You don't need to feel guilty - you are an adult, this twink is an adult who is inviting you over. You are 33, even living with family you are free to go out at any time you want. You could give a million reasons for where you are going if you need to explain it or you could just say you are going out. He will not get attached to you from one meeting. He knows it is a hookup. He may decide he likes you and invite you again. If you enjoy it and like him that is an awesome outcome. If you don't and say no to a repeat visit he will be disappointed but you won't end life as he knows it. He will move on to the next.

You want to try it; he seems attractive to you that would want to try with him. I say go for it. You could spend the next 10 years pondering this and wasting time figuring out what makes you happy - don't waste that precious time.
 

Topher90

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Hmm, I get where your coming from. I think the only way you will know if you are into it is to try it. I think everyone who is on the DL goes thru this - thinking everyone will know, you will get caught, someone will see your car and wonder why you are there, etc. It is extremely unlikely if you meet up with a stranger that anyone will know you were having sex with him. You can always have reason ready to make yourself feel comfortable - he was selling something you were interested in buying, he is a work acquaintance who invited you over to hang out or whatever.

You don't need to feel guilty - you are an adult, this twink is an adult who is inviting you over. You are 33, even living with family you are free to go out at any time you want. You could give a million reasons for where you are going if you need to explain it or you could just say you are going out. He will not get attached to you from one meeting. He knows it is a hookup. He may decide he likes you and invite you again. If you enjoy it and like him that is an awesome outcome. If you don't and say no to a repeat visit he will be disappointed but you won't end life as he knows it. He will move on to the next.

You want to try it; he seems attractive to you that would want to try with him. I say go for it. You could spend the next 10 years pondering this and wasting time figuring out what makes you happy - don't waste that precious time.
Thank you for your response you put quite a bit into prospective for me much appreciated
 

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So 33 yr old single male been on here for awhile so I think for the most part I am probably bisexual at least very much so online never really have done anything in person I just really enjoy exhibitionism haven't any luck with woman for years like none dating apps don't seem to work at all anyway decided to give grindr a try just to see what it was like and of course fielded tons of messages from thirsty guys I have no interest especially for a first time so the other day got a message from an anonymous profile we talked and shared pics attractive fit smooth twink and has invited me over a few times and I just haven't been able and being (DL) is not exactly easy especially staying with family ATM so at this point I'm actually considering doing it I just have a thousand things going through my head like feeling guilty afterwards and wishing I hadn't done it maybe him kind of getting attached to me the anxiety from it and just all sorts of stuff just looking for anyone else's opinion or suggestions any advice at all really thanks
This is 2023... No shame in consenting adults having fun! Perhaps as a way to ease in you guys could meet at a public location where you can sit down and chat without pressure? Then you can chose to follow him to his place. Trust me... When I went to my parking lot rendezvous with the (only) guy I met up with, my mind was like a young man on his first date. Elevated heart rate and all. But after chatting in person first, I got into it. Turned into mutual only hand jobs. He was a really cool guy but our situation prevented further meetups. But I really enjoyed the experience and hope for more.

Edit: Be sure to wear one of your sexy underwear when you do meet up!
 
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Topher90

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This is 2023... No shame in consenting adults having fun! Perhaps as a way to ease in you guys could meet at a public location where you can sit down and chat without pressure? Then you can chose to follow him to his place. Trust me... When I went to my parking lot rendezvous with the (only) guy I met up with, my mind was like a young man on his first date. Elevated heart rate and all. But after chatting in person first, I got into it. Turned into mutual only hand jobs. He was a really cool guy but our situation prevented further meetups. But I really enjoyed the experience and hope for more.

Edit: Be sure to wear one of your sexy underwear when you do meet up!
I would of course wear some I usually don't the daily there is one other thing he has been very pushy and wanting to hang out and also when I said it wasn't going to happen the other night because I just couldn't he got very emotional and flooded my snap with messages and then texts he has since calmed down but that did seem some what of a flag to me?
 

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Meet up with him for coffee and see how it goes, and if you still like the idea then meet up with him again at yours or his, have a chat and see where it goes. You may find the chemistry is such that things progress fast, or it takes longer for something to happen, or there isn't common ground.
I met Pantyboy this way at first, and when he came to my place to chat the conversation was mostly about what he was looking for and what he was into. Cocks came out while watching a porn vid together and he was more interested in my cock than the vid, so I made that comment and told him I was ok with him investigating. Things developed from there and I soon discovered his interest in wearing panties...
 

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I would of course wear some I usually don't the daily there is one other thing he has been very pushy and wanting to hang out and also when I said it wasn't going to happen the other night because I just couldn't he got very emotional and flooded my snap with messages and then texts he has since calmed down but that did seem some what of a flag to me?
Being pushy is a red flag. Although there are many "seasoned" guys out there wanting "right now"... Or the telling "no back and forths" is a problem for me.
 
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tps87

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Yeah I agree pushy could be a flag. He also may be exciting to be with haha. Just use means to communicate that keep your identity discrete for now. Even if you meet him you don’t have to fully disclose who you are. Use a burner number, etc.
 

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Yeah I agree pushy could be a flag. He also may be exciting to be with haha. Just use means to communicate that keep your identity discrete for now. Even if you meet him you don’t have to fully disclose who you are. Use a burner number, etc.
I get that but I mean the first night he messaged me he was expecting to hang out that night he kind freaked out and then did it again a couple nights later I can't tell if like he's that attracted to me or just that thirsty I can't pin point it and now saying he's wants a definite answer within the next two days because he's off and I get that but the acting crazy part is a bit much and for me being DL meeting after a couple days is also a bit much could he be be like addicted or obsessed to me lol or crazy,if we hook up or something else I just don't know
 

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I get that but I mean the first night he messaged me he was expecting to hang out that night he kind freaked out and then did it again a couple nights later I can't tell if like he's that attracted to me or just that thirsty I can't pin point it and now saying he's wants a definite answer within the next two days because he's off and I get that but the acting crazy part is a bit much and for me being DL meeting after a couple days is also a bit much could he be be like addicted or obsessed to me lol or crazy,if we hook up or something else I just don't know
Also that being said we have each other's numbers and snaps dosent know my last name so there's that lol but he did clarify he is clearly gay just disguises himself on grinder which is fine totally get that
 

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And I mean super pushy if there's a possibility of hanging out and it doesn't happen he had a total meltdown
And seems to only wanna give his address and dosent wanna meet somewhere close to his place first briefly
 

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If you don't feel comfortable then move on. I said it is very unlikely anyone would "catch" you two together especially anyone you know and if they did they wouldn't know what you were doing anyway. BUT, you need commitment from him to keep this on the DL as well. If he is acting like this he may not. Maybe he is just trying to be dominate and thinks you are looking for that and is really ok and will respect what you want. Of course, I don't know and just texting someone as you are can be hard to fully determine their motives. There are plenty of guys out there so if this seems wrong keep looking and you will find someone attractive who is on the same page with you and make you feel comfortable.
 

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Thanks for the responses I'm probably gonna move on he's just too emotional when I can't come over and dosent grasp the fact I'm DL and can't just come over whenever he wants then after rants he says sex is off only hang out and so forth clearly u stable and my anxiety and brain can't take it at this point pretty ridiculous imo
 
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Holy cow. Not just red flags but flashing red lights with this one. The problem with guys like this isn't the pre-meet or even during the meet. It's what could happen after if you don't want to continue. Everything from stalking to outing you. Way better to find someone more grounded.
 

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So 33 yr old single male been on here for awhile so I think for the most part I am probably bisexual at least very much so online never really have done anything in person I just really enjoy exhibitionism haven't any luck with woman for years like none dating apps don't seem to work at all anyway decided to give grindr a try just to see what it was like and of course fielded tons of messages from thirsty guys I have no interest especially for a first time so the other day got a message from an anonymous profile we talked and shared pics attractive fit smooth twink and has invited me over a few times and I just haven't been able and being (DL) is not exactly easy especially staying with family ATM so at this point I'm actually considering doing it I just have a thousand things going through my head like feeling guilty afterwards and wishing I hadn't done it maybe him kind of getting attached to me the anxiety from it and just all sorts of stuff just looking for anyone else's opinion or suggestions any advice at all really thanks
I had alot of the same thoughts before my first time. It's really normal. I would just go for it. It's going to be fun.
 
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